ia'

outh, but not

like a man who had all the time in the world-or like a man who h

lame waited. The elder

t," I wh

ing they carried. But the elder nodded as t

it is

ke that, I

, some pleased, some already calculating what this union meant for them and their

was not something the Cress family had done to me. This was just

to blame, and those are

d to me. "Co

ked, and I followed-because that was what I di

ood at every corner, their eyes following me as I passed. I kept my head down and my shoulders h

changes. I had spent twenty years learning how to di

owed, and the distance between us stayed exactly the same the whole way-three

larger than any room I ha

ng orange light across the stone floor. The walls were dark and cold, like him-bare, except for shadows. A desk in

furs on the bed. The silver candlesticks on

stood on a

nown hunger, never known the weight of a raised hand. I stared down at my

that door," Kaelen said,

he

ter waiting on the other side of it, and a man who had walked me

wearing a white gown, offic

heavier-tiredness. The kind that lives in the marrow. I was tired of hiding.

d to th

red it while we were at the ceremony. Someone had thought, ahea

prepared anythin

ped around me like a blanket, and I closed my eyes and let

charm rested against my skin, cold and familiar, the

voice echoed

mour charm before you

ay. I could wait. I had waited fifte

lf, just for the privacy of this steam and this silence-to feel like me again. Without th

the necklace

fifteen years, I took

ed. But the small stone at its center looked dimmer than I remembered-as if taking

head, faint and far away, like she was disappoint

the light. I told myself o

at my reflecti

I sa

eal

kin. Lips that looked like they had been made for smiling, even though I had forgotten how. The water tre

beau

ays been

smooth, nothing like the rough, dull texture the charm had shown the wor

had given it to me. And then sh

she would re

wearing a white gown that did not smell like potatoes and old wood? She would probab

eat. Steady. Mine. I was still here. Still alive. That was

e from wherever she was. If she

And more than anything, more than breath, more than

he was st

viving, the fifteen years of gray water and locked doors-had been for n

ve. I needed it the way a

ers, this face that could not be ignored, this face that demanded to be seen-Celeste and Vivienne would have destr

olves like them, was not a g

Freer. Like I had been holding my breath for fift

f Cresswood-the grease, the old wood, the cold, the years. I watched it swi

len, reckless moment-I let

I hea

ing knocked ove

, and my hand flew to my throat-to the place where the

amour

I had been given-the only rule that had kept me alive

ving. Had stopped breathing. Was standing somewhere in the dark of

n at the water-at the trembling reflection of a fa

ace, just behind the ripple

ark. Still. Stand

e in this room for

o do next, I would do it w