perhaps I was; but if I was, it had been a hardhearted world, and hard times that had made me so. I had learned to think much and bit
d, bitter cold as December, and bleak as its blasts, seemed the world then to me; there is no misanthrope like a boy disappointed; and such was I, with the warmth of me flogged out by adversi
" murmured I, as she charged me for the hundredth time
am off. I'll be back in four months-it will be autumn then, and we'll go in
ay to the place, where the steamboat was to leave for New York; instilling into me much sage advice above his age, for he was but eight years my senior, and warning me again and ag
giving out,-he was in ill health then,-and with a mute gr
long muddy road, lined with comfortable houses, whose inmates were taking their sunrise naps, heedless of the wayfa
hooting-jacket was on my back, and from the end of my brother's rifle hung a small bundle of my clothes. My fingers wor
. And never again can such blights be made good; they strike in too deep, and leave such a scar that the air of Paradise might not erase it. And it is a hard and cruel thing thus in early youth to taste beforehand the pangs which should be reserved for the
o unpleasant; and they were mostly congregated in the after cabin round the stoves. After breakfast, some of them went to read
ticket, and going to the captain's office to pay my passage and get one, was horror-struck to find, that the price of passage had been suddenly raised that day, owing to the other boats not running; so that I had not enough money to pay for my fare.
ws were set. For several hours, I sat gazing at a jovial party seated round a mahogany table, with some crackers and cheese, and wine and cigars. Their faces were flushed with the good dinner they had eaten; and mine felt pale and wan with a long fast. If I had presumed to offer to make one of their party; if I had told them of my circumstances, and solicited something to refresh me, I very well knew from the peculiar hollow ring of their laughter, they would have had the waiters put me out of the cabin, for a beggar, who had no business to be warming himself at their stove. And for that insult, though only a conceit, I sat and gazed at them, putting up no petitions for their prosperity. My whole soul was soured within me, and when at last the captain's clerk, a slender young man, dressed in the height of fashion, with a gold watch chain and broach, came round collecting the tickets, I buttoned up my coat to the throat, clutched my gun, put on my leather cap, and pulling it well down
two,"
ing," I answered;
going on shooting expeditions, without having money to pay their expenses; and hinted that such chaps might better
d his neck, and fixing my gaze on his, gave him more gazes than he sent. This somewhat embarrassed him, and he looked round for some one to take hold of me; but no one comin
eral persons starting to their feet, exclaimed that I must be crazy. So I was at that time; for otherwise I know not how to acco
dle, marched on deck, and walked there through the dreary storm, t
is bo