d a truckload of ideas about how to act crazy, maybe pull some Kicked Dog, some Spooked Deer and all, like Mom does. I even thought I could maybe drop a load in my pants or so

he gives me the fucken shiver, but the jail guards don't seem to notice her at all. I have an urge to ask her name, but I don't. I can imagine her saying, 'Why, I'm Graunley Stelt,' or 'Achtung Beed,' or something w

tercom hoots b

get my email

' says the r

ng our technology if you don't monitor the systems. I

rd, scowls at the monitor, then looks

e stereo rests beside one of them, with a notebook computer on top. At the back of the room stands a hospital bunk on wheels, with a towel ov

the client's

gh the door in a little tennis skirt or something. She doesn't though, not in the cold light of day. She trudges pas

y Little, how

s.' My Nikes

n you tell me abou

think I'm craz

ought I was bananas, but looking at Ole Mother Goosens just makes me want to tell him how I reall

my throat in a raft of bitter words. 'See, first everybody dissed me because my buddy was Mexican, then because he was weird, but I stood by him, I thought

lease continue to be candid - if you open yourself up to this process, in good faith,

y. And now everybody's calling

ink they might

goat, they want to

l something intangibl

any blame. He did all the shooting, I was just a witness, not even in

n you tell me abou

s pen still, and looks at me. He know

ith your mother. What can you t

cken ask me why. It just lies there on the floor, throbbing, glistening with gut-slime.

ng east. 'No uncles, or - other male

eally,

, then reaches over to rest a hand on my leg. 'Believe me, Jesus touched me too -

when you hear yourself fixing to bawl. 'Th

you been?'

up, runnin

t on trial here -

the way back from an err

hool ba

N

He leans his head over, as if the

a leak,

nt, outside school? At

an be kind of

ize the import of things. This would never happen to

osens's eyes. 'You

ll

fresh stool, situated away from the scene of the crimes - automatically r

suck information for the court, but here he is, prepared to take a chance and give me a revelation

you're kind of -

I draw circles on th

ndition - sphincter w

almost don't g

s upper lip. 'Alrighty, so tell

ur

ame a girl

r Figu

note in the file. 'Have you

nd

ber most about you

ell, I

entry. Then he sits back. 'Vernon - have you eve

wa

's see what we

softly at first, but growing in power, threatening, like a bear coming ou

some glory in a boy's soul.' He walks to the bed and smacks it

r me, please, and

dres

are medical doctors first, you know - don't

order to stop loose change falling from the pocket. Even though my loose change is in a plastic bag at the sheriff's offi

, pl

supermarket lighting, should only be felt by the dead. I'm a naked fucken

' says Goosens. '

uch of two fingers on my back. They trace a line down my

ading my cheeks. 'Does thi

TA, TA-

ingers, they trace a tightening circle around the rim of my hole. A l

nt like a tied hog. Jean-Claude would do it. James Bond would do it with a fucken cocktail in his hand. Me, I just squeak like

- in fact, don't be embarrassed if you experience arousal.' He grabs a pai

upright. Cobwebs of spit fly from my mouth. Go

tare through the goggles. The opposite of a school morning in winter is how fast I climb int

ur bail application.' He stops to sigh a moment, and shake his head. 'Remember there

the waiting room. Wedged between the blackest notes you c

nditry. I try not to think what his report will say. I just watch the scenery pass by my window. Dead products dot the roadside on the way back to town: an abandoned shopping cart, a sofa skeleton. Under a tree sits

life. Look around this life and all you see is folks' coupons tacked everywhere, what they'

f 'Grr-hrr-hrr' he will have learned off lard-ass Barry. I swear these guys must share that one joke around

petitioned the coun

e sherif

aded their in-suran

ld you

k sa

the morgue? What's he know

rance. Dropped Amway to

sh

, but these spazzos are in charge of my every twitch. What I'm starting to think is maybe only the dumb are safe in this world, the

as never even there, like the truth was my shadow alone. To stretch things even further, Mom calls to say Lally has been contracted to shoot another report from Martirio. It's typical of where things are at with Fate, slowing time down all over the place, calling the weirdes

itioners, letting any ole cat pass by, and cats letting any ole rat pass by, and rats - probably too fucken lathe

-a r

es disfigured with memories of black blood and gray skin dot the crowd. Kin of the fallen. Mr Lechuga stares death-rays at me, and he ain't even Max's real daddy. Lorna Sp

ring black and white. Judge Gurie catches his attention

ma'am - all the way to the d

k and waves it at the prosecutor. 'I have

y oppose bail

ounds?' ask

fraid he'll go down with it, and we'll never see him again!' A chuckle runs through the court. It stops at the ju

able and looks up. 'Is family

I mean anything new, like the - digestive cond

...' says Abdini,

son, 'we'd object to the court doi

ven't been instructed, so I

r a statement from the witness,

hing dies in the room. 'I was told no state

ter from CNN sourced it for us, in the public interest.' Motherfucker Lally

them. Is the defendant's alibi supp

le whereabouts of another firearm - I'm sure we all agree, th

then lays it down and peers at the prosecutor. 'Counsel, the actual murder weapon

ossibly

have t

ut officers are

seen the psychiatric report. In the absence of hard ev

between me and the bench, all the while juggling the decent, downtown skills that let them soak it up without

r to say we've had enough. We're fed up - outraged! - at these continual damned breaches of our rightful peace.'

s stable, if not very affluent background, he is a standing candidate to stand trial as an accessory to these crimes.' The typist looks over at my corral, probably to boost the polish on her own dumb kids. No

,' squeals a lady at the back.

liver Goosens, starting Monday, on an outpatient basis. Failure to comply with the doctor's schedu

, ma

'One more thing - if I were defending, I'd seriou

you,

. Instead of true joy, I feel waves; the kind that make you look forward to the smell of laundry on a rainy Saturday, the type of drippy hormones that trick you into saying I Love You. Security they fucken call it. Watch

gun y'all are looking for.' To be honest, the gun ain't such a big deal. The fingerprints on the gun are my fucken problem. Thinking about it b

her brand-new Cadillac to get past. Mrs Binney doesn't wave today. She pretends not to see me. Instead she watches Ab

ni, like he's me, or we're fucken brothers or something. 'And

r, and everybody speaks haltingly. The one where the rookie cop decides whether to be a bag-man for bribes, or to blow his crusty partner's cover. I personally wouldn't recommend playin

the other side of the car,' she'll tell you if you ever bring it up. I only brought it up once. 'Might as well throw the darned pedal out the door.

of meals did you

lar s

e, pork 'n' beans? D

rea

Lo

ch takes him camping, and teaches him self-respect, you've seen that show, with electric piano notes tinkling in the background, soft as ovaries hitting oatmeal. When you hear that piano it means somebody's hugging, or a woman is crumpling her lips with overwhelming joy, down by a lake. Boy, the

ome?'

e fridge deliv

re ki

ng through a lot. No

be one lo

een in a few days. We won't let

ng I do when we turn into Beulah Drive is check for Lally's van. I try to see past a knot of reporters in the road, but then the Seldome Motel's new minibus pulls up by

r ma,' says Pam through

comin

w.' Playing pinball is h

up the familiar whiff of ketchup and wood polish. All's quiet inside, except for the TV. I go to leave the fries on

sure I heard

s M

ugh, Lalito,