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Have you ever felt like you were stuck between guilt and hate? Not knowing the ultimate way out of this hellhole? To be gnawed by oneself? This is the case of James Wald, this man who had been looking for the most effective remedy for nearly 10 years, this man who, once rejected, had become closed to him to such an extent as to envy humanity, this man whose one thing could heal, this thing called "Love" This man who was so gullible, so cold, he had an angel behind this demon who frightened everyone.... to make him heal from this guilt his grandfather decides to find him a wife which leads to a forced marriage, imposing or even arranging... whatever name you give it. A marriage that will give a love that will overcome this wave of disbelief, this love that will have to endure blow and injury, this love that will create a passion as majestic as it is dark, will this man who contains two characters within him know how to get out ?
**JAMES WALD**
At the time
*Beginning of June
Me: I'm leaving for Paris finally to find my mother.
My grandfather: your father would hardly approve of this choice.
Me: Except he's now 6 feet under. (I say it while smoking)
My grandfather: you speak with more respect young man.
Me: Respect?! It needed a mother for that.
My grandfather :
Me: I didn't wish to be an illegitimate child. (shouting): and no I didn't ask anyone! I want to find my mother. I am now taller now.
My grandfather: if such is our choice.
Me: I'll go at dawn, Karl is preparing my luggage.
Him: yes sir.
Damn it's been more than 17 years since I've seen my mother, not 07 but 17 shit! Surely you've been waiting to talk about the illegitimate son of the great businessman, well if not my name is James Wald.
I did not know my mother because according to my grandfather she had separated from my father shortly after my birth. I have to know my origin so I have to find it.
The next day I take my first flight to France by canceling all my appointments as well as my contracts, my job is not at all the easiest in the world because it always requires the plane to represent my country, you defined I am an EMBASSADOR.
After 2 hours of flight we land, my mother is Éléonor LY, one of the most famous pianist of France, j. I did not take long to go to his place of work.
me: hello
I see the secretary turned around and giving me the most beautiful smiles.
Her: what is this pleasure worth to me sir?
Me: I'm looking for Eleonor LY. Please lead me to her.
Her: do you have an appointment? (sensually she says)
She tries to give me cat eyes but that's not what I'm here for.
Me: tell her that JAMES WALD wants her, she will quickly understand the message.
Her: are you her lover? She is in a relationship I report to you and....
I lose patience not letting him finish his impertinent sentence.
Me: Shut up and just run.
From her expression I can tell she's in shock but so much the better, she walks away with the most sensual of gait which I honestly decide to ignore.
She came back casually.
Her: she said she doesn't see anyone!
Me: Show me his office.
Her: to the left of the reception....
Me: thank you.
Her: What do you want to do?!
Without answering him I head for the elevator slipping a hand in my pockets, in business everything counts as well as time.
Without bothering to knock I enter.
Me: Hello dear mother.
Éleonor (surprised): Jimmy! (dry tone) Get out of here sir.
Me: I came to see my mother.
Her: Get out of here immediately because I'm not your mother.
What me ?
Her: you are illegitimate, a child born of an adventure and above all don't you dare tell people that you are my... I hate the word. Go away, I don't want my reputation to be tarnished.
For the first time in my life I JAMES WALD hurt, my pride is hurt, my pride. I feel anger and sadness take over, I force myself not to shed tears, a man doesn't cry. When I think of all this trip that I had to wait for years and years I feel that I lose control, Against all odds I started to smile.
Me: I'm not leaving here dear, if you didn't want me to be here you just had to take your pills.
Her: I can't stand your impertinence young man, Mei call security and throw this garbage away.
Men came in, holding me by the arms.
Her: hit him. No one disrespects Éléonor LY.
Man: Are you sure ma'am?
Her (yelling): I say nobody! Throw him out of here and double the security. You're just nonsense james like your worthless father, I hate you because you ruined my life, you should have died when I did this abortion but here you are and you are ready to destroy my work know I hate you, I hate all that damn WALD family.
I clench my jaw so as not to cry, I've never felt so humiliated by someone and the worst it's someone is MY MOTHER, the one who gave me life, she said it while we beat me up.
Her (between her teeth): that's because you came into the world, you ruined my life, you illegitimate son, it's because of your perverse father that all this is happening to me. He drugged me and then he abused me and you know what happened? Another pervert like him, I hate you Walds, this damn adventure should never have been.
After all those words I felt so dirty I was born to a perverted father? Am I wrong? I found myself at the door, I knew what humiliation is, I ordered my guard and my driver to make space for me. I started driving fast, so fast that my vision was blurry. I took refuge in a bar under this storm.
I don't drink cause I never get drunk, I injected myself 4 packs of drugs I had to forget, forget that I'm a mistake, that I shouldn't have been there, I felt hate in me, Around 2 o'clock I started to have control again so I hit the road again. On the way I felt something heavy forming in me.
-Hey sir, said a young girl to me
Me: what do you want from me
Her: My name is acassia, why so late at night?
Me: I'm throwing the question back to you
I was trying not to lose control.
Her: I'm going to see my fiancé (Smiling)
Me: so much the better...
I wanted to restart when again she called out to me.
Her: hey no no no wait, you can take me back to....
Me: I'm not your driver.
Her: oh but what a crocious character! But it's so dark if I die you'll have my death on your conscience.
After miles and a reflection, I told him to go upstairs but I felt my heart was against it while I decided not to listen to him anymore, I will never listen to him again from now on. It's stuff for the weak.
I started, she was just chatting the whole way. The women !
I start to see blurry, the drugs start to take over, I try to control myself but in vain.
Her: are you sure that cava?
Me :
Her: be careful sir!!!
I turn around to see a big truck carrying dark wood on us, I try to move away but my vision is so blurry that I see double. I shouldn't have taken the wheel, drugs are the only thing I can't control.
By letting go, I had just enough time to reach the cries of the young girl before collapsing in my seat.
I open my eyes little by little and find the young girl on a rolling bed, my vision is still a little blurry.
I see a man crying on his bed, this picture makes me feel guilty, it's because of me that she is like this
- Sir, how are you?
Me: how is she?
Agent: I'm afraid she's paralyzed.
He had not finished his report when an officer came to ask me some questions.
Officer: who are you driving?
Me (After a long silence): it was me.
Officer: According to the doctor, you were on drugs, is that true?
I do.
Officer: So you still took the wheel knowing that you risk staying there.
I do...
Officer: why did you bring the girl back in this case?
Me: I really intended to.
Silence
Officer: You are under arrest, Mr. WALD, firstly for injecting drugs in the first degree and for violating article 24.4.
They took me on board, I felt something in me this broken, First of all I blamed myself for having condemned this young girl to paralysis but thus for having had pity, I felt my heart this harden, was having one too many, first rejected by the woman who gave birth to me after this accident, this fucking accident.
Pity? Never again, joy? I don't care, a heart? I don't have any more, my only option is drugs now, I don't believe in anything anymore, IN NOTHING!
To be continued....
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