The AA Marriage: Shattered Bonds and Liberated Souls

Two months into our marriage, my husband suggested we split all expenses equally. This included living costs, supporting our parents, social obligations, and raising children.

I agreed.

Later, he couldn't handle it, and begged me to support him.

I kicked him away.

"Get out of here!"

Recently, my father, Anthony Clark, fell ill.

The doctor informed me that after insurance, we still needed over 100, 000 dollars for the surgery.

I regretted buying a new car last month.

I called my husband, Gavin Russell. "Honey, can you lend me 100, 000 dollars? Anthony needs surgery."

"We're already splitting everything equally. Each of us should handle our own responsibilities," Gavin replied, colder than a stranger.

I bit my lip, trying to stay calm. "I said lend, not give!"

"I don't have it. Figure it out yourself." He hung up without a word of concern. Furious, I threw my bag onto the chair. What kind of mess did I get myself into?

"Cindy, did you get the money?" My mom, Lisa Clark, heard the commotion and asked from the hallway.

"Yes, don't worry!"

I had no choice but to call my boss. "Boss, I have a commission of 70, 000 dollars from last quarter that hasn't been paid. Can I get an advance?"

"What's wrong?"

I explained Anthony's situation to him.

"Alright, I'll make an exception for you. If it's not enough, I'll lend you some personally."

Seeing 100, 000 dollars in my bank account, I covered my face and cried.

What had marriage given me? Nothing but chaos.

It wasn't as rewarding as the respect and trust earned through my own hard work.

Four years ago, I married Gavin.

I was a hopeless romantic, captivated by his good looks since college.

Despite my parents' objections, thinking Gavin hadn't been reliable.

Even though his family didn't offer a traditional marriage gift from the groom's family, I believed love was priceless.

I was willing to offer a house as the gift for our marriage.

But after marriage, he suggested we split all expenses equally. This included living costs, supporting our parents, social obligations, and raising children.

I was surprised and didn't understand.

Although we both worked and had our own incomes, I never asked him for living expenses. We lived carefree, sometimes paying for utilities while he paid for gas. I bought groceries and oil, then he bought daily necessities.

I never cared to calculate who had contributed more.

But Gavin kept a little notebook, recording every expense.

After two months, he probably felt he was at a disadvantage.

But weren't couples supposed to weather storms together? Was there a need to be so calculative?

Gavin confidently persuaded me.

"Many people abroad do this. It's modern and reduces conflicts."

"But it feels more like a partnership than a marriage."

"Marriage is about choosing the right partner. Besides love, we must think long-term."

I began to reflect on our dating period. It seemed I spent more, but I never calculated it.

Since that was the case, I decided to give it a try.

From then on, Gavin recorded every bill and split everything with me, down to the exact cent.

A year later, I got pregnant.

I had severe pregnancy vomiting and rested at home after six months.

I applied for unpaid leave from work since maternity leave hadn't started.

During that time, Gavin's face was gloomy. I thought he was worried about my health, but it turned out he was concerned about my income.

"We're splitting everything equally, you know. I can't help you since you're not earning these months."

I frowned. This was even harsher than splitting every penny with one's own brother.

Seeing I didn't respond, Gavin anxiously explained further. "You have savings, right? They should last a few months."

I made a list, including formula, diapers, baby clothes, bottles, a stroller and so on.

"These are all necessary expenses. You buy them first, and I'll pay you back later."

Gavin frowned even more. He clearly hadn't planned for these costs.

"That's a lot of expenses. I don't have the money."

"Where did your money go?"

Gavin glared at me, dissatisfied.