Wild Love

"Certain animals, including snakes and spiders, have killed a lot of people throughout human history. Because doing so would provide them a survival advantage, some experts think that men and women may have evolved to carry this urge. According to some research, it's simpler to make people who don't seem to have any animal phobias dread snakes and spiders than it is to make them fear dogs or other "friendly" animals." I say, staring at the crowd of students.

"Despite the fact that they are not everyone's favorite feelings, fear and anxiety are essential for keeping us secure. If the dog down the street bites you, the terror that follows will help you avoid getting bitten again the next time you see the dog, but what if the reaction is excessive? Instead, if you start to dread all dogs, not just the one who bit you, your behavior could be significantly affected, which would be detrimental rather than helpful." I glance at my wrist watch.

"Shmuel Lissek, PhD, an associate professor of psychology in the Faculty of Liberal Arts, is particularly interested in this phenomenon-where anxiety alters our behavior even when there is no immediate threat. Lissek is the director of the Anxiety Neuroscience Grounded in cross-Species Translation (ANGST) Lab, which investigates how anxiety influences learning, memory, and decision-making in humans. His team's research can give insight on how to treat people with anxiety disorders, including post-traumatic stress disorder, and help identify where psychological states like fear and anxiety "happen" inside our brains (PTSD)."

"Here is what needs to be done. Write a seminar paper, not less than twenty five pages, with adequate referencing on the relationship between Fear and Psychology, tell me if it can be severed. Dazzle me. Class dismissed" I smile, watching as the students leave.

It is very rare to see a Professor, as young as I am. I am grateful for my privileges, but right now, I really can't wait to fall asleep on my big bed. I pack up my laptop, and and books, I mean it's me, I can't go anywhere without a novel. My phone rings and I smile "Hey baby"

At age 28, I'm supposed to be married, according to where I'm from, which is one of the reasons I love New York, I'm free here, I can do whatever I want, within reason. I am successful, accomplished and in love, what more do I want?

"Aurora" Cyprus says, and I feel his smile "Still at work?"

"Just concluded my last class. How about you?" I say, taking my bag as I walk out the hall.

"On my way to the Airport." He says, and I still.

"Where are you going? We have plans tonight." I say, frowning.

"I am sorry, baby. It's Mom, she needs me, her illness is acting up again, and no one is with her. If I leave now, I should get there by midnight." He says, and I hear the fatigue in his voice.

"It's alright, Cyprus. I keep telling you to take her to Los Angeles, let her stay with you, rather than flying to Romania twice a month." I say, getting out my car keys.

"She's stubborn, doesn't want to leave home. Thank you for understanding, Rora, I can't wait for you to meet her." He says, yawning, and I grin.

"I can't wait to meet her too. Let me know how it goes, yeah?"

"Of course. I love you."

"I love you too, bye." and the phone clicks. I feel a tad bit disappointed, but I love that he loves his Mom.

Cyprus and I met five years ago in Italy, I was on vacation and we crashed into eachother, my head was buried in a book, to my defense, It was Chimamanda Ngozi's Zikora, so I was enamored, then I saw Cyprus, it was love at first sight, we've being glued at the hips since then. It took a little while for him to open up to me, it wasn't hard to deduce that he had some unresolved childhood issues and psychological problems, but I helped him, and I was with him every step of the way.

One of the first things that drew me to him was his eyes, it was unnaturally yellow, so beautiful. I met him during my PhD program, I was stressed and depressed that year, so my best friend and I, took a spontaneous trip to Italy, spending all of our savings on expensive hotels, boat cruise and expensive wine, It was a splendid year. I met him on a boat cruise, I was wearing next to nothing, I was impulsive, looking back my, early twentys was filled with self destructive behaviours, but all that changed when I met my best friend, Zoe and Cyprus, even till now, both of them are my lifeline.

We've been dating for almost five years, well 4 years, nine months. Zoe was a bit indifferent to him at first, and he disliked her in return, it took a lot of time to get them to be friends, and now there are close friends, they planned my last surprise birthday, it was a trip to Mali, I met my favourite author there, I wonder what my life will be without them, another thing I wonder is when Cyprus will propose to me, I mean, I'm in no haste to get married and have kids, it just feels right, we've been together for almost half a decade but I'll go at his pace, I still have a lot of things to achieve.

Being a Professor wasn't my first choice of profession, I wanted to be a Artiste, to sing and touch the souls of people with my voice, but everything doesn't go as planned, I still sing, just not as before. I've grown to love being a Psychology Professor, but I'm not stopping, there are still things to achieve, places to go, I'm aiming for the position of the Dean, I've got age and time on my side. In the next ten years, I'm hoping to be married to Cyprus, have two kids, with Cyprus made Partner at his firm and Zoe, the head chef, my life will be complete.

I grin at my reflection in my rearview mirror, perfecting the act of ignoring that void I feel.

____

"Girl, he ordered a breadless bread stick, my mouth was wide open" Zoe says, and I burst into laughter.

Zoe is a chef at a Micheline Star Restaurant in Los Angeles. She graduated from culinary school while I was getting my masters. We met nine years ago in UCLA apartment, I had transferred the year before, and couldn't afford to live alone, so I sought for a roommate and I found her. She looked as lost and homesick as I was the minute I saw her, I guess that's what drew us together, we found strength in each other, She was 23 and I, 20, we became instant friends and she taught me the art of self destructiveness and I thought her how to balance it with the determination to succeed, we once got matching tattoos on our thighss, and read all through the night. She was my Personal Chef, and I, her Critic. I was her Therapist and she, my Patient. We found equilibrium in each other, then Cyprus came along, and I gave both of them my whole heart, they became my world.

"Breadless bread stick!" I say amidst laughter.

"Exactly! Those posh asshole will be faking some boogie shit." She grins, her dark skin dazzling.

"You complain everyday, but you're there every morning." I smile.

"And Cyprus leaves without warning but you still love him. We love what we love." She smiles, and I nod.

"Tell me about Connor, how was the date?" I smile, Zoe has never had a stable boyfriend, I worry she might feel intimidated by I and Cyprus' love, so I take every chance to set her up.

"I tap that ass." She says with her mouth full, and I grin, my mouth equally full of her special Spaghetti.

"He was charming and all. He opened the car door for me, but I told you, B, I'm in love with someone."

I drop my spoon, annoyed "You won't tell me who he is!" I accuse and she shrugs.

"We all have our secrets, he is mine, I'll like to keep it that way."

"Tell me a little about him." I persist, and she smiles, giving in.

"He is the best in bed. He knows my body better than I do. He speaks to me even from miles away. I don't believe in soulmates, I believe in something bigger than soulmates, and he's mine." She says, and I swoon, ignoring the ache in my chest, trying to tell me something.

"That is beaut -- " My ringing phone cuts me off. I stare at the screen, and I frown, dread coursing through my veins. It's my Dad. "Excuse me, my love. I have to take this." I say, walking to my bedroom.

"Daddy." I say picking the call.

"Daughter!" He yells in glee, and I feel relief, my paranoia fading away.

"Hi." I smile, relaxing. I've missed him. "How's Mom?"

"She's here, wants to speak to you." He says, and I wait for her

"Adaline, come home." She says, and I freeze.

"Is something wrong?" I say, but she laughs.

"No, Adaline, It's our Anniversary next Saturday, and this year, I don't want a delivered gift and video call, I want my daughter, my only child." She says, and I sign.

"I miss you Mom, but I haven't being home in almost ten years. I left for a reason."

"I am not asking you to come back fully, just visit your mother, am I not enough reason?"

I roll my eyes "Enough with the guilt trip Mom."

"Excellent. I'll see you on Wednesday, bring me a huge cake, and your daddy wants a baseball hat. Love you, bye." She rushes out and cuts the call.

I groan in frustration. I don't want to go back, I don't want to go home, but it's been eight years, and it's time to return to New Orleans, just for a week.