An arranged marriage was never what I wanted but it seemed to be what life was dishing out to me, and to make it worse, my husband-to-be preferred women on the ...lighter side. And by the lighter side, I mean lighter side of the scale and skin color.
Pain.
Disgust.
Unloved.
These words explain what I have felt for so long it has become part of me.
The pain I feel each time I wake up, knowing that no one wants me, not even my parents give a shit about me.
The disgust I feel each time I look in the mirror and see what I look like. Fat. Ugly. Disgusting. The cellulite on my thighs, the stomach, the dark stretch marks on my hips and everything, the oversized breasts that surprisingly have no stretch marks, the fat are that looked like that of a heifer.
The love I craved for everyday but never got it. I never really had friends because upon being fat and black, I was socially awkward. Very awkward. It was difficult to strike up a conversation with someone and when someone does it or when I manage to do it, I can't maintain it. So I never had friends to listen to me or a shoulder to cry on when I couldn't hold it all in anymore or a friend to at least lie to me and say "You are pretty, you don't look as disgusting as you think you do."
My parents weren't ever there. My mum was a big shot model who never wanted a child because it would ruin her perfect figure. Yes. Upon being all gross and fat, I am an accident. So when she gave birth to me, she went back to her normal life until cancer claimed her when I was 9. My dad, yeah. Another person that saw me as a mistake. He wasn't ready to be a dad when I was born but because he will need an heir in future, he didn't tell her to get rid of it or anything but he didn't want any more accidents, so he told my mum to do something to prevent further accidents, thus she tied her tubes. They didn't want me, never did. So they never cared enough to check if I ate, if I stayed out till 3 am, if I didn't even come back at all. I was just there in their uselessly big mansion which they used to show off, which never felt like home, which looked more like a museum (which was definitely not childproofed) than a home.
I hated mirrors so much, they showed me what I felt everyday. How heavy I am. I have tried a lot of times to lose weight but after each attempt, I got more depressed and went back to eating almost more because after working out for a while, who doesn't get angry when she doesn't see results?
Did it hurt? Yes. Did I stop eating? No. Did I get bigger? Hell Yes!!
Most times, whenever I see people celebrating their birthdays, I can't help but wonder what it feels like to do that. Yes, in case you are wondering, I have never ever celebrated my birthday. Today being one of those days, I am, as usual holed up in my room and thinking about my life and crying my eyes out. In all my 19 years on earth, my birthday has never been celebrated because uhm hellooo. Have you met my parents? But it's all good though. I plan on making my next birthday a memorable one, one I won't forget anytime soon, have all the fun in the world, love myself and stuff like that.
My name is Danica Maya Roberts. I'm 19 years dark skinned black girl and yeah, probably the biggest and most insecure black girl of them all.
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"Miss Maya, your father requests your presence in his office." Mr Howard said through my room door. Mr Howard is the butler and has been with us since as far back as I can remember. He is a greying old man with the cutest granddaughter, Angel, who was the apple of his eyes. I smoothed my hands down my sweater which was big and mid thigh length. I put on my slippers, hoping that maybe he remembered it was my birthday. The sad thing is, even though I knew my parents, I still couldn't help but hope each year that maybe they'd remember my birthday. Up until my mum died, I kept hoping. Last year, I hoped. Every other year, I really hoped.
I knocked and patiently waited for him to invite me in. When I heard the distant "Come in", I walked in. There he was, the king sitting on his iron throne and reading the paper as he usually does all morning while sipping coffee. At 47, he didn't really look a day older than he did when he was 45.
" Good morning Sir." I said while I waited for him to acknowledge my presence. I was always awkward around him because I didn't know how to react around him. When I was 4, my mother had strictly said I shouldn't call her mum or mummy or mother or mama since it made her feel old. Just her name. My father hadn't said anything and so, I didn't know what to call him. So I just stuck with Sir since that's what the workers call him.
"Maya how are you today?" He replied. Was he really interested? I didn't think so. It was probably just for formalities sake.
"I'm fine, thank you. I believe you are in good health." I replied. Such formal stuck up conversation between father and daughter.
"Yes I am, thank you for asking. I called you in here to let you know that there will be a marriage between you and Mrs. Amanda James' son, Keith."
I blinked once, twice, thrice. "Sir?"
"The wedding is scheduled to hold a week from today. Everything is already taken care of, all you have to do is show up."
"I don't understand."
"I am not speaking French Maya. I am expanding the business and it's a sort of partnership."
"But I don't want any of that."
"We don't want a lot of what we get in life Maya. You are my heir, but you can't handle the business. I am not only expanding it but I'm also securing it. This business has been in this family for 3 generations and I will not let it fold up in my hands."
"But I am just 19. I'm not yet ready to do this."
"I wasn't ready to be a parent when you came Maya. Life happens, you just have to move on. It will be a court marriage and unfortunately, I won't be around on that day, so it will be just you and Keith in there exchanging your vows. Here's a copy of the contract, go through it whenever you want to." He completed as though there was nothing wrong with what he said.
I didn't say anything except take the document from him and then left. I refused to cry in front of him. But immediately my hand touched my door nub, the first tear dropped, and then the second and third and then the dam broke free.
I hated my life, I hated myself for being so weak I couldn't even stand up against my own father, I hated the fact that people pushed me around and I didn't do anything about it, I wished so much I was never born.
Iyana Garvey has had a hard life. A single mum who is focused on raising her daughter and keeping a roof over their heads, all she wanted was an honest paying job. She didn't expect the love at first sight that hit her the day she met the owner of the dog she'd just rescued who turned out to be her boss to be. Leo Harper is a man that seems perfect to the world but in reality, he's anything but. After years of dealing with lonelinesses and insecurities and hating himself for liking his best friend's wife, he was surprised when he caught himself wanting to do things with his secretary. So he makes a proposition to her. They spend 14 days together and get whatever it is they're feeling out of their systems and at the end of 14 days, they'd go back to being boss and employee again. Easier said than done, isn't it? Book 2 of the Unwanted Series
(Book 1 of the Blackwell Series) I had been forced to marry the guy that broke my heart, the one person that I hated, but never stopped loving. This is my first story, don't criticize it much.
I'm a Luna. After three years of marriage to Alpha Nathaniel Blackwood, I'm finally pregnant with his pup. But he's unclaimed me for his first love. I'm leaving the pack with this secret, praying he never finds out. Nathaniel Blackwood is a handsome, powerful Alpha. In a world where humans and werewolves coexist, he has it all: a billion-dollar empire, untold power, a massive pack, and, most importantly, the perfect Luna. But the return of his first love shattered our marriage. When he finds out the secret I've been hiding, will he regret rejecting me? Will I ever be able to forgive him? Dive into this gripping serialized novel to find out more-Enjoy the ride!
22-year-old Evelyn Carter is attempting to start over in California while avoiding her past. She will be embarking on a new career path as a private school teacher. She is smart, attractive, and doesn't put up with nonsense. Who wouldn't notice her? However, what happens when she attracts the attention of someone unwilling to let her go? Who wants her and nothing else after falling in love at first sight? A 25-year-old billionaire CEO and single father, Lucian Carrington. He takes what he wants and he is also a very dangerous man. All it needed was one look at a stunning woman to realize she was HIS, even though he doesn't believe in relationships because they always end. Preview: Miss Carter, you will be mine. I say firmly. "Release my arm, Mr. Carrington, before I force you to." She says, seeming to smile at me. I give her a sly smile. Squeezing my wrist with her other hand, she twists it uncomfortably. I gave a painful hiss. "Don't underestimate me, Mr. Carrington." "This is the only time I will allow you to walk away from me, Miss Carter." She glared at me as she turned. "Mr. Carrington, I am no possession of yours." I was left standing there when she opened the classroom door and left.
Belinda thought after divorce, they would part ways for good - he could live his life on his own terms, while she could indulge in the rest of hers. However, fate had other plans in store. "My darling, I was wrong. Would you please come back to me?" The man, whom she once loved deeply, lowered his once proud head humbly. "I beg you to return to me." Belinda coldly pushed away the bouquet of flowers he had offered her and coolly replied, "It's too late. The bridge has been burned, and the ashes have long since scattered to the wind!"
Kallie, a mute who had been ignored by her husband for five years since their wedding, also suffered the loss of her pregnancy due to her cruel mother-in-law. After the divorce, she learned that her ex-husband had quickly gotten engaged to the woman he truly loved. Holding her slightly rounded belly, she realized that he had never really cared for her. Determined, she left him behind, treating him as a stranger. Yet, after she left, he scoured the globe in search of her. When their paths crossed once more, Kallie had already found new happiness. For the first time, he pleaded humbly, "Please don't leave me..." But Kallie's response was firm and dismissive, cutting through any lingering ties. "Get lost!"
Warning! Mature Contents! ***Excerpt*** "You belong to me, Sheila. I alone am capable of making you feel this way. Your moans and body belong to me. Your soul and your body are all mine!" *** Alpha Killian Reid, the most dreaded Alpha in all of the North, wealthy, powerful and widely feared in the supernatural world, was the envy of all other packs. He was thought to have it all... power, fame, wealth and favour from the moon goddess, little was it known to his rivals that he has been under a curse, which has been kept a secret for so many years, and only the one with the gift of the moon goddess can lift the curse. Sheila, the daughter of Alpha Lucius who was an arch enemy to Killian, had grown up with so much hatred, detest and maltreatment from her father. She was the fated mate to Alpha Killian. He refused to reject her, yet he loathed her and treated her poorly, because he was in love with another woman, Thea. But one of these two women was the cure to his curse, while the other was an enemy within. How would he find out? Let's find out in this heart racing piece, filled with suspense, steamy romance and betrayal.
For three years, Shane and Yvonne were wed, sharing heated nights, while his devotion clung to his ex. Yvonne strove to be a dutiful wife, yet their marriage felt hollow, built on desire rather than real warmth. All changed when she became pregnant, only for Shane to thrust her onto the operating table, warning, “Either you or the baby survives!” Broken by his cruelty, she vanished in grief and later returned, radiantly accomplished, leaving everyone awestruck. Haunted by remorse, Shane begged for another chance, but Yvonne only smiled and replied, “I’m sorry, men no longer interest me.”
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