Al and Sharon buy a new house, the former home of Board James. Strange occurrences frighten the newly weds. When Allen wakes up, he finds himself sitting before James and the others. They must play James's newest game, Board James, to completion, lest they be forever trapped within the living game. Board James is fanfiction based on the Board James web series owned by James Rolfe and Cinemassacre.
Chapter One
"Okay, " James started. "Here we are again; it's the night before Halloween, and time to review a classic board game. What do we have? One Night, Ultimate Werewolf...okay." Indifferently, he tossed the box aside to reach for another one. "Level Seven, Escape." He turned the box over a few times, shook his head while wincing, and tossed it aside as well. "What's this?"
Amidst other, colorful boxes was a small, square box. A picture of a goofy ghost was on the front.
"Ghost Blitz, and look, there's a green bottle on the ground next to him. Is that beer? Is he drunk? Is that why it's Ghost Blitz? 'Cause he's blitzed? He sure as fuck looks tweaked." James started to crack open the box, but paused. "Major fun award? What the Hell is that? Well, whatever. Let's get started."
After dropping the top, James pulled out a deck of cards and a baggy with game pieces. "Let's see; we got cards with pictures of the ghost. This one has a chair. This one a mouse, and what're these? Oh, this is the chair, but it's red. Why's the chair on the card blue? And what's this piece? A butt plug? Oh, that's the ghost."
Once he finished rifling through the game pieces, he scratched his head in confusion, picked up the tiny manual, and read through it. "A reaction game as fast as lightning for two to eight bright minds. Yeah, no dumbasses allowed. Story and object of the game– Object? Do they mean objective? Anyway....
"Balduin, the house ghost, " he stopped speaking to laugh. "House ghost? Is that like house...? Never mind, we won't go there. So, Balduin found an old camera in the castle cellar. I like where this is goin'; a ghost director. Kind of reminds me of something, but I can't put my finger on it...." Trailing off, the reviewer readjusted his ball cap then returned his gaze to the manual. "Immediately, he photographed everything that he loves to make disappear. So, it's like a camera for pictures not filming; too bad. I wonder if he takes a picture of his ghost shit, 'cause ghost dookie vanishes, get it?" James smiled.
There wasn't anyone else there besides James. To whom he was speaking was as much a mystery as to where his friends had gone. Word was, Board James was a serial killer, a madman cutting the balls off his mates whenever they got tired of his shitty games.
"Unfortunately, the enchanted camera takes many photos in the wrong color. What? Sometimes, the green bottle is white; other times, it's blue. Looking at the photos, Balduin doesn't really remember what he wanted to make disappear next. Yeah, and I don't remember the last time I took a shit or what color it was. Guess I should've taken a picture...now that's a shitty picture."
Frowning so hard his lips curled down, James's eyes went wide as he nodded. "Can you help him with his haunting and quickly name the right piece, or even make it disappear by yourself?" He threw the red, chair, game piece into the corner. "It's gone, vanished, banished to the black hole of Uranus, " he asserted.
The game reviewer shook his head in consternation. Then, cracking the manual open, he perused the actual game rules.
"Ghost Blitz can be played in two different ways, Ghost Blitz Grab, and Ghost Blitz Shout. What's the difference? The set up for both games is the same.
"Place the pieces in a circle, shuffle the cards, the last one in the cellar goes first. What does that mean? I guess the last player to join the game draws a card first.
"So, you draw the card, and if on the card-which shows two pieces of varying colors-one of the pieces is the right color, the first person to grab it wins the round, and gets to keep the card as a reward, but has to return the piece, and the cycle continues. If none of the colors are right then someone has to grab a piece that's not shown on the card and isn't a color shown on the card. Okay?
"Finally, at the end, the player with the most cards in the reward pile is the winner, but if someone grabs the wrong piece, they have to give cards to the person who did grab the right piece...so, alright, it isn't too complicated, but I can't do this alone; time to call some friends."
James reached for the phone, but it was the Dream Phone, and his sourpuss contorted into a monster frown. His wide eyes bored holes through the pink toy, and he knocked it over with a backhand before grabbing his old school landline to dial. After punching in the numbers, the phone rang, followed by a voice.
"Hello?"
"Motherfucker Mike?"
"What's up, James?"
"Come over. It's time to play a game."
"Again?"
"Yes, again; it's always time to play a game, " James said, cryptically.
Sighing, Mike replied, "I don't know...last time we played a game, it didn't work out for anyone."
"C'mon, man, just get off your ass and come over!"
"Can I finish my Hot Pocket?"
"Fine!"
With that, James slammed the phone down. He shook his head in aggravation before coming to his feet. He then left the game room, passed by the basement sink, stopped with his back to it, turned slightly, and glanced at the wet Mr. Bucket toy.
Upstairs, he went to the kitchen to grab sodas and chips in preparation for Mike's arrival. "Why do they always gotta' give me shit? I just want to play a game. Isn't that what reminiscing over childhood is about? Playing games with friends, that's what it's about, and I had a great childhood; great parents, good friends, and every Friday, when the school week was over, all any kid wanted to do was immerse himself in games, forget the bullshit of class and homework, and just rot out the brain with mindless fun."
He paused after setting the chips and soda on the table. Removing his ball cap to run fingers through his hair, he set his jaw. There was that one time, though, that awful, dark day, that blackest of nights; I just wanted...I just wanted to play...Board James, the Game.
A knock at the door drew his attention. "Come in!"
Mike, a wiry man with poofy hair, entered the kitchen. "Hey, dude, what are we playin'?"
"You'll see. It's a scary game, " James nodded, stoically.
"I don't know if I like scary games."
"You'll like this scary game."
"It's not the Ouija Board is it?" there was a slight tremble in Mike's voice.
"No, it's not the Ouija Board!"
"Dream Phone?"
"No!"
"M-Mr. Bucket?"
"No! Damn it!"
"Mr. Bucket, fuck it!"
"Yeah, " James chortled. "C'mon, and grab the drinks."
From the kitchen, they marched back downstairs into the basement. Beyond the posters of scary movies, The Twilight Zone show poster, and video game banners, they sat on the ground beside the box for Ghost Blitz. Mike picked it up.
"Is this motherfucker drunk?"
"Right, " James asked.
"He looks like he's blitzed."
"That's what I said."
The door suddenly came open, and another man in a Toronto Blue Jays cap stuck his nose in. "Heya' fellas', what do we got today?"
"Bad Luck Bootsy!" the two others exclaimed in unison.
"We, uh, playin' a little Candy Land?"
"No one's fuckin' playin' Candy Land, " Mike replied.
"We never get to play Candy Land, " Bootsy frowned.
"You remember what happened last time we played, " James asked.
"Not really, " Bootsy mused, tapping his finger to his pouting, bottom lip. "Was that the time you bit my dick off with a shark?"
"Just sit the fuck down, " James started. "Shut the fuck up, and play some fuckin' Ghost Blitz."
"Ghost Blitz?" Bootsy took the lid of the box. "Is he drunk?"
"He's not fuckin' drunk, " James yelled.
"Gee willickers, James, you don't hafta' bite my fuckin' head off...again."
"It wasn't just the head last time, " Mike snickered.
"No, it was my whole, damned dick!"
James lowered his head and pinched the bridge of his nose.
"So, how do we play this Ghost Blitz, " Mike asked.
Before James had a chance to answer, Bootsy shoved the ghost right up his asshole.
"That's not a butt plug, that's the ghost, " James reprimanded.
"Well, cheesers, cut a guy some slack, " Bootsy huffed and replaced the ghost with the rest of the pieces.
"Alright, " James began. "It's easy–"
"It says there's two ways to play, " Mike interrupted. "Ghost Blitz Grab and Ghost Blitz Shout."
"I'm getting to it, " James chuckled.
"I'm just wondering what the difference is, " Mike said.
"Me, too, " Bootsy added.
"I'm getting to it!" James barked. "Listen, both games are the same, but in Grab, you just grab the right piece."
"Which is the right piece?" Mike interjected.
"Is this the whole game, " Bootsy asked. "Candy Land has a board and everything."
"We're not playin' Candy Land, " the other two shouted.
"Damn it, you assholes, " James said. "Just listen; in Grab, you grab the right piece, either the piece on the card, or if the card doesn't show the right piece, you grab the piece that isn't shown, and the piece that isn't the color of a piece on the card. In Shout, it's the same, only you shout the piece you want, like, say, red chair!"
After a moment of arguing about the correct way to play the games, Bootsy readjusted his sitting position, and knocked over all the pieces with his shoe. "Bootsy, " they shouted.
While James set everything back up, Mike snuck a handful of cards from the deck into his pockets. Finally, they started the game. First, Bootsy drew a purple ghost sitting in a gray chair, and since none of those pieces were correct, James snatched the green bottle, replaced it, and kept the card. Then, Mike drew a card showing a gray ghost in a purple chair.
"What the fuck, it's just reversed, " he complained.
"I got it, " Bootsy shouted, and snatched the blue book.
A young dark elf mage is fed up with the limitations of the arcane art of enchanting and sets off on a quest to learn hidden truths. The Daedric Prince, Hermaus Mora, is attracted when the dunmer runs errands for Farengar Secret-Fire and sets the young mage off on a quest of his very own.
Thewls inform Humans of a looming threat. Lokians are a ravenous race of space bugs. They harvest technology from advanced civilizations and integrate with it to mass produce living ships, dangerous vanguards, and formidable legions. Captain O'Hara of Phoenix Crew travels with Thewls to retrieve an ancient vessel from a mysterious race simply known as travelers.
A People Defiled is the tenth installment of The Adventures of Larson and Garrett. After the events in Stormguard, Larson and Garrett take work as mercenaries in order to infiltrate the city of Glenmoor and confront Minister Parish, the Dark One, himself. Unfortunately, the citizens of Glenmoor seem to be under some wicked spell and take up arms against the crew, resulting in a bloodbath.
The ninth installment of The Adventures of Larson and Garrett. Join the crew as they arrive in Stormguard, capitol of Ruvonia. They split up to glean information regarding Minister Parish, an evil figure bending the cult of White Wraith, and the nobility, to his whims. The crew fights back after some of their own fall to an ambush.
The eighth installment of The Adventures of Larson and Garrett. Crafty Garrett finds a way to contact the thieve's guild of Xorinth and purchases information regarding the murder of his friend and the attack on the libratoreum. Meanwhile, Larson and crew await further instructions from Detective Mathew. Once everyone reconvenes, they venture into the sewers in search of the White Wraith cult.
The dream of everyone with regards to marriage is to be able to find that special someone and settle down with them. Even arranged marriages grant you an opportunity to meet your partner briefly before the wedding. How will you feel about waking up in the morning with someone sleeping next to you who is not just anyone but your legally married partner yet with no memory of how that had happened in just a few hours of going out the previous day? This is the story of Jason Haward and Julia Harrison, two strangers trapped in a marriage they never planned. The quest to find out why led to the unfolding of a mystery which made them realize they are both living a lie. To find out more, read this amazing story of love, betrayal, revenge and murder.
Rena got into an entanglement with a big shot when she was drunk one night. She needed Waylen's help while he was drawn to her youthful beauty. As such, what was supposed to be a one-night stand progressed into something serious. All was well until Rena discovered that Waylen's heart belonged to another woman. When his first love returned, he stopped coming home, leaving Rena all alone for many nights. She put up with it until she received a check and farewell note one day. Contrary to how Waylen expected her to react, Rena had a smile on her face as she bid him farewell. "It was fun while it lasted, Waylen. May our paths never cross. Have a nice life." But as fate would have it, their paths crossed again. This time, Rena had another man by her side. Waylen's eyes burned with jealousy. He spat, "How the hell did you move on? I thought you loved only me!" "Keyword, loved!" Rena flipped her hair back and retorted, "There are plenty of fish in the sea, Waylen. Besides, you were the one who asked for a breakup. Now, if you want to date me, you have to wait in line." The next day, Rena received a credit alert of billions and a diamond ring. Waylen appeared again, got down on one knee, and uttered, "May I cut in line, Rena? I still want you."
There was only one man in Raegan's heart, and it was Mitchel. In the second year of her marriage to him, she got pregnant. Raegan's joy knew no bounds. But before she could break the news to her husband, he served her divorce papers because he wanted to marry his first love. After an accident, Raegan lay in the pool of her own blood and called out to Mitchel for help. Unfortunately, he left with his first love in his arms. Raegan escaped death by the whiskers. Afterward, she decided to get her life back on track. Her name was everywhere years later. Mitchel became very uncomfortable. For some reason, he began to miss her. His heart ached when he saw her all smiles with another man. He crashed her wedding and fell to his knees while she was at the altar. With bloodshot eyes, he queried, "I thought you said your love for me is unbreakable? How come you are getting married to someone else? Come back to me!"
Five years ago, he upped and left his wife without informing her. He had always felt unworthy. As a result, he decided to go and become a better man. It took him five whole years of daily hard work. When he was satisfied, he returned as a powerful and honorable man. He intended to start a family with his wife. But he got back to meet the greatest shocker of his life. He actually had a daughter!
Janet was adopted when she was a kid -- a dream come true for orphans. However, her life was anything but happy. Her adoptive mother taunted and bullied her all her life. Janet got the love and affection of a parent from the old maid who raised her. Unfortunately, the old woman fell ill, and Janet had to marry a worthless man in place of her parents' biological daughter to meet the maid's medical expenses. Could this be a Cinderella's tale? But the man was far from a prince, except for his handsome appearance. Ethan was the illegitimate son of a wealthy family who lived a reckless life and barely made ends meet. He got married to fulfill his mother's last wish. However, on his wedding night, he had an inkling that his wife was different from what he had heard about her. Fate had united the two people with deep secrets. Was Ethan truly the man we thought he was? Surprisingly, he bore an uncanny resemblance to the impenetrable wealthiest man in the city. Would he find out that Janet married him in place of her sister? Would their marriage be a romantic tale or an utter disaster? Read on to unravel Janet and Ethan's journey.
Madisyn was stunned to discover that she was not her parents' biological child. Due to the real daughter's scheming, she was kicked out and became a laughingstock. Thought to be born to peasants, Madisyn was shocked to find that her real father was the richest man in the city, and her brothers were renowned figures in their respective fields. They showered her with love, only to learn that Madisyn had a thriving business of her own. "Stop pestering me!" said her ex-boyfriend. "My heart only belongs to Jenna." "How dare you think that my woman has feelings for you?" claimed a mysterious bigwig.