ra's

my dizzy brain couldn't file that

voice sounding rathe

nce, maybe. Or amusement. Hard to tell with

denly I was defensive. "I'm not on a

ve and unmoving, his eyes scanning my face like he

out here alone,"

tch

re dr

erva

le tugged at the corner of his mouth

t. He didn't offer me a tissue or a hug or any of

said,

hy

'm not car

ched, and somewhere in the cold and the numbness a

ot

rn to be chival

oman from the A

**

hy I followed h

clean, sparse, smelling like cedar and

h nothing on it except a laptop. No posters. N

out min

e of water without a

ri

ran

t the bed. "

re you s

flo

anket from the closet, tossed it on the ground, and la

id I look

ent, swaying slightly, the w

onto the bed an

aster than I ha

****

eep with a gasp l

cold. My head pounded and my

ca

d in my skull

e point, shifted to the chair by the window, head tip

ep. Softer, less like he

n't t

ng that wasn't grief. I slid off the bed, crossed the room on un

open, fully awa

mar

like a warning

ssed

up, not pushing me away. Just there, warm on my

into his hair. He smelled like cedar

again, in this l

re dr

n't c

u w

n't c

moment. His jaw was tight.

ow, frustrated and hung

at I needed. His hands were careful. His mouth was pati

I was ch

wn head. I just wanted to feel something that wasn

e floor blanket, his hands against eac

eath hot against my neck, and I arc

ed to

fingers frantically tryi

eyes were dark now, pupils blown wide, and s

me," he sa

ed my

h my hands on him and my whole body

uc

complete

, which had been gripping my hips, loosen

e I'd receive

ed. "I didn't.

at up and ran a h

ce was un

gain. My voice cracke

what you

, he turned back and gr

im. Fingers were tangling, clothes being tak

s Ga

as he teased the

y i

I gasped

nt slowly at first, kissing and squeezing. My toes curled

I begged a

his shoulder. "Are y

igged into h

s,

's my

rre

less that that's the only th

e until I was pretty sure my eye

ak, he leaned in with a

world e