Disgraceful

Peering through the blurred carriage window, Ava Sofia lost in her restless mind with the scenery flying by. The dark had softened to blue and the silvery mist appeared, soon the shimmering rays would rise from the horizon, bringing her a new day she never expected, yet she had to survive. Fate had its way of changing life in an instant. Her life had turned upside down in a matter of days. Not a week ago, she was a glowing bride-to-be, eagerly awaiting a new chapter of her life. She thought her happily ever after was about to begin. Now she was an anxious runaway.

Surely a new chapter of life was on the way to come. But not in a way that she always imagined. It was not the first time things didn't come out as she expected, and not the first time the ugly truth was revealed to her. In her early years, life was just perfect. As a child, she had grown in the warmth of a family, been loved and pampered like a princess. With a loving and caring mother, a high-spirited sister that kept boredom away, and the most generous father. Their family was wealthy, they lived in a big farmhouse in Roseville. She always thought her father was a merchant, since he didn't stay with them and always on trip. He came home twice a month in the weekend, bringing her and her sister, Delilah a lot of expensive gifts. She remembered racing with Del along the corridor everytime father came home, to get to kiss him first. She remembered staring at their parents kissing tenderly and dreaming one day she would have a blissful marriage like them. She remembered having dinner together with her family, talking and laughing, sometimes fighting with Del. Those were the days. Before the bitter reality revealed to her. She would forever cherish the golden memories. At fourteen she found out the truth. One day, a neighbour invited her to join a short trip to London. She went to London along with her maid. She was fascinated with the glam of the city. Strolling around Bond Street, she was overexcited to see all the fancy shops. When she was passing by a trendy restaurant, she saw him. Her father, with two girls about her age, and an elegant lady. They were having lunch, talking and laughing. His father looked at the girls with loving eyes and a proud smile just like he did to her and Delilah. The sight plagued her and puzzled her the following days. Father came and went as usual, like nothing had happened. She knew something was wrong, but she could not bring herself to ask to him or mother. Time passed by and slowly, gradually, she began to understand. Her family was not like what she always thought. Her father was not a merchant, he was a nobleman. Not just another nobleman, he was a bloody duke, the highest rank among nobility. And her mother was his mistress. They never got married. As a matter of fact, she was a bastard. A child born out of wedlock. Later she knew that her mother, Desiree Marlowe was a legendary actress in her younger days, before she retired and settled with the duke. One by one the layers of truth unraveled. Her grandmother and great grandmother were also mistresses. It was like a curse that lived and passed through generations, in the same time they didn't have any male offspring. She didn't want to follow the path. Never, under any circumstances. But she knew it would be difficult, if not impossible, to break the chain. No man of a respectable background would ever be willing to marry a woman like her. In every culture, a bastard was a pariah, the lowest of the low in society. Maybe the only choice left was to be a spinster. She knew she wouldn't be happy to live a life like that. She was a hopeless romantic. She was always dreaming of finding her prince charming since she was a little girl. However, Del seemed like being able to take it better than her. Like she once told her, there were always two sides in a coin. Their situation had its own advantage. To allow her to live in total freedom, not dictated by society rules. To experience anything that was impossible for a respectable woman. As they grew into womanhood, she had became wilder from time to time. She left their quiet hometown to pursue her dream in London. With her bold personality, soon she became famous, or maybe infamous would be an accurate choice of words. Shortly she gained her reputation as a woman libertine and instead of being discreet about her lifestyle, she was very open and proud about it. Always a free spirit, now she was traveling over the world, Ava heard she was somewhere on the desert, far away in the exotic Middle East. Being aware of her nerves, mother talked to her one night in her bed. "Sweetie, I understand what you're feeling... It must be difficult to you, but I want to tell you something." She caressed her hair. "What I have with your father, I won't exchange it with anything in the world. I won't exchange it with a proper marriage either with any other man." "I have all I need, my dear. Your father, Del, and you. And I'm grateful every single day. What does a marriage mean if there's no love between the couple? What is a piece of paper worth when the passion for benefit is bigger than the passion for each other? What is a wedding vow if you don't really mean it? It means nothing, sweetheart. Your father and I, we are husband and wife in every way that truly matters. I love him with all my heart just the way he is. I wouldn't have him any other way." "But it's not enough, mother." She sat on the bed. She couldn't believe her mother would say such selfish, romantic nonsense without considering any consequences that her children might suffer. "I don't want my children to be called bastard. I don't want to live a lie, I don't want to be hidden in some place where people do not know who I am, what I truly am and pretending to be something I'm not. "Life is too short to worry about such matters, my dear. I don't care about the people, I have learned to live only for the people who really matters. What matters most to me is our happiness..." She bit back a tart reply. Our happiness. How easy for her to simplify this. How could she ever be happy to know that she had very little choices for her future? That a proper and rightful life was out of reach? Was her mother so blind to recognize the impact or her wrongdoing to her children. "There are circumstances I can not change, dear... I wish things could be different, but life doesn't work that way. I'm thankful that I knew what I wanted the most, and I took the chance." Her mother rose from the bed, walking to the door. She turned back once again before leaving. "It had taken me all my life to discover this. Be content with what you have, and what you can have. Don't ask for too much, my dear, otherwise you'll lose your only chance." Although mother seemed to convince her that a life like hers was not bad indeed, somehow she understood Ava's tribulation. A mother would do anything within her reach to make her child happy, she was no exception. One day when he was home, father called her to his study. Ava came and saw him behind the mahogany desk, smiling bright at her. "I have good news for you, darling. Come here, have a seat." As she settled in a couch, he continued. "I have found you an excellent match, my dear. I have just settled things up this morning. You are going to marry, in a few months." Surprised and excited, her eyes widened. "What? But... how??" "It's a marriage arrangement, darling." Her mother entered the room and joined her on the couch. "It's been approved. Your father and your future husband signed the contract this morning." "His name is Roger Irving. The honourable Roger Patrick William Irving in full name. He is the son of Earl of Berwick." "Second son, actually. I hope you don't mind that he couldn't make you a countess. But you'll love him at once. He is young and handsome, and amiable as well." Her mother gave her a teasing glance. "How... how old is he?" She managed to keep her voice from shaking as her heart racing in excitement. "Twenty eight and very good looking indeed." His father smiled in assurance. "Be prepared to be jealous, my dear. I've seen ladies fawning over him at a ball for the entire night." He teased her. "And be prepared to get their jealousy as well," her mother replied "for the man they're after is yours now." "Do you want to see him?" Father asked. Blushing, she nodded. "Good. Lord Roger has invited us to visit his London residence next week, so we're going to have a trip, the three of us together." The next few days became very busy and hectic preparing her departure to London. Desiree ordered no less than twenty new gowns for her, determined to make a strong first impression. They are going to spend all of a month in London. By the end of the week, they were leaving. She was glad for the pleasant journey. They stayed for a night in father's fancy townhouse, and now the day that she'd been waiting for the whole week had come. They arrived at Irving House on time at four o'clock in the afternoon. It was a classical building with high ceilings and big pillars. A butler opened the main door for them and led them to a large guest room with a magnificent view to the garden. They were sitting on a beautiful velvet upholstery. With each passing second, she became more nervous. She was going to meet her future husband. "Ava, dear" her mother rose from the couch. "Let's have a better look of the garden. It's splendid." Grateful for the distraction, she followed her to the window. Bathed in the warm afternoon sunlight, the garden looked marvelous. "Good afternoon, Your Grace, my ladies." called a deep masculine voice from behind. From the corner of her eye, she saw mother turning. Ava took a deep breath before slowly turned to meet him. A man she was going to spend the rest of her life with. He was charming. Just like father and mother said, he was young and handsome. He was about average height, likely a fair inches taller than her, very well dressed, she had never seen a stylish man like him in the countryside. His face glowing when he smiled. He certainly had his attractions. Yet she noticed shades of dark circles under his eyes and subtle signs of tiredness. The formal introduction followed and Lord Roger had no difficulty to charm them with his appealing personality. He greeted her with utter respect, not lingering his gaze to her longer than proper. He lit up the room with his laughter, made mother blush with his generous compliments. The entire night was delightful, she enjoyed the dinner and the conversation very much. Glancing at Lord Roger secretly when he was explaining something to her parents, an inevitable thought occurred to her. This was too good to be true. What made a man like him, a nobleman at his best, young, handsome, unquestionably honorable, and a smart conversationalist as well, would be willing to marry her, an illegitimate daughter. Surely it would make a scandal. Did his parents know about it? The Earl of Berwick and his wife. Did they agree without any resistance? Did they give him their blessing? Looking at mother listening to him with great enthusiasm, she wondered how could a nobility let a courtesan like her set foot in his residence. She was certain Lord Roger knew very well her mother was not the Duchess of Livingston. How could he accept this arrangement? There must be a significant reason behind it. She found out the answer a few days later. In every household, the servants were the best source of information. With the help of Polly, her loyal maid, and her best friend as well, it didn't took long to get the complete details. Lord Roger was in a desperate financial straits. His fondness of drinking and gambling had led him to bankruptcy, even worse, it had drowned him to an unaffordable sum of debts. The Earl refused to pay his son's debt, and his impatient creditors were already pushing him to the edge. At critical time, her father came and offered him a bargain. Marry his illegitimate daughter and he would pay his debts, along with an inconsiderable dowry and a generous allowance afterward. Thus far, her father had paid half of the debt to each creditor, the remainings will be settled after the marriage. So, the man was going to marry her for money. "He has ... weaknesses, darling. All men have their weaknesses." Her father said when she confirmed it to him. "Nobody's perfect. But I've been observing him for months before I decided to make the proposition." Father thought for a moment before continuing. "He is reckless and spendthrift, and he has fallen to an unpleasant habit. But I found that he is nice and harmless. He's not a man who will hurt you. He is still young and stupid now, but I'm certain that he will grow up over time." Father grinned. "Believe me I was three times worse than him when I was his age. But I've grown up to be a man that I am now." Unpleasant habit? Father made it sounded like a small, unimportant thing. The habit had dragged the man into an uncompromising situation and changed his life drastically. Had he never thrown himself into such a mess, he would marry a decent lady. On the other hand, his recklessness had been used to his father's advantage, or precisely, to her advantage. However, what seemed impossible before, was within her reach now. A proper and rightful marriage, a respectable life. And he was young and handsome indeed, much to her liking. It would be perfect if he was mature and sensible as well. But nobody's perfect. If he were to choose, he would also prefer a noble beauty than a scandalous chit like her. He had accepted her flaws. Likewise, she should accept his. It was a mutual solution for their situation. Now, all she could do was pray the marriage of convenience would turn to a long lasting love. Her mild distate for her betrothed vanished with each passing day. He had been gentle and caring, he made her blushed and laughed. He told her the most interesting stories. He brought her to the house parties, introduced her to the nobility as his fiancee. She never thought she would be able to attend such glamorous party. Soon she learned that most of the aristocrats were having excessive pride of theirself, feeling superior to those who were not in their circle. Fortunately Roger was a delightful companion and she enjoyed every minute with him. She put a great expectations that their relationship would grow into love. One day, he surprised her with proposing her. They were at a lady's house party and Ava brought her maid, but she told her maid to wait inside as he walked her out onto the balcony to get some private space. "I know our marriage has been arranged." He covered her hand with his. "But you deserve to be proposed the right way." He kneeled before her and reached inside his pocket, pulling out a little velvet box. Slowly he opened the box. A beautiful ruby ring. "Ava Sofia Marlowe, will you marry me?" Never experienced something close to this, she was at a loss of words. Blushing, she nodded awkwardly. He bestowed her a dazzling smile and slided the ring to her finger. He rose and tilted her chin, then brought his mouth to hers. It was her first kiss, beneath the shimmering golden sky at sunset. It was nice. Not breathtaking and magical like she used to read in romance novels. But it was nice. He had stolen a few kisses ever since, in a rare, short moment when they were alone. Her parents never allowed her to be alone with him. After a few weeks, finally her parents allowed her to go to a house party alone with him. Her mother had known she was developing some feeling for him and she decided to give them some space. Roger had the permittion to pick her up. His coach arrived at six o' clock and Ava rushed downstairs. Passing the large cheval mirror in the hallway, she caught a glimpse of herself in the mirror and saw a gorgeous woman staring back at her. Entirely happy with her look, she couldn't help smiling to her reflection. The beauty of the women in her family had been legendary, and she was told many times that she was the fairest. Everywhere she went, people stopped and stared. The appreciation had been so commonplace sometimes it went unnoticed. Walking to the main door, she saw Roger speaking to her mother outside. His eyes glittering with admiration when he met her gaze. "You are very beautiful, my dear. You always are." He said as he took her hand. "But tonight, you're truly a vision." "Enjoy the party, darling." Mother winked at her and whispered to her ear. "I wish tonight will be unforgettable." Roger helped her into the coach and climbed in after her. The coach began to move. An odd silence fell between them. Ava turned her face from his, stared at the lavish interior before her, trying to find some words, anything to start a conversation. She had never been with him alone before, and she was anticipating this moment the whole day. But now, it felt ... awkward. Finally braced herself to gaze at him, she caught him looking at her intently from the opposite seat. There was something different with him tonight. It wasn't the way he used to be; relaxed, warm, and friendly. The way he looked at her, the gleam in his eyes, the way one corner of his mouth hitched up slighty like he was smiling. In the dimly illuminated light in the carriage, his expression looked unfamiliar and wicked. Suddenly she felt uncomfortable. "What a sight you are" he murmured, finally broke the silence. "So lovely, I've never met a woman as lovely as you are." His gaze slid down to the exposed skin above her decolletage, lower to her breasts, and she felt the hair on her nape rose. He moved to her side. Despite the large available space, he sat very close, his body crushed her. He stroked her jaw and turned her face to his. "I've been waiting for this forever." Then he settled his mouth on hers. Ava closed her eyes, anticipating his familiar kiss. Her eyes opened abruptly as he pushed her lips parted and slid his tongue inside. He wasn't sweet and tender this time. He was craving, demanding. His tongue twisted with hers and he sucked hard. She gasped as his hand stroked her thigh beneath her skirts. She shoved his hand away, but he insisted. Breathless, she tried to draw back but he slid one hand behind her and held her nape so tight. His free hand wandered to her breast, stroking and squeezing. With his tongue filled her mouth and his hand claimed her breast, Ava felt overwhelmed. Finally, she managed to break the kiss. "Roger..." she turned her face away, escaping from his kiss. Her hands pushed his chest in vain. "We must stop..." He laughed quietly, then kissed her jaw and made his way down to her neck. Suddenly the carriage stopped, seemed like they had arrived. Breathing in relief, she flew out of the carriage swiftly, not waiting for him to descend first and help her out. She couldn't abide a minute longer with him alone in the carriage. To her dismay, his touch and kisses were extremely unpleasant. Later, they were mingling with the other guests, greeting each other, having conversations. Roger had come back to his sociable nature, but Ava couldn't help thinking about their ride home later. She should have brought Polly with them. Some male guests asked her for a dance and she accepted their invitations. Anything to keep her away from Roger. Confused with her feeling, she wished it was just because of her lacking of experience. Shortly after finishing the last dance, Roger took her elbow and led her away from the crowd. His hand grasped her waist possesively as they passed some men staring at her. "Are we going home now?" Her heart racing in anticipation. "Not yet, my pet" he replied without spared a glance at her. They reached a corridor with a row of doors in each sides. Randomly, he pushed one of the door open and thrusted her inside. It was a beautiful room with a set of basic furnitures. She heard the door closed behind her, instantly she turned to him. "Roger, what are you doing?" He drew her hand, throwing himself into the cushions as he hauled her to his lap. "Roger!" She cried in panic, before she could say another word, he pulled her head closer and captured her mouth savagely. She writhed and twisted against him to no avail. His hands grasped her plump buttocks and dragged her closer. She gasped as she felt his iron bulge pressed against the thin fabric of her undergarments. "I've been wanting to do this since the first time I laid my eyes on you." He whispered between their mingled breath, then he sought her mouth again. "No!" She tried to turn away but his hands clasped her face so tight. "Not now, Roger! We'll soon be married!" "So stop fighting me, love." He took her earlobe between his teeth in a teasing bite, licking and nibbling. "I'll marry you eventually, it doesn't make any difference if I take you by now." His hand slipped beneath her rumpled skirt and slid all the way up. She gasped when his fingers travelled further to the slit of her drawers. Slap! All in a sudden, he froze, his eyes opened wide as he stared at her with extreme disbelief. Ava covered her mouth in shock. She had slapped him so hard. He looked shocked. Shades of red colored his cheek where she had hit him. Suddenly feeling guilt and tenderness for him, she lifted her hand to caress his face. "Roger, I'm sorry... I..." Slap! The next second, she was pushed aside and pinned against the cushions. For a moment, her vision blurred as heat stung her face, he had smacked her harder. "Don't you dare do that to me again, you bitch!" He howled frantically, his voice screeching like a mad woman. "You want to play a lady? Pah!" He spat on her face. "You can't! And you'll never be. Even if I marry you. You'll always be a whore, like your mother, like your sister. Don't ever think I will treat you as an equal, you stupid bitch! I've lowered myself to the hilt by marrying you. My family and the people will despise me." He said the last few words in a bitter tone. "You and what comes with you were paid for with my honor and my dignity. I paid through the nose for a little mistake." He tugged at the low neckline of her gown roughly, pulling it down under her belly, exposing her naked breasts. She screamed in horror. "Well." He smirked, his eyes glinting with malice. "At least you're a good fuck." Then he bent down and claimed her mouth again. Ava struggled helplessly beneath his body as dread filled every fiber of her. He was going to rape her! And she thought he was a good man. God help her! She arched her neck to see the door across the room, hoping it would sway open and somebody came in. The armrest and a table lamp blocked her view. Her gesture made her neck exposed to Roger's mouth. He rained her neck with hot kisses and nibbled her delicate skin. Suddenly flooded by anger and disgust, her free hand reached a table lamp in the nightstand just above her head. Roger cursed loudly as the lamp hit his head very hard. He bent up straight and covered his face with his hands as blood flowing over his face. Ava crawled out of the couch swiftly and rushed to the door, her heart thumping madly in her chest. Her hands shaking uncontrollably as she pushed the door handle, sobbing in relief when the door clicked open. "You'll pay for it bitch!!!" Roger shouted behind her. "After I marry you, I swear I'll make you pay!!!" She ran along the corridor, startled an old couple on their way. She pulled up her messy gown higher to her chest. The old lady choked when she saw her appearance. The lady knew her, they had been introduced to each other once. She couldn't remember the lady's name but certainly the lady knew she was Lord Roger's betrothed. She didn't care, she had to get out of here. By sheer luck, a vacant hackney coach passed by as she ran out of the gate. She entered the coach quickly, turning back to see if Roger was chasing her. He wasn't. The sight of the house slowly disappeared as they reached the main road. She leaned her back to the seat, her body was quivering all over. As soon as she arrived at home, she ran upstairs, right to the main bedroom and pounded the door like crazy. "Ava! What are you doing? You're scaring me." The door opened and her mother appeared at the doorway. "You'll wake up all the servants and ..." "Mother!!!" She cut off, shouting. "Roger! He tried to rape me!!!" "What?" Desiree seemed confused. "He kissed me like a crazy animal, he forced me, he pinned me to the couch and... and..." heat rose to her cheeks when she continued "he tried to undress me, he almost has raped me!" "Calm down, my dear" her mother stopped her ravings. She turned to see father on the bed. He was still sleeping like a child. "No need to wake him up. He was very tired today." Desiree led her to her room and seated her upon the bed. "Darling, sometimes if a man does it to you in a different way... you know, the things between man and woman... kissing, caressing, fondling... it doesn't have to be sweet or gentle or tender..." mother paused, seemed like she was choosing her words carefully. "Some people like it slow and tender, some like it passionate and rough..." What the devil is mother talking about? "It's normal and quite common for a man to play the dominant in ... such private matters..." "Mother" she cut off again. "What are you trying to tell me?" Desiree sighed desperately. "Darling, you'll understand later in time. I know you're uncertain and confused now. It's not a thing you can comprehend overnight. You're so young and naive, and you never have a special friend before... it's a new thing for you. What I need to say to you is..." she stopped for a while. "Lord Roger didn't mean to hurt you. He did it simply because he really desired you, and it's normal. Men are really different from us, darling. They are more into physical things. You are such a beauty and I thought he was just too carried away." For a moment, Ava was totally speechless. The next second, she stood rightaway. "You are wrong, mother! He tried to rape me. He hit my face, he called me whore!" She was thinking to tell mother he insulted her too, and Del, but she didn't want to hurt her feeling. Mother looked surprised. "Did he?" "Yes, and it was not just rough... or passionate like you just said. It was horrible, and violent, and..." she tried to find the right word. "Totally evil." Desiree frowned at her last word and fell silent. Ava got a bad feeling that her mother didn't believe her. "Mother" she started to pace back and forth across the room. "You should believe me. I'm not that naive that I don't know the difference between forcing and seducing. You have no idea what I've undergone just now..." Finally, mother gave a reply. "We should tell your father. Tomorrow." Soon after mother left her room, Polly, her personal maid since she was twelve came to help her undress. She told her rightaway, Polly had been a loyal and caring maid, and also her best friend as well. She couldn't keep a secret from her. "Jeez!" Polly gasped in shock as she told her the details. "That man is totally an asshole!" Seemed like Polly trusted her more than her mother. "You must be very shocked. Do you want me to stay with you tonight?" Polly asked. Ava shook her head. "Thank you, Polly. I'm all right now. Go back to sleep." Ava tossed and turned all night, couldn't have an hour of sleep. The incident was flashing over and over again in her mind. She couldn't wait to tell father. Definitely he must beat Roger to a pulp. She drifted to slumber at the dawn out of exhaustion, but she woke up after three hours, rising from her bed instantly. The sun was already high. She rushed downstairs and saw her mother sitting on a couch admiring two big bouquets of flowers. "Good morning, sweetheart." Mother greeted her cheerfully. "Your fiance have sent you his apology. Look how beautiful this flowers are... they must be very expensive... and he sent another for me as well. How delightful of him!" "Mother!" She couldn't help screaming. "Don't you understand? That jerk has tried to rape me!" "Ava!" Her mother exclaimed. "Lower your voice, and never say that foul word again!" "Calm down, ladies." Father appeared at the stairway. "Ava, go have your breakfast now, we shall talk later. And you, darling, I need to talk to you in my study." Ava just opened her mouth to reply, but her father gave her an indisputable gaze. Her mother rose from the couch and followed him to the study. Certainly mother had told him. Restless, Ava forced herself to sit on the dining table. A maid served her breakfast. She managed to have a few bites, but shortly she left her meal unfinished and paced to the study. The door was slightly open and she overheard their conversation. "... don't believe it either. Roger is very gentle and polite. He won't do such a thing." Her mother's voice. "I believe she is making a reason to call it off. She has been reluctant since she found that Roger is marrying her for money." Desiree sighed. "That child and her romantic ideal. I'm afraid that it would disappoint her very badly someday. Nobody can have it all. We just have to deal with it. She wants a proper marriage and we've tried our best to fulfill her wish. Now she denies it because the man is not a perfect Prince Charming." "If she wants a proper marriage, it's her only chance. Nobody would ever be willing to marry her thereafter if she left Roger. It would be a terrible scandal." She stormed to the room, startled her parents. "Why you don't believe me? I've never lied to you both. I swear I'm not making reason, I'd been willing to marry him until last night..." Recalling the terrifying moment still made her shivered. "He is a beast! He was not just trying to rape me, he hit me on my face, he spat on me, he called me and mother and Del, whores!" "Enough!" His father snapped at her, Ava jolted in shock. Father had never been harsh to her. "You said he hit you on your face? He forced to undress you? Come here." Ava walked reluctantly toward her father. He grasped her chin and tilted her head up. "I don't see the slightest bit of bruise if he had hit you very hard." He said sharply. "And I had your dress checked. Had he tried to undress you in a violent way, it must have been shredded or torn at least." "But I'm not lying!!!" She shouted. A soft knock at the door interrupted in a sudden. Their gazes turned to the door. It slowly opened a little, the butler said awkwardly. "I'm sorry Your Grace, Lord Roger Irving is waiting to see you in the guest room." Desiree rose from her seat instantly and grasped her elbow. "He must come to see you. We shouldn't make him wait. Wear a pretty dress and style your hair, darling. You will accept his apology gracefully." Ava jerked her hand from her mother's grip. "I don't need to be pleasing to his eyes." "For God sakes, you want him to see you like this? In robes and slippers?" Mother exclaimed. "Obey your mother, young lady." His father glared at her. "You may very well dislike him, but in this house, you will show him minimal civility one has to offer an unwanted guest." Mother dragged her upstairs and had Polly dressed her and styled her hair. Looking at Ava's reflection in the mirror, mother looked satisfied. "Gorgeous. Thank you, Polly. You may leave now." That meant there was something she wanted to talk to her. As soon as the door closed, Desiree turned Ava to face her. "Listen, darling. I know what you're feeling now. It must be difficult for you to understand, especially when you've been sheltered from the world for all your life... I've been restrictive to you and your sister, because I don't want you both to experience what I had been through." "I know you don't want it either. You don't want to spend the rest of your life hidden in a strange place. Love itself is not enough for you. You aspire something bigger. You want a respectable life. That was what you said to me, wasn't it?" Desiree took her hands and held it in her lap. "This might be your only chance, darling. Promise me you'll accept his apology and not make a scene. Promise me you'll behave like a real lady." Behave like a real lady? She recalled all his words last night vividly. "You want to play a lady? You can't! And you'll never be." Anger burned inside as she paced to her father's study behind her mother. The butler opened the door for them and she saw Roger rightaway, sitting across her father. His head was bandaged. He turned and rose from his seat as soon as Ava and her mother walked in. "Good morning, my ladies. How wonderful to meet you." Roger showed his brilliant smile. "Glad to meet you too, my Lord" Desiree gave a symphatetic gaze at his condition and Roger took her hand, kissing it lightly with the utmost politeness. He moved to take Ava's hand as well but she stepped back hastily, avoiding his touch. Roger smirked. "I've had upset you so bad. Please accept my apology, my love." "Don't you dare touch me." She hissed, looking right into his eyes. How could she ever consider him a handsome man? His hypocrite face was extremely disgusting. "You want to play a gentleman? You can't! And you'll never be. You're just an insufferable parasite cad." "Ava!!!" Her mother screamed, almost hysterical. "Such a vulgar choice of words! Please accept our apology, my Lord." Ava took a great satisfaction to see his face darkened. He was strucked by her words as much as she was. Roger managed to smile. "There's no need, you have done nothing wrong, my lady." He responded to Desiree, giving her a reassuring gaze. "Ava" her father exclaimed. "I've heard from Roger about the incident last night. It was merely a misunderstanding. Roger didn't try to molest you." "Father! You trusted him over me, your own child? He is a liar!" "Ava! Hold your tongue! You... You're humiliating us!" Desiree was as pale as a plain paper. "There's a more important matter right now. Rumour has spread that you and Roger were caught in an uncompromising situation last night. Lord and Lady Crane testified that they saw you running from a room with disheveled appearance." Father glared at her. She remembered the old couple she passed by in the corridor. Why hasn't it occured to her before that there were witnesses to support her? "You see? I'm not lying. There are eye witnesses. He has done horrible things to me, he frightened me to death!" Ava turned to face Roger. "The witnesses will testify against you. Do you know what it means?" Ava was just about to say "Marriage is off" when she heard father said. "It means the marriage should be advanced. I will obtain a special license by the end of the week. You're going to be married in three days." "What?!!" Ava's eyes widened in great shock. "I'm looking forward to the days when you'll be mine, my sweet little love." Roger smiled at her. "Lucky me, I don't have to wait too long." "Never in a million years." Ava glowered at him. "You want to abuse me while you're leeching off my father at the same time, you bloodsucker asshole!" Something like anger flashing in his eyes though he managed to stay cool, Ava knew she had stung his pride. Had she pushed him more, maybe he would lose his temper like yesterday. If he struck her before her parents, they would finally find what sort of man he truly was. "Enough!" Father snarled like a wounded animal. "Another word from you, and I swear there will be consequences." Desiree rushed to her side and dragged her out swiftly. "Have a seat, Roger." The duke motioned to the couch as he sat back. "We have matters to discuss regarding the marriage."