ia's

ts looped around the headboard, casting warm gold across the stacks of bo

he lingering scent of last night's microwave popcorn. It felt like hom

all, scrolling aimlessly through my phone while

er chest, then switching to the green. "Red is festi

Green would make you look like you're trying too hard

hair. "Red it is. Dad always says I look like a Christmas ornament in

rought out this softer side of her-the way her eyes lit up, the way

phone. Always from the side or behind, mostly photos of him at the stove making pancakes, him standing on the porch looking out over the lawn, him in a tux at some event w

d me one where he was reading in an armchair, half

ooms, but the pool heater's still being finicky, so we should pack warm-classic Dad. He's already got the chef planning your favorite things ev

, nervous flip. "He di

friend, he immediately went into host mode. 'Make sure she knows w

loor-to-ceiling shelves, those rolling ladders,

warm despite the nerves. Books had always

es, no assignments, just food and pool and bad Christmas movies. Dad pret

ftly. "He's

ly the back of his dark head visible. "He could've checked out after Mom died. Hired people, and buried himself in work. Instead he did everything. Midn

from me who doesn't know my father, and lost my mum at a young age, then lived the majority of my li

l be

ff, like bikinis. That red one-piece you never wear because

er pillows. "I'm not trying to imp

She tossed a pair of denim cutoffs at me. "Besides, the pool is

a steady stream of chatter, talking about the holiday menu, how her Dad always over-decorated the tree because "

who loved deeply and quietly, who carried grief like an old coat he couldn't quit

eath it all, that familiar ache stirred-the one that had start

onged there. That was the only time I had ever said the word, called someone daddy, and felt so good doing

d it do

he bedspread, and I

Chris

without openin

oticed. "

ea

lready. He's been texting you every da

e. "He called yesterday too. Left a voicemail saying he 'just want

m. "Help meaning he wants to wear you dow

. Multiple times, politel

for him so you'll go on at least one date, but he's disturbing you now, and I don'

self. "Tempting. But

again-same number

my thumb hover

"Answer it. Put him on

then hit acce

warm and too familiar. "Ali

de a gaggi

y. "I've been busy wi

e been calling. Just wanted to c

m f

sure? You've b

not interested in dating. N

d savage and g

et it. I just... I think we'd be goo

chances. The an

f you change your mind... I'm here. Holiday break's coming

alling, and stop texting.

quietly: "You don't hav

g cold. I'm b

. "Right. Honest. Fine.

ne wen

low whistle. "Damn

sting. "I hate that. I hate that he makes

udged my shoulder. "You deserve someone who listens the f

ut the word

that. When I finally stood to leave, huggin

"Then freedom. And Dad's tarts.

her shoulder. "I

, lights low, I sat on my be

e ink blurred together, and I couldn't make

like it could detect when I was alone, and my

, pulled the blanket

my mind off this, or at least, get la