ike you're n

d. And a tad

re not,"

e all laughing because it's so small,

it in your pants a bit more, and we

the whisky over the ice. "I probably des

a little. The last thing I meant to do was hurt his f

guy. Good looking, funny, and warm-hearted. Women are going to clamber o

d. Mack introduced us, and as I felt as if I'd been hit between the eyes with a cricket ball. Even back then, Huxley was tall and gorgeous, but it was his manner that won me over-he was funny, warm, and attentive, and right from the start I knew he liked me. We went on a couple of dates-the first to the cinema, and f

xley mysteriously disappeared for two weeks, and I didn't he

m my laptop to see him standing there, leaning against one of the bookcases, his ha

atte and sat me down, and then he told me what had happened. A girl he'd slept with a few m

dating, which was something, I guess

ging on my ribs. "You fucking idi

t happens, unfortunately." He seemed very calm about it. But

ing back with

nd. Neither of us wants a relationship. Bu

able guy. There was no alternate universe in

e third date. Surely it was better that I hadn't slept with him? But as I sat there, lo

t," I

hem. So we're going to say we're an item for now. I'll have to see a lot more of her, and I want to be there when she

, swallo

sorry,"

ere over. We hadn't even got off th

d things have settled down, I'll ask you out

" Disappointed and h

eing angry. I know I've blown it with you. And I'm a

he table. "I don't think I'm that big a p

as if we were engaged or anything. I was nineteen years old, and I wasn't going to let this destroy me. It wasn't his fault. Well, technically it was, but he was right-shit

we remained friends. When his daughter was born, I went out with all our mates and celebrated wit

randy, putting his arm around her, being sweet to her, taking care of her, broke me every time. He'd told me it was all preten

e day after Joanna was

id. I thought about nothing else for s

e I saw them together, he was gentle and affectionate toward her. Deep down I couldn't shake the notion that they had feelings for each other, and I couldn't have coped with that

d, we stayed

before Huxley also finally started dating someone else. His relationship was more short-lived than mine. When I eventually br

er under the bridge for us to make a go of things. I've had three failed-no, let's be honest and call them what they are: disastrous-re

o get a chance. But it's late, and quiet. Ian the bartender has just gone out with a crate of empty glasses, and there are on

ds and take a deep breath. "I won

f course." I nibble my bottom lip, an

rvous,"

e looks

s flicker with pity. "And that's all right, I've come to terms with that. I don't want another relations

ise. He hadn't

ly got the words out. "And I've talked to them about having a sperm donor. But th

es

personal donor. And so... um... I wan