THE BAD BOY'S HIT GIRL

"I met someone", those words were like a slap to my face through the phone. Seems like my long distance boyfriend-not-boyfriend Kayden just broke up with me."i....i don't.....know what to say" i reply, feeling numb with shock. "I'm sorry Nova but i'm tired. Not of you, i love you but i'm tired of the fact that i can't see you when i want to, i can't touch you, i can't kiss you, it's just hard lou it's hard.

I take deep breaths and say "i understand kay, if you want out it's fine, i can't force you to do any thing you don't want to" "you really understand?" "Yeah, it's cool". I hear him breathe a breath of relief and i involountarily smile to mysel. I take another deep breath to calm the tsunami of emotions swirling in me and ask "Soo, what's her name, age, attitude? Come on, give me the deets". He laughs over the phone and says " her names Catherine,16, she's smart, funny, witty, sarcastic. She's basically"......."me. She's basically me kay, .congratulations my friend for you have found my replacement. Well at least you won't miss me too much. Wait.......who the hell am I kidding, you won't miss me at all, replacement or not" I say, my voice having a hint of something I can't decipher. But I guess he could,(decipher it I mean) coz' the next thing he said was " Nova, I'm so sorry, I really I'm" "It's okay Kayden, I'm okay. I can take bit of rejection, don't you think?" "you don't sound okay Nova, are you-" "I'M I WHAT!! I'M I WHAT KAYDEN. I'm I fine? Did you break up with me just so I could hurt? Did you do it so you could see the weak side of me,the vulnerable side? I've shown you every side of me, I've told you everything about me, every secret and every pain I've been through. I told you when I self harmed,for God's sake I told you that I once had a friend with benefit, what girl fucking tells her boyfriend that but I DID, I FUCKING DID KAY".

I take another deep breath and realise that i just fucking yelled at Kayden. I palm my face and start stuttering apologies. I stop suddenly realizing that he is not saying anything,"Kay?" I call out and check my phone thinking he's hung up on me. He hasn't and before I could call out again he responds by saying "Wow" huh, has his brain jumped out the window? Who says "Wow" after a girl he just broke up with yells at him through the phone. I surprise myself and apparently him when I say "you really love her don't you?" I slap my hand on the phone speaker and whisper shout to my self " what the fuck!!!! Where'd that come from?" I ask my self before realizing that he's still on the phone. I wonder if he's said any thing,i put my phone back on my ear just in time to hear him say." What the hell do you mean?", to my dismay, i blurt out again "i mean your love for her has made you lose a few brain cells". Slapping my hand on my mouth, i mumble a quick sorry and as the madman he is fast becoming, he starts laughing and I'm like "what's so funny?" and he says "God, you're so funny" and i say "Huh, I'm freaking mad at you and you're calling me funny. Unbelievable" I scoff and that sobers him up. "Oh, you don't sound mad" "I seriously do not blame you, you're now so occupied with her issues that you've forgotten that i don't like to burden people with my problems. Including the ones who are the cause of my problems". I deadpan just so the atmosphere could ease up a bit, he chuckles and says for the umpteenth time "I'm sorry". I groan and say "If you say that again I'll make sure i get the number of your girl and make her shove a stick up your ass for me", he laughs and says "whatever Nova, i gotta go she's here for our date" "Wait!! What are we now? Friends, strangers, take your pick" he chuckles and says "Friends. We're friends, I don't think I could ever stop being your friend" " Great, soo pick up when I call?" "Absolutely" "Could i say this one more time" "Shoot" he says sounding like he already knows what I'm about to say "I love you" I say and hear him take a sharp breath "Not for long" he says sadly and hangs up. I slump back on my chair feeling sad and like i have this huge load on my chest, weighing me down, making my lungs burn with the absence of air in them.

I trudge upstairs to my room and lay down on my bed. As i go over everything in my head, two fat tears escape my eyes making a trail down to my chin betraying the words i've been chanting in my head to not cry. I wipe them off but more follow and soon i burst into full blown sobs. I curl into a ball and cry into the night before my eyelids finally close and i'm taken away by sleep.