realized that this child had a strong aversion to dairy products. It felt strange realizing that the things I used to like to eat didn't matter anymore. A

time, and I invested most of my time in resear

mmie for lunch first; then, we were going for my first ultrasound appointment later. As soon as my alarm went off, I qu

gized profusely. "I wasn't

tiny teeth. "Look at her. She's just having the time of her li

st so beautiful. I felt tears coming on, yet another thing that my

The woman asked wit

ossible. When I finally got to Tammie, I threw myself into h

mones," I said when I

my attempt to lighten t

sat down at our table. Luckily, we were seated outsid

frowned. "Isn't it supposed to be the opposite

of trouble with morning sickness, bu

hang of the spontaneo

d smiled. "Don't I look

ed my hand. "I've never

ess was welling inside of me as I thought I wouldn't get to have that with my child. Tammie

ending downloading an application on my phone to track the baby's size. The baby was currently the size of a kidney bean. I thought of how amazing it was that such a tiny thing would grow like th

faceless person to me, just a little kidney bean, but it would be someone with a whole personality someday. Would it have my red hair or Michael's brown hair? I suddenly felt protective of my unborn child

I sobbed, w

time is always the most emotional. Almost

. The doctor finished the ultrasound, gave us a printed

y baby away," I blurted, earnin

you s

They are a part of me that I'm unwilling to part with. And I know it's not all rose

ad

bump into years from now? If they are the right age, I'll wonder if that's my

was twenty-two and thinking of becoming a mother. But I was already a mother in some ways, having taken care of my little

got your back, always. Call

"Thank you, Tamz. I'll need all

ppy to pick up your baby with a dirty di

"Got it. I'll have him potty traine

" she po

r," I

urn out to be a little girl who took after me. Or a litt