ni

et. I need strength, backup. I pad into the kitchen and brew myself some coffee. I've had dinner like every other night, s

ubes of sugar and stir then I grab it, holding it between ever

h me, taking a sip of my coffee befo

bill, the water bill, the phone bill and lots more. I have outstanding debts on a few. They are a constant chokehold on me. The

ent, and it is no

th. It is exhausting, this feeling of inadequacy. Sometimes I think I should just get angry, I should lash out but this life of nothing is all I have ever known, it is what I was b

an feel like I'm doing something. For a long while now, my life has been a chugging engine of trying to stay alive with each passing day. If an artis

even if I have to take three shifts for three consecutive days. I put my cup to my lips and drain it slowly. Coffee before bed would probably keep

right now and I go to my mails immediately. I scroll for a few seconds before my scrolling sputters and dies down, no messages of acceptance from the myriad jobs I have applied to. I can't blame them. I only know how to wait tables and play a few t

tters I don't remember subscribing to. Some from social media, one from prison.

d I apply to every single one I can apply to and each day I wait and each day I am disappointed. But if I

o before and was turned down. And then right there, I scro

and S

y are a luxurious supplier of just about anything a home or w

ere is Tech and Savvy Electronics for home appliances as well as gadgets. Tech and Savvy Food sells

d beginning to hum. My skin is tight with contained excite

my body when I see the number below. Thousands have applied already. Thousands of others that saw this big opportunity and have mailed them their best responses. I stare at the huge number, increasing by the second. No doubt more than half of

the bold "Apply now" but

n. The last bit is the reason why I want the job. I cannot help but laugh humourless at that. The job will change my en

shoulders. I put the laptop back on my small ta

send a small prayer to God. If mirac