An arranged marriage was never what I wanted but it seemed to be what life was dishing out to me, and to make it worse, my husband-to-be preferred women on the ...lighter side. And by the lighter side, I mean lighter side of the scale and skin color.
Pain.
Disgust.
Unloved.
These words explain what I have felt for so long it has become part of me.
The pain I feel each time I wake up, knowing that no one wants me, not even my parents give a shit about me.
The disgust I feel each time I look in the mirror and see what I look like. Fat. Ugly. Disgusting. The cellulite on my thighs, the stomach, the dark stretch marks on my hips and everything, the oversized breasts that surprisingly have no stretch marks, the fat are that looked like that of a heifer.
The love I craved for everyday but never got it. I never really had friends because upon being fat and black, I was socially awkward. Very awkward. It was difficult to strike up a conversation with someone and when someone does it or when I manage to do it, I can't maintain it. So I never had friends to listen to me or a shoulder to cry on when I couldn't hold it all in anymore or a friend to at least lie to me and say "You are pretty, you don't look as disgusting as you think you do."
My parents weren't ever there. My mum was a big shot model who never wanted a child because it would ruin her perfect figure. Yes. Upon being all gross and fat, I am an accident. So when she gave birth to me, she went back to her normal life until cancer claimed her when I was 9. My dad, yeah. Another person that saw me as a mistake. He wasn't ready to be a dad when I was born but because he will need an heir in future, he didn't tell her to get rid of it or anything but he didn't want any more accidents, so he told my mum to do something to prevent further accidents, thus she tied her tubes. They didn't want me, never did. So they never cared enough to check if I ate, if I stayed out till 3 am, if I didn't even come back at all. I was just there in their uselessly big mansion which they used to show off, which never felt like home, which looked more like a museum (which was definitely not childproofed) than a home.
I hated mirrors so much, they showed me what I felt everyday. How heavy I am. I have tried a lot of times to lose weight but after each attempt, I got more depressed and went back to eating almost more because after working out for a while, who doesn't get angry when she doesn't see results?
Did it hurt? Yes. Did I stop eating? No. Did I get bigger? Hell Yes!!
Most times, whenever I see people celebrating their birthdays, I can't help but wonder what it feels like to do that. Yes, in case you are wondering, I have never ever celebrated my birthday. Today being one of those days, I am, as usual holed up in my room and thinking about my life and crying my eyes out. In all my 19 years on earth, my birthday has never been celebrated because uhm hellooo. Have you met my parents? But it's all good though. I plan on making my next birthday a memorable one, one I won't forget anytime soon, have all the fun in the world, love myself and stuff like that.
My name is Danica Maya Roberts. I'm 19 years dark skinned black girl and yeah, probably the biggest and most insecure black girl of them all.
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"Miss Maya, your father requests your presence in his office." Mr Howard said through my room door. Mr Howard is the butler and has been with us since as far back as I can remember. He is a greying old man with the cutest granddaughter, Angel, who was the apple of his eyes. I smoothed my hands down my sweater which was big and mid thigh length. I put on my slippers, hoping that maybe he remembered it was my birthday. The sad thing is, even though I knew my parents, I still couldn't help but hope each year that maybe they'd remember my birthday. Up until my mum died, I kept hoping. Last year, I hoped. Every other year, I really hoped.
I knocked and patiently waited for him to invite me in. When I heard the distant "Come in", I walked in. There he was, the king sitting on his iron throne and reading the paper as he usually does all morning while sipping coffee. At 47, he didn't really look a day older than he did when he was 45.
" Good morning Sir." I said while I waited for him to acknowledge my presence. I was always awkward around him because I didn't know how to react around him. When I was 4, my mother had strictly said I shouldn't call her mum or mummy or mother or mama since it made her feel old. Just her name. My father hadn't said anything and so, I didn't know what to call him. So I just stuck with Sir since that's what the workers call him.
"Maya how are you today?" He replied. Was he really interested? I didn't think so. It was probably just for formalities sake.
"I'm fine, thank you. I believe you are in good health." I replied. Such formal stuck up conversation between father and daughter.
"Yes I am, thank you for asking. I called you in here to let you know that there will be a marriage between you and Mrs. Amanda James' son, Keith."
I blinked once, twice, thrice. "Sir?"
"The wedding is scheduled to hold a week from today. Everything is already taken care of, all you have to do is show up."
"I don't understand."
"I am not speaking French Maya. I am expanding the business and it's a sort of partnership."
"But I don't want any of that."
"We don't want a lot of what we get in life Maya. You are my heir, but you can't handle the business. I am not only expanding it but I'm also securing it. This business has been in this family for 3 generations and I will not let it fold up in my hands."
"But I am just 19. I'm not yet ready to do this."
"I wasn't ready to be a parent when you came Maya. Life happens, you just have to move on. It will be a court marriage and unfortunately, I won't be around on that day, so it will be just you and Keith in there exchanging your vows. Here's a copy of the contract, go through it whenever you want to." He completed as though there was nothing wrong with what he said.
I didn't say anything except take the document from him and then left. I refused to cry in front of him. But immediately my hand touched my door nub, the first tear dropped, and then the second and third and then the dam broke free.
I hated my life, I hated myself for being so weak I couldn't even stand up against my own father, I hated the fact that people pushed me around and I didn't do anything about it, I wished so much I was never born.
Iyana Garvey has had a hard life. A single mum who is focused on raising her daughter and keeping a roof over their heads, all she wanted was an honest paying job. She didn't expect the love at first sight that hit her the day she met the owner of the dog she'd just rescued who turned out to be her boss to be. Leo Harper is a man that seems perfect to the world but in reality, he's anything but. After years of dealing with lonelinesses and insecurities and hating himself for liking his best friend's wife, he was surprised when he caught himself wanting to do things with his secretary. So he makes a proposition to her. They spend 14 days together and get whatever it is they're feeling out of their systems and at the end of 14 days, they'd go back to being boss and employee again. Easier said than done, isn't it? Book 2 of the Unwanted Series
(Book 1 of the Blackwell Series) I had been forced to marry the guy that broke my heart, the one person that I hated, but never stopped loving. This is my first story, don't criticize it much.
Rachel used to think that her devotion would win Brian over one day, but she was proven wrong when his true love returned. Rachel had endured it all—from standing alone at the altar to dragging herself to the hospital for an emergency treatment. Everyone thought she was crazy to give up so much of herself for someone who didn’t return her feelings. But when Brian received news of Rachel’s terminal illness and realized she didn’t have long to live, he completely broke down. "I forbid you to die!" Rachel just smiled. She no longer needed him. "I will finally be free."
Joelle thought she could change Adrian's heart after three years of marriage, but she realized too late that it already belonged to another woman. "Give me a baby, and I'll set you free." The day Joelle went into labor, Adrian was traveling with his mistress on his private jet. "I don't care whom you love. My debt is paid. From now on, we have nothing to do with each other." Not long after Joelle left, Adrian found himself begging on his knees. "Please come back to me."
"I stood at the edge of my heart and watched him choose her. In the end, I was not the one he needed. I was simply the one he settled for." - Noelle ~~~~~~~ I thought I was the one he loved. But a few days before our wedding, I saw him in a way I never had before. His eyes softened as he spoke to her. His first love, and the very woman who had left him in pieces. Heartbreak was something I knew too well. And as I watched the love he still held for her in his eyes, I realized what I had to do. I couldn't marry a man who wasn't truly mine. With no means to cancel the wedding and lacking the courage to confront him, I made a desperate choice to leave. I painfully gave his first love my treasured engagement ring thinking it was for the best and the only way to free myself. But when he saw that ring on her finger, the fragile world I had tried to escape began to shatter. His obsession to find me and bring me back ignited a dangerous game of cat and mouse.
Darya spent three years loving Micah, worshipping the ground he walked on. Until his neglect and his family's abuse finally woke her up to the ugly truth-he doesn't love her. Never did, never will. To her, he is a hero, her knight in shining armour. To him, she is an opportunist, a gold digger who schemed her way into his life. Darya accepts the harsh reality, gathers the shattered pieces of her dignity, divorces him, takes back her real name, reclaims her title as the country's youngest billionaire heiress. Their paths cross again at a party. Micah watches his ex-wife sing like an angel, tear up the dance floor, then thwart a lecher with a roundhouse kick. He realises, belatedly, that she's exactly the kind of woman he'd want to marry, if only he had taken the trouble to get to know her. Micah acts promptly to win her back, but discovers she's now surrounded by eligible bachelors: high-powered CEO, genius biochemist, award-winning singer, reformed playboy. Worse, she makes it pretty clear that she's done with him. Micah gears up for an uphill battle. He must prove to her he's still worthy of her love before she falls for someone else. And time is running out.
June Rivera was divorced by her husband after three years of marriage because he wanted to be with her sister who was pregnant for him. Kicked to the curb with a divorce and rejected by her parents,she struggles to make ends meet and get a job until she saves Luis Ambrose from an accident - the only child of Rafael Ambrose, a widowed man and the CEO of Ambrose Corporation. When little Luis asks to have her as a nanny, and Rafael's mother pressures him to get married, they draw a contract. To be Luis's nanny and his fake wife for one year in exchange for 50 million dollars!
"Mr. Evans, please maintain some dignity. Don't forget I'm your brother's wife!" Having caught her husband and best friend together in the bed, Elena wanted nothing more than to exact revenge on the people she once called family. She refused to be a pitiful divorcee and vowed to make everyone who had once looked down on her beg for forgiveness. And to start with her newfound freedom, Elena indulges in a one-night stand with a stranger. However, what was meant to be a fleeting escape turns into a nightmare when she learns that the stranger is none other than her husband's older brother! Would Elena be free from the shackles of her marriage? Or would the mysterious stranger make her life a living hell since he seemed to have a personal vendetta against his family? [The story is 18+ and involves mature content.]