s chief ambition in life is to be original, and his method of obtai

women walk on their heads and shake hands with their feet, his trees would grow with their roots in the air, and the old cock would lay all the e

Brown whose notion of originality

thinking for herself. Instead, she copies in everything her elder sister, who takes more after the mother. If her sister has two helpings of rice pudding fo

is not an admirer of the political virtues, and one evening,

ays do just what Jessie does, that's silly. Have an

she'd try, and went

de by side. Now the child loved kippers with an affection that amounted almost to passion, while

Jessie?" asked the mother, ad

while her sister sat regardin

d at last, and the younger child tur

ourse, Trixy?" said the mot

ine, stifling a sob, and speaking in a d

't bear kidneys," exclaim

don't lik

e so fond

s,

y on earth don'

riginal," and here the poor mite, reflecting upon the pri

*

es upon the altar of Brown's originality. We decid

bad?" que

ghnassy emphatically. "W

holy tone of voice that he never varies, whether telling a joke about a wedding or an anecdote relatin

hnassy reflectively, "that bad people a

nd a lively young colt with ideas of his own. The one is comfortable to travel on, but the other provides you with more exercise. If you start off with a thoroughly good woman for your heroine you give your story away

. Out of the fifty or so courses open to her, she may take the right one, or she may take o

nty of good heroines who

he never met her lover except for the purpose of telling him that she could not be his, and she generally wept steadily throughout the interview. She never forgot to turn pale at the sight of blood, nor to faint in his arms at the most inconvenient moment possible. She was

en now," I observed. "You're talking about

are responsible for its varying standards. In Japan, a 'good' girl would be a girl who would sell her honour in order to afford little luxuries to her aged parents. In certain hospitable islands of the torrid zone the 'good' wife goes to lengths that we should deem altogether unnecessary in making her husband's guest feel himself at home. In ancient Hebraic days, Jael was accounted a good woman for murdering a sleeping man, and Sarai stood in no danger of losing the r

ing fellows ever fully grasp how much we owe to 'the poor.' Where would our angelic heroines and our noble-hearted heroes be if it were not for 'the poor'? We want to show that the dear girl is as good as she is beautiful. What do we do? We put a basket ful

y, reading in the theatrical newspapers gushing accounts of the dear fellow's invariable generosity to the poor. What is it stills the small but irritating voice

he next world? Why, he becomes suddenly good to the poor. If the poor were not there for him to be good to, what could he do? He would be un

on his list was a fine old mansion that had remained vacant for many years. He had despaired of ever selling it, when one day an elderly lady, very richly dressed, drove up to the office and made inquiries about it. She said she had come across it accidentally while travelling through that par

tant from the town, and they went over it together. My cousin waxed eloquent upon the subject of its advantages. He dwelt upo

e lady was charmed with the situation and the surroundings, and deli

stood by the lodge gate, 'tell me, what

d my cousin; 'th

ady. 'No poor people in the

y dear madam, this is a thinly populated and exceedingly prosperous county: this particular dist

n a tone of disappointment. 'The place woul

n't mean to say that you want poor people! Why, we've always considered it one of the chief attractions of

to atone for the-er-follies of my youth by an old age of well-doing, and to that end it is essential that I should be surrounded by a certain number of deserving poor. I had hoped to fin

town,' he said, 'many of them most interesting cases, and you could have th

ouldn't go as far as the town. They must be wit

you what we could do,' he said. 'There's a piece of waste land the other end of the village that we've never been able to do much with, in consequence of its being so swampy. If you

on the idea, and it st

his method you would be able to select your own poor. We would get you

of England preferred); one paralytic old man; one blind girl who would want to be read aloud to; one poor atheist, willing to be converted; two cripples; one dru

vered a mild little man, who, upon the lady's requirements and charitable intentions being explained to him, undertook to qualify himself for the vacancy by getting intoxicated at least once a week. He said he could not

ree of disagreeableness. Some of them were so very unpleasant. He eventually made choice of

eks, and has lately taken to knocking his wife about. The disagreeable fellow is most conscientious in fulfilling his part of the bargain, and makes himself a perfect curse to the whole village. Th

ter with the self-satisfied air of a benevolent man about to reward somebody f

found life a bit slow. One day, however, a new curate arrived, and that woke things up considerably. He was a nice young man, and, having

the course of a casual conversation upon the subject of love, he was heard to say that he himself should never be attracted by

card for them to play was 'the poor.' But here a serious difficulty arose. There was only one poor person in the whole parish, a cantankerous old fellow who l

a day with beef-tea; and then the widow boarded him with port wine and oysters. Later in the

ins, and an occasional bottle of dandelion tea. This sudden spurt on the part of Providence puzzled him. He said nothing, however, b

himself airs, and to make the place hard for them. He made them clean his cottage out, and cook h

trike, but what could they do? He was the only pauper for miles round, and kn

a jug to get his supper beer. She indignantly refused at first, but he told her that if she gave him any of her stuck-up airs out s

ng. He said he didn't want Sunday-school rubbish at his time of life. What he liked was something spicy. And he made them read him Fren

t they would sing hymns and play high-class melodies, but it wasn't his. His idea was-'Keeping up the old

urate's sudden and somewhat unexpected marriage with a very beautiful burlesque actress who had lately been performing in a neighbouring town. He gave up the

areer of prosperity ended. They packed him off to t

*

his feet off the mantelpiece, and set to work to wake up hi

rich to the poor, which is a virtue yielding quick and highly satisfactory returns, but with the goodn

oor, but the silent, fighting poor-one is bound to feel a genu

stand always in the van. They die in the ditches, and we marc

hamed of living in security and ease, leaving them to take all the hard blows. It is as if one

vilisation with her cruel sword, "Supply and Demand," beat them back, and they give way inch by inch,

e very quiet, and seemed a bit sleepy; and, as he looked savage, nobody disturbed him. People stepped in and out over hi

that he was standing in a pool of blood, and, looking to see where it came from, f

es sleepily and looked at him, gave a grin which may have implied pl

and saw a fearful gash in the groin, out of which oozed blood, and other thing

ions with banners and collection-boxes; not the poor that clamour round your soup kitchens and sing hymns at your tea meetings; but the poor that you don't know are poor until the tale is told at the coroner's inquest-the silent,

oy by any means. He was not quite so clean as are the good boys in the religious magazines, and

he country on a preaching tour. The lad earned six shillings a week as an errand-boy; and the mother stitched trousers, and on days when she was feeling strong and energetic would often make as much as tenpence, or even a shilling. Unfortunately

away altogether, and the candle shot up through the ceiling and beca

n the middle of the mattress you'll find a couple of pounds. I saved them up a long while ago. That

prom

elp me Ga

me Gawd,

ged her worldly affairs, lay

then, putting his household goods on a barrow, moved into cheaper

hich included a limited supply of milk. How he managed to keep himself and more than half keep the child on the remaining two shillings I cannot say. I only know that he did it, and that no

beggar, at the end of the time above mentio

might have been preserved." (He seemed to think it would have been better if the child's life h

im sullenly. "I promised my mother it sho

e wrote, urging that somebody-the ground landlord, or the Government, or some one of that sort-ought to do something for him. And everybody abused the local vestry. I really think some benefit to J

, and, when I had finished, we found it was nearly one o'clock. So, of