ard'

f from breaking down completely. I sniffle, hoping it will a

re trembling so badly that I momentarily think of calling a cab to pick me up instead of driving mysel

the risk of losing control. I might end up doing something reckless,

t just

onsuming me. I want to slap her across the fac

hing but pain. To think I believed she wa

es sense. He probably returned because of her. Who knows if they've been together in London this entire ti

just saw or the cruel things I said to Ar

as unmistakable. But I ignored it bec

s happy. I studied business because my fathe

o study because it

my master's degree because I wasn't all

sion-maker in my life. She was the one who introduc

d wanted no part of this arrangement. But when my mother cried an

f, as a companion in her loneliness. I had seen Arabel a few times at o

ision for a long tim

we were over. So, I told her everything. I explained that it was temporary-that Arabel wo

to two, then three

s finally time

me out of my thoughts. I quickly pull ove

do now? What do I say

k. I won't let Eve have that power over me. S

the car. This time, I drive slowly toward home, my mind racing

ith Eve during my marriage, even though he was one of those who

er a year, and at the time, it sounded reasonabl

still dating Eve. But I convinced myself it was okay because it was Eve

came dangerously close to having sex, which was

ainful enough; I didn't want to a

ering: How long has this

nstead on Arabel. What will I say to her when I get home

rce anymore, but ho

derstanding. I'm confident she won't hold a grudge. All I n

it was all a misun

I wanted to leave her for Eve, and now, aft

clenching my fists to stop myself from ve

y drained. No matter how hard I try to push the image of Eve

er and regret. The butler opens the door, b

ht to Arabel's. I hesitate for a moment ou

expecting her to

th

he c

or, straining to hear, b

uder this time. S

I push the door op

et, her closet wide op

s I rush to confi

her things

ument sitting on the

g through until I

heet of paper slips from the

my breath catches as I read t

you. Go