ly, trying to comprehend what had hap

y, with a dark look on her

orn off. She said something about dinner and then turned on

I felt paralyzed. Like rigor mortis, I thought myself, imagining his body as it reached th

ally and collapsed when I remembered the previous day. My mom's reque

and listen to music. We had bonded over our similar tasste in music and our love of art. Finally, my freshman year came and I went to high school with him. Nate introduced me to his group of friends and I was so happy that they accepted me. I didn't have many friends in my year. It was a year of firsts for me and Nate seemed so happy that I was with him. It wasn't until the winter of my sophomore year that things began to change wit

I knew that he was gone forever. After spending a day sitting on the couch thinking and crying, I looked down at the black heart I had drawn on my wrist during third period the day before. It caught my e

the creases that hadn't washed off and I cried as I remembered, it was Nate's blood. My heart felt like it was being crushed within my chest as I remembered his eyes. I fell to my knees because of the pain in my chest and my empty stomach felt twisted uncomfortably and hollow. I grabbed some black scissors from in the cabinet and before I knew what I was thinking I swiped the scissors through the heart I

opped coming. I pulled myself painfully together and took a quite needed shower. I washed off all the blood and tried to wash away my sorrow along with it. The bleeding seemed to release some of the pressure and stress, sort of like crying. I felt hazy though and guessed; by the damp towel that I had lost enough blood to dehydrate myself. When I finally finished cleaning the bathroom and throwing my blood-soaked clothes and the towel in the laundry, I bandaged my wrist careful not to let anything show and put on a leather wristband to hide it. I felt empty now like I had lost all my emotion and energy. I felt like I had bled some of it away and the rest I pushed to the back of my brain.