Burning Emotions

CASSANDRA

~~~~~~~

To begin, I was never an attractive fellow, I was never your 'hot' or 'wild' type.

I was just Cassandra Thorne, with brown eyes and brown hair locks, twenty one by August, weighs twenty seven kilograms, height is 5'4 ft.

Yeah, that's the plain me.

I was raised in a very conserved home, my dad died when I was still tender, having my mom and Nana lecture me on good morals and characters to enable me be accepted by good people and, God.

I had finished my bachelor in Business administration few months ago, and believed with the help of a scholarship, I'll apply for graduate studies. But with my bashful and introverted lifestyle I hoped to teach in a reputable university.

I had alot planned out.

should I call it alot?

just some heres and theres would be perfect for me, no?

I would further my graduate studies and expand my knowledge while working in a good university.

Oh and....... One way or another come across a good professor just like me who shares the same love value and reputation as me. He'd be a believer of love, we'd fall slowly and deeply in love, and eventually marry, start our own family.

Ha ha, fairy tale right?

So here's the twist.

There will be no more fairy tale.

There will be no more reputable value.

There will be no more freaking fantasy.

You know why?

Because this girl of twenty one took a decision today.

One that swept my fantasy to the trash.

One that threw my fairy tale to the drain.

You know fate has its way of slapping you right in the face, and it gave me not just any slap but one that awake me from my fantasy.

One good thing about the slap was, a new me came forth, and a new decision too.

Tears flowed out my eyes as I recalled today's.............. Mind-blowing event.

~~~~~~~~~~~~

Music was my life.

Music and poetry.

And every other simple girly aesthetics, Just like I earlier said, Living a simple Life.

My Thirteen year old sister, Diane was still in school and everything seemed perfect as I was so lost In my Dreamworld of love when I heard a crashing sound from downstairs.

*Thud*

" Stella, you are not serious....Are you?"

I rushed out at my Nana's heartbreaking voice.

" Mom stop acting like this, you've been keeping me for too long now because of them." My mom's voice rang out.

Them? who was my mom talking about.

I stepped in only to find my Nana sobbing," Stella, Diane is too young for this, she is just Thirteen."

What the....

" Mom am leaving and it's final! look at me! I need a life too...... Am too young to shoulder all these."

Was mom........Leaving?

" You have me my child, you have been taking care of them so you shouldn't stop now, and not because of him!"

Him.

What was going on!

" Mum leave Abel out of this! He has nothing to do with this! This is all my decision and it's final." My mom took my Nana's hands and continued, " Mom I'm hurt too....... I don't want to leave but I have to..... it has been years since he left... years since he died...."

My mom was chocking on her words.... she was referring to my..... Dad?

" What about Diane? What about Cassandra? Don't you think of them?" My Nana's voice broke down into a consecutive sobs.

".... I have stayed with them patiently...I have mourned him enough mom... This is a time to make my own decision.This is a time to be free mom...... Am just forty Two .... Am too young for all these.....Cassandra is a grown woman now and she can take good care of herself and her sister....."

*Slap*

My Nana.... slapped my mom!

" shame on you Stella! shame on you! These children will grow without you. Will that make you happy?" my Nana was screaming with tears on her face.

And I was crying.

My mom was leaving..... But why?

" Mom, this is not going to change anything, am leaving the country and....." She picked her luggage and prepared to leave. " Am getting married to Abel."

I gasped.

My mom shot her gaze to my direction.

Before me, A Woman...... Who hardly resembled what I knew as a mom, stood.

My heart sunk.

And I gasped again as tears flowed from my face.

Mom barely looked recognizable.

Bile rose up to my throat.

Gone was her usual warm and gentle smile.

Gone was her peaceful and always cool look.

And gone was........All the tenderness she always looked at my sister and I with.

My mom was......... Lost.

She was........Gone.

A tear dropped down her face as she fixed her brown hazel with mine.

Mom was leaving....... Because of a...... Man?

She was leaving her family behind..... her world behind.

She was starting a new Life....... Outside of this she has created with us.

The woman who I've always looked up to....... The one who I've always admired..... The one who birthed me.....The one who nurtured me..... all because of...... A Man?

This is fate right?

This is fate mocking me right in the face.

This is fate laughing at my pretty messed up life.

My Mom thinks she has mourned my Dad enough.

She thinks she needed a life for herself.

My mom thinks am old enough to care for my siblings.

And that is what I am going to do.

I will Grant her The Life she wished.

I will show her how strong I am.

A tear dropped from her face as she snatched her gaze away from me.

" Am leaving Mom." She looked at me once again, " And am not coming back."

I cleaned my tear-filled face with the back of my palm and gave her a smile.

~~~~~~~~~~~

Fate Is A Bitch.

An ugly Bitch.

I won't blame him though, he taught me well.

Because It was at this moment, My will for a new me came.

My vows. My Rules.

I will Never Fall in Love.

Again.