AN'S

It was strange, but I can't help myself but wonder what's s

of my classes, staring at me, watching me. It should be creepy, but I can't h

e abandoned area of the school as I shut my locker. I don't have money for lunc

my ankle checked, but I don't want to. They ask too

ool. Not a lot of people come here, in fact, ever since I discovered the place, I haven't seen a lot

ing my own solitude as I try to ge

sits themselves next to me and without looking I alrea

with his expressionless face and then he looks away. I watch him pull out a packet of cigarettes and pull out one and slips it in between his

being suffocated in my own space. I slowly look away, bringing my gaze back to my book

nna panic if he tries to talk to me. I've never been good with people. I don't even know how to start a conversation or even have one with people, especially strangers. Sitting this close to

om the noise and that's when I stumbled upon this place. It's quiet, lifeless and it feels a

ny attention because of Phoenix and I's proximity. We're not close, there's a lot of sp

ass and then he brings the stick back to his mouth, with his elbows on his knees as

n look right." He

eally sure he just talked to me. I stop my skimming, pr

Einstein." There's a teasing ton

p as I reply to his words

ward." I say, biting my bottom lip aga

ng a glance at him, only to see that he's alread

lly looks handsome when he laughs. I blush and l

alk. You seem like a really quiet guy." He says and I don't answer, st

duces himself, blowing m

o talk to me or even make an introduction. Nobody knows me in school, a

s he wan

elief, wondering why he's sitting next to me? He's the new boy and thanks to his parents, he's extreme

ould be out there, talking with more interesting peo

h, Norman?" He says my name

but he's not really looking at me. He's tossed his al

n your note when you got up to leave after math c

esturing to my romance book when I don't sa

He asks afterwards, pointing

Phoenix's piercing gaze and his fascinatin

want?" I ask

him interesting since I barely know him, but I don't think I'm ready for this conversation with him. Melissa is the only person I talk with during school, and sometime

ng to answer me as he jus

nstead, after the long uncomfortab

ety in check. Having to talk to someone is not easy for me and I'm trying my

the blue, surprised at my own audacity and

I just... I..." I stutter and trail off

ietly, clouding my v

" He says, chuckling

ay from the girls. It's always tiring. Plus, I needed to smoke a joint without breaking a bunch of school rul

er stick in complete silence. I appreciate it, but I'm wondering what's going through his head which I shouldn't hav

rm." Phoenix says as he scurries

nce, wondering why on Earth he just nicknamed me. And I hate

hell is wr

scares me. I don't want to go home. I can't, afraid I'm going to meet him in one of his moods. He's rarely sober, except when he has to be at work. He's just recently started this construction job and for a few hours before nightfa

cause this. Like where did I go wr

be my day off. Even when I asked Penny, the owner of the library, that I didn't want days off, she just smiled and told me I was young and in highs

go back home. Oftentimes, I sit at the park a few blocks from our house just s

I haven't had anything since yesterday afternoon. I think I

just so people won't notice my limping makes it worse. Outside the school gate, I see Phoenix with a younger girl with red hair. Probably his sister even if they don't look alike. He opens his car door fo

e's not staring at me. When I reach the library where I work, it's al

hat are you

shrug, drop

Are you okay? Have y

I don't want to go h

han me. I think he's twenty one. I've seen him once or twice in his mother's library before I even got a job

ngry?" Penny

as other missions. It growls loudly,

to people if you need anything. You know I'l

s and hands it to me. I look at it in her hand and take it. I find it strange when people show me care and love.

nks,

u to work today, okay? You can stay here

t please let me

aren't you? If you insist, there's a new batch o

." I a

ase use the

ead, honey." Pen

n the floor, and grab the telephone. I need to hear from Nixon today to be sure he's okay. I tried callin

. I just wanna be sure he's alright and safe. He's the only family I have left that

ay to the other pe

to speak with him." I plead, without waiting

e, pl

e, and other things he needed and then he tells me to h

e of my brother calls my nam

I'm already about to cry.

s past week wor

m fine, I'm okay, and I don't

getting

They refused bail

you hit a c

t ass

oing in New Jerse

I get back I'll tell you everything. I'm sorry I

ing the tears that are alread

This mor

onna ki

im. I just want you here. It's been hard, and I..." I s

soon, I promise. For now, I jus

d. "

ng on? Have you finally had the balls to t

?" I c

you know sh

not into her." I cringe when I imagine m

I don't even see her lik

like

stop." I whine. Nixo

nce I last heard that noi

me, thinking if I should

lls in the background and I know I won't

baby brother." And

n, but when? I want to scream at the world and everything in it

I'll always be the little scared

hate