My Husband Killed Me In His Dreams

dying

its edge pressing into me as though

feel eve

old m

ing in m

preading throu

e knew I was dreaming, my

ream, but not

move, to run, to fight back, but my body felt impossibly

stood

ast

hus

an I

understand. His face was twisted with fear, pain,

e tears i

s hand wa

d from its silver b

rately searching his f

looking at

me every night standing o

asti

e out as a b

es met

t, neither

s lips

sor

nife

ploded i

N

ted a

ght in bed. My head spun, and I immediately

nding so violent

en another, trying to convi

only

a nig

elt cold where the

around th

rawn, blocking out the night, while the air

ng was f

bedr

r

and bes

denly wrapped a

ren

lin

ast

s awa

happ

low and roug

ed tow

y with exhaustion. Concern immediately replaced

seconds, I c

htmare was sitting

iv

a

e

llowe

kille

ression

ha

my d

ment before pulling me g

just a n

ainst him, trying to

s slow and stead

rm

ntic rhythm pounding

the same drea

kno

ately pu

u k

shifted in

oked

y a second, b

ow

told me

row

d

memory, but

emember te

brushed a loose strand

f-asleep when

sounded r

ing about it

ck to

ied hi

I dream i

won

me with stran

row

o you

se I'm

ward and kiss

t would have

t, it

htly I held onto him, I c

el its cold edge

still hear

rry, S

and tried to pu

sleep foun

ghtmare di

oss the bedroom, warming the floor and

ed for several minutes, st

was already be

how dream

you, and then disappeared piece

one felt

ill rememb

fec

oked around

m wa

ow overlooki

ing above

exactly where

ered the room

blue

e mirror besi

den table n

se things e

bed m

had simply i

ad to

be a logica

alked toward

d it when something

edroo

top

scratch running

mach d

, I simply s

stepped

atch wa

fr

ached out an

gers t

that scra

n rea

y dr

been

xact sam

aveled dow

ped ba

N

ped before I

t is

un a

of the bathroom, already dresse

oved away f

thi

fted toward

ent, something flick

pri

gnit

e

it wa

you s

es

ked to

d him ca

ou do

ettled on

N

who

n't k

r came to

owed m

don

N

st me and op

y outside

ays before turni

the housekeepe

his h

dn't

ded m

asti

oked

es

r seen that s

pa

as b

t was

shook

N

red a

t belie

inside me kept insisting that my hus

me, a disturbing tho

wasn't as meanin

I tried to f

ook me out

could. I laughed when I was supposed to and smiled

d have thought everythi

t returning to

scra

dr

oom I had nev

reaction when

I had almost convinced mysel

atch had alwa

it before and s

rrowed details from s

be a logica

alwa

bastian fell a

long time, stari

nd tried to reassure myself t

my hu

oved

ares could

y, exhaus

sed m

sl

he middle o

opened

om was

didn't know wh

I hea

his

ren

e in my bod

turned

s standing b

k was f

sn't

asti

dn't

pright, my pulse

ed comple

unnatural about th

he

was bare

orry,

od ran

is eyes w

his h

nife from