exactly a

does not an

se and the dark, and I keep walking because standing

bl

w

re

he Crestholm streets cutting right through the dress Marcus picked because he l

hing now, the way you notice a smell th

locks

blocks

en I s

close to THE MERIDIAN and the door below it is dark wood and old and it looks like th

the paveme

ok a

tion of Aurum, at the direction of Marcus and white t

ack at t

eno

hree other people in the whole place and none of them are looking at each other. Nobody in here is pretending to be anywhere they would rather be. That is

at t

edges where hands have rested for years and years. I put my hands on it.

ing him. He is a large man, quiet, wi

ng stron

ods

me and walks to the other end of t

, probably, eventually, in some bathroom at three in the morning when I finally let myself sit with what tonight means. But right

dr

bur

for something that f

down. Breathe on

s. Someone at the far end nursing something dark. A couple by the wall talking in the kind of low voice

t my han

er. Four millimetres of skin that use

it is louder than

e y

my lips

al and easy. And me sitting there trying to remember the last time I h

oat ti

another

the way you become awa

ly. Not al

dua

our mind does. The particular weight of being seen by someone who is not seeing you the w

ree stoo

here between meetings. A glass in front of him that he is not rushing. His hands are aroun

gla

ks

es

he looked once and something registered and no

my eyes

having to explain myself to another person. Tonight I am a woman sitting with the wreckage of five years

artender with

he pauses. He looks down the bar once. Then back

ok a

at

once,

down

. Not a line. Just a small, steady acknowledgment. Like he saw something in me that he

still around

uld s

ght and figure out where I am sleeping and call Nadia and s

do a lot

at th

ok a

wn drink, like the offer was made and whatever I do with it is entirely

e thing th

is something. Not the drink. N

red something and

me someone offered me somethi

es a slow,

ck i

. The thing I should

ck i

erformance in it at all. Just a voice. Low and unhurried. The kind of voice t

ne who just made a v

mpletel

ath does not move. The whole

he is no

ven a littl

yet how right he