ome after the

. Past the church on Steinway where my mother used to light candles for my father after he lef

zzing in my pock

n't a

who calls you honey and coffee that tastes like it's been sitting on the burner since yesterday. I ordered a gri

iend, maybe. Her voice was tired in a way I recognized. The sound of so

ad enough of other

ed again. Thi

partment. Please.

y apartment in eight months. The last time, he'd borrowed three h

stand in the cold until he gave up and wen

was my

sed to mean

est. A bruise on his cheekbone that was fresh enough to still be purple. He looked sma

y,

him and unlocked the do

screaming from the shift and the walking and the weight

his pockets, looking around like he was seeing it for the first time. The secondhand couch. The pile

lace,"

ole. What do

. I wasn't in the

in tr

sat on the arm of the couch. I didn't offer him a seat. "Wha

story prepared, a way to make himself the victim. But this time, he just stoo

hat did

voice was quiet. Too q

t gu

you don't

d to fix it again. But I was always the one. I'd been the one since we were kids

w m

y tho

aited for him to laugh, to say he was joki

did

on't have fifty thousand dollars. I don't have five thousand dol

r. His fingers were shaking. "They're not like the others, Ava. Th

you expect

desperate. Terrified. "I thought maybe you could t

The sound was ugly and sharp an

y plasma twice a month for extra cash. I already skip meals so

know it wa

Leo. You just show up when you need something and disappear when I need you

acked. "I know I'm a s

n? Who a

hey're called th

en. Just words. Just another pr

you," I said.

, pl

ne. I'm done saving you. I'm done setting myself

arker in the hallway light. For a second, I saw the boy he used to be. The one who he

d the door closed behi

dn't

l. I'd learned a long time ago that crying didn't fix anything. It didn't pay bills

dishes that had been sitting in the sink for three days. Folded laundry I'd been ignoring. A

housand

cal bills were still on the coffee table. The past-due

d looked out the window. The way she'd said Leo's

call him. Tell him I'd changed my mind. Tell him I'd

humb did

in my life, I had n

t Leo's debt had already been sold to men who didn't care about payment plans.

e cold air seeping through the windows. The we

ospital bed. His name was Marco Vitale. He was a soldier in the Moretti

as already

n't see it