via

me a series of m

reathe. Pa

e kind you feel after a dentist injects novocaine in

urd

t was on

anniversary of our first date. We had eaten pizza on a rooftop in

tasted

nded by the debris of a life I was dismantli

ni

t through Marcu

ni

ugh his arm a

ni

h the way he us

. I just shredded them. Cold, efficient destruction. The

door shattere

raitorous rhythm. I knew that knock. T

ed the

stood

p button undone. He looked like the man I used to

?" I asked. My vo

rmth. He stepped into the apartment wit

ving," he said. It

day,"

ing prep. The flowers. The seating charts. I just needed..." He looked

top. A buffer zone before h

et place anymore,

e that. You know you're t

said. "That's

st thread. I needed to see if there was e

g," I said. "Drive me to the air

. The movement was a

st is coming to the penthouse

pretend to check his schedule. Flowers

he word tasted lik

turning back to the door. "Car

ed Carl," I

d. "I just wanted to s

tastic,"

e didn't have to dig

r click

und br

ars came hot and fast, scalding my cheeks. He chose flo

ticking out from under t

d started writing to me a year

, I can't imagine

. He couldn't imagine a future without me, so h

in half. Then qua

h out of my house, out of my life. I

My sock caught on

l for

oor o

ybe he forgot his phone. May

d right

eady me. My chest pressed against his. His

it felt like

bered he bel

away, panic rising i

o," I

Instead, he h