h's

t like a dif

tan, I was overwhelmed. The noise, the people, the energy. Everything moved

here alone-knowing this wasn't a vacation, knowing th

gripping the handle of my suitcase,

This is real

had spent years working for this, pouring myself into sch

on

out

throat and forced myself

ng dorm experience with instant best-fri

ted by the sharp scent of expensive perfume and the sight

ely glan

tantly, wheeling m

makeup, barely looked up from her phon

as flat. Di

azine kind of beauty-didn't even bother saying hi. She just kept

an uncomfortable weig

't what I

me polite introductions, maybe even an awkward

tely clear, that I was ju

utsi

ying again. "Nice

ed Rachel-gave me a vague smile before

didn't even preten

ea

ty bed-the one that was clearly mi

fun college room

iness of

ew days wer

e at people, made awkward small talk. I met classmates, exchanged social m

ad never fel

uld be like, but I had never really thought about

ity where no

where no one cared

ght, pretending that I was

ing, her voice warm and confident. "The fir

trying to

own, I was

aking

ly two weeks b

the laundry roo

spend the next hour waiting for my clothes to wash. But when I

ing iced coffees, acting like best frien

ht feeling in my th

idn

pt-I

s on the outside of everything. Like I was just

ffortlessly comfortable, so completely unint

y heel and wa

here I was goin

. Down the crowded city streets, past

realized I had ended up i

psed onto it, gripping my phone

t so

t someone who fell apar

, it wa

d watching my roommates laugh like I wasn't even there. It was h

ed to

ted L

something