To Love You Hurts

PROLOGUE:

TOBIAS:

Our eyes met from across the room as she stands at the bar, ordering herself a drink.

My glass is half full. Whiskey.

The ambient colour of love, lust, and sin. Burns you right down to the core, menacingly destroying your insides with no fucks given.

Love.

Some say it is a distraction to a path of destruction, and I, for one, can vouch for that.

I have been burned not once, but twice by Keri Appleton and each time, I've only just managed to claw my way out of the hole of self-torment I dug for myself.

But this time around, I won't let her go.

She is mine. She has always been mine. Even when she left the country without saying goodbye, even now, when she believes that she isn't tied to me.

She looks different. She's filled out in places that make her look devastatingly gorgeous; almost being enough to make my heart cease on the spot.

My thumb twitches as I roll my heavy steel ring around my finger like it somewhat calms the hostility that is burning deep inside me.

"She looks Happy," Melanie says across the table from me as her gaze follows mine.

My eyes narrow when my gaze shifts to the man standing next to her with his hand on her hip, whispering in her ear.

"Happy?" I snort. "That's not her being happy. That is revenge." After all these years, I'm intrigued to find out why she has returned. With him.

I stand up from my chair, downing the rest of my whiskey. I need to know why she is here. Of all days, why make yourself seen?

"Mr. Landry, where are you going? We still need to close this deal." Mr. Adem calls out to me over the loud music.

I ignore him. Melanie is more than capable of handling all the paperwork on our end of the deal.

Strolling towards Keri, I pass Davis sitting at the table, his chin touching his chest, swaying side to side with a bottle of beer still in his grasp.

Ava sits beside him with their daughter sound asleep in her arms as she pats her bottom, rocking back and forth in her chair.

The closer I get to Keri, the more I feel like I need to obliterate something. Preferably her.

Setting her glass on the bar top, she turns away and heads towards the back exit door. I follow her, keeping my distance, and the second I step outside, the cold air snakes its icy tentacles around the base of my throat as I shove the door open.

"It's okay, my little darlings, I'll be back soon. Mummy just needs to... Oh..." I reach around her curvy body, forcing the door behind her shut as I press her body against it. "Tobias!" She exclaims, swallowing thickly with her wide eyes darting between me and her phone.

"Mummy, Mummy... where are you? We can't see you," a high-pitched voice screams through the other end of the phone.

Anger disperses across my chest. Did I hear right? Was the voice of a little girl calling Keri mummy, on the other end of the phone?

I rip the phone out of her hand, "No, please... Tobias!" her voice fills with panic as I lift the phone to my face to see who she is talking to.

I stumble back, feeling like I've been kicked in the gut as my gaze collides with not one, but two sets of eyes that look identical to mine.

"Mummy? Mummy... who is that man? He doesn't look like our uncle?"

"Tobias... I..."

"You're a mother?" I spit out with venom, unable to hide the rage behind my words.

"I... yes," she replies softly, hanging her head in shame.

"Are they..." My voice trails off, knowing that they can't be. "When were you going to tell me?"

I pass her the phone back as she slouches against the door with tears sliding down her cheeks.

"Don't you think I have a right to know that my wife fell pregnant to a man who took her away from me?" I ask darkly, anxiously waiting for her reaction after she registers what I've just said.

Her head snaps up with a look of shock burning brightly in her eyes, "your wife?"

Pressing my hands against the door on either side of her head. I cage her in between my arms, leaning my head next to hers, my lips a whisper away from her ear.

"That's right, spitfire," I whisper in a raspy voice, filling my lungs with her scent. "You are still my wife, and I am your husband. Those divorce papers you sent me, I never signed them."

---

FOUR YEARS EARLIER:

My heart sinks into the pit of my stomach as I continue to read the letter left on my bakery's doorstep upon my arrival this morning.

"Mother..." I hiss, refraining from finishing my sentence.

I clench my jaw, screwing up the letter as I refuse to let Landry Enterprise spoil my day. Especially when I haven't had the chance to sit down and enjoy a cup of coffee just yet.

I toss the letter into the garbage where it belongs.

You know what they say: out of sight, out of mind.

If they want my company, they will have to take me to court because I'm not selling it to them.

As the bell on the door chimes, I look up to see who my first customer of the day is, and a wide grin spreads across my face.

"Chase!" I scream, moving out from behind the counter, I run straight into his open arms. "What... When did you get into town? You should have called me, I would've picked you up from the airport. " I coo as I step back and take a good look at him.

It's been 8 days since I dropped him off at the airport for a business trip, and my gods, those 8 days felt like 8 long and lonely excruciating weeks.

Chase and I have been dating for about two years now. It hasn't been easy when he spends most of his time flying back and forth between Auckland and Wellington for his job. I run my fingers through his hair, missing the silky sensation upon my fingertips.

"Keri, there's something that I need to tell you." He sighs, placing his hands on my shoulders with a distressed look tarnishing his handsome features.

My smile instantly falters, and I know, I just know that what he has to say next isn't going to sit well with me. My pulse begins to spike as I notice the sweat that beads along his brow line as he refuses to meet my gaze.

He reeks of guilt, sin, and betrayal. A smell that I am all too familiar with.

"What's wrong?" I take two steps back and wrap my arms around my waist as I anxiously await his response while my voice quavers.

He blows air out of his nose, "I'm sorry, I didn't mean for this to happen, you gotta believe me, babe." He murmurs in a pleading tone with his shoulders sagging at the same time.

"Chase, I can't forgive you if I don't know what it is that you have done wrong."

He raises his gaze to meet mine taking a step toward me, and the bell to the door goes off again.

In walks the most beautiful female I've not seen in a long time. And for good reason.

"Ava?" I whisper with tears brimming my eyes as I take in her appearance.

As the pieces to the puzzle slowly start to fall into place, I begin to feel sick with repulsion.

"Keri please..." Chase pleads as he rushes toward me.

I shake my head, holding my hand up as my heart starts to shatter in the nest of my chest.

"You and my sister?!" I can barely contain the horror in my voice as shock and animosity swirl in the pools of my eyes.

I look past Chase, watching as my younger sister stands behind the man, I thought loved me in return, rubbing her swelling belly.

"And you, you are meant to be my sister." I sob, "How could you do this to me after everything I have done for you, for the both of you?"

Raising my hand, I violently wipe away the tears that stain my face with deception and heartache.

"It was only one time," Chase quickly states in his defense

"You say it like it's meant to dull the unnecessary pain that you have both caused me. If you wanted to be together, you should have told me first Chase." I swallow thickly trying to suppress the emotions that are coaxing the back of my throat.

Ava sucks on her upper teeth as she holds out her hand revealing an elegant engagement ring that sparkles when the light hits it on her slender finger.

"Well, now you know." She says in a snarky tone, adding salt to my wounds. "It was better this way, like ripping off a band-aid wouldn't you say?" She snickers.

And just like that, the genuine nature of my little sisters' feelings for me became evident.

Such a fool I was. I should have known something was stirring in her pot the moment she so innocently asked me for Chase's address in Wellington a few months ago when she flew out there.

She insisted that she wanted to speak to him about something important. Initially, I thought she was planning to throw me a surprise birthday party in a few days.

"Shut up, Ava. Didn't I tell you to wait in the car for my text?" Chase hisses with a look of pity pooling in his chocolate brown eyes.

"You did, but when have I ever done something that is required of me?" She sighs, turning her hand over to admire her engagement ring.

"I'm happy for the pair of you." I sniffle, straightening my posture as I refuse to let them tear me apart in my bakery which is supposed to be my safe haven.

"Keri, if you'll just sit down and give me a chance to explain what happened between us, I think you-"

"OUT!" I snap, cutting him off. "I want you both to get out of my bakery, now."

"Keri, please..."

"No," I retort looking at Chase through narrowed eyes. "You have no right to ask anything of me. You have made your bed, now it is time for you to sleep in it."

I turn around and walk to the back of the building, pulling ingredients down from the shelves to start making my infamous chocolate brownies for the day.

I'm barely keeping it together and I want them both gone from my life, for good.

How could he do this to me?

How could he sleep with me, knowing that he had gotten my sister pregnant?

I feel sick just thinking about our passionate nights spent under the stars on his balcony. As soon as I hear the door close behind them and the feeling of being all alone washed over me. I slide down the cold steel refrigerator and I let the torrent of tears loose.

I'm on the brink of losing my bakery, I've lost my boyfriend and it seems like my sanity is hanging on by a thread too.

How, how can fate be so cruel?