ra

lence, broken only by the soft padding

me. She held out a heavy crystal tumble

might help," she said, her

sen my nerves, make me brave enough to do what had to be done. A bitter little part of me wondered if Eleonora had slipped in some old Sic

a path down my throat, searing away the top layer of m

reath and pushe

the shifting, hypnotic colors on the medical monitors. The machines b

ed to

arp lines of his jaw, the dark sweep of his lashes against his pale skin. They were

ng, blurring the shar

old myself. A trans

umsy, disconnected from my brain. The robe slithered to the floor

corner of the cr

s beneath his skin hard as stone. He was warm, but it was the passive warmt

ng lights. I forced myself to breathe, to obey the brutal logic of t

. It was a silent, devastating ritual, a private hum

stion washed over me. I rolled away fro

ilent, wracking sobs. I cried for the girl who had dreamed of a real wedding, for the woman who had just sold her

dge of the bed, the grief so heavy it fe

into a hazy, whiskey-

to

bare

contact, like a single feather brushing against

id. Every nerve

ed my head around, my hear

His breathing, measured by the ventilator, hadn't

th

any sign, any flicker of movement,

was no

ing from stress. Or maybe my mind, frayed and exhaus

dn't b

hrough me. I watched him for a long, long time, my breath held tig

breath and told myself it w

ad t