4: The

y's

xo

bonus will be paid upon resolution of the female player situation wi

olu

ignation, trade acceptance

acilitating said reso

ce metric

d it

n a

emale player situation" meant something else. Maybe "resolution" was not me being erased from the Titans roster like a scheduling mis

not change. Not

tten in the email b

layer si

olu

ry resi

acce

t termi

to the bathroom b

nd gripping the edge of the sink, my throat burning and m

Jaxon's laptop still glowed in the liv

walked away. I should have told myself

, I wen

oman who needed to watch the knife ent

ok as I opened

Metrics: R

matting. There were charts for everything. My penalty mi

ime I spoke up in an interview. Every time I reacted to a bad call. Every time I pushed b

otes beside

ightened emotional resp

aggression following percei

cially isolated wi

again but this tim

ot Rory. N

bj

hing turning shallow. Then

t shows vulnerability to perceived personal co

he entire apartment n

o perceived per

hand covering

cei

e saying, I real

al con

taurant, his hand in my hair, his body c

ate

and it sounded wrong. Sh

Not a challenge. Not a woman he hated and m

uation. A subjec

on. They were pressure. Wear her down. Make her hurt. Make the

ds on my hips, breath at my neck, the entire team watching while he

ful. A way to get close. A way to study me. A way to f

the

sed m

o

think abou

la

ght ab

s giving me power. Like I had a choice. Like my yes mea

d a fist against it and h

eautifully. Quiet tears. Sha

ot one

e I was ang

had personally offended me. Then the crying stopped as s

rily. He wanted to

uld

*

for forty minutes, showered twice, deleted nothing from

he did. Because the devil apparently re

d a sweatshirt, hair damp from the shower, one ha

en he saw me

rni

over my face. "

t sleep

n the counter. "

is f

s drew t

mil

ed. "We were getting too co

s face. Relief came fir

point

ant to kno

said slowly.

ce couple stuff,"

rrowed. "Co

. Whatever performance

did not move. That was his mistake. I placed my palm a

eartbeat. Warmth I ha

ned slightly. I

"if I touch you like this, you do not look

e droppe

er, my voice turnin

at his side and

said. "Ju

pulle

nough to see his fists clench

ught with a

*

my body had been built fr

Every turn was fast.

st

as doing within the

cause he a

reset. He came after me on the next rotation and boxed me in along the bo

Callahan?"

my mouthguard.

yes f

practice

fou

h speed and steel and sharp turns. We fought with shoulders and checks and stolen puck

. He blocked. I cut around hi

le, half the team had stopped pr

ooks like for you two," Coach

burst int

y helmet and g

ared

me and the ugly, burning thing between us that did not care wheth

t up to me n

going on?

act

s not pr

ink of water. "T

ard Jaxon, then b

n response. "Mayb

sion chang

could ask the question I

cided my punishment for surviving

it "controll

nce for my future

ho kept telling me to relax while asking me to lean in

k sweater and dark jean

throw some

and tried not to think about the email

led. "Jaxon, hands on her wais

ist and my body remembered him

ody was a fuc

apher said. "Now, Rory

ushed my back and m

heat. You are i

n response. In lov

ered near my ear.

g for the cam

different sin

ve

es

ircled us. "Great

ned slightly against m

the closeness. The fact that he sound

y, just enough that my c

far you will take

ent

" I continued. "How com

low. "What d

mera. "How badly do

his jaw clenched so ha

hat I want," he sai

houted, "Perfect!

urse

n pretending not to break and the

*

tended to fall as

refused to shut down. The apartment was dark except for the thin

ame hom

of him now. The soft scrape of his shoes. The pause near the doorway. The way he st

eached the bedroom. He ans

pa

e about the m

closed but my

ned," he said, voi

her

ne, he said, "She is

to hold its breath

ontinued, "I just need more time

sto

toward me. I stayed still. The couch dipped slightly as he stood beside it.

eful, gentle manner. And his fingers br

ched. Almost.

pening my eyes that he was watching me intensely.

d. "For all of it. You wi

in in where anger had been doing such

walked

reathing even, and felt som

d to destroy me had

idea what was