by the tim

text. No e

e and space

wer chances to mess up. But it only reminded me how alien thi

ists. The way she curled her "r"s in writing, how she signed her name with a little fl

smiled, nodded, made polite small talk,

takes. Not when the s

dy crosse

make sure no

I ate in t

best friend, Vanessa, like

's mother was organizing next week. One of them was dee

e it a

rved at 7:30.

d the sound of

as h

time, I wasn't sur

. He paused when he saw me in the dining room, hands re

ill awake,

early,"

lled f

t studied me. Eyes sharper th

rand of hair

ng okay?"

lowly, unbutto

different lat

ach tig

erent

Less...

be I'm finally settlin

. "That's what t

mean it

me, then picked up the wine

w, "what it would've been like if we ch

line hit som

ke this. Not to me,his wife.

n," I said before

ed up s

ha

know each other.

time, like trying to read b

d, "Alright. Let's start no

fr

hing

ke fire behind my r

I was ten," I said. "Bitt

"I would've

abou

to jump off the roof into

d y

e my

. Genuine

nt, it fel

something nor

You should wear

ked. "

id, lifting his gl

read up

a momen

all. You sh

ike that,

thing ha

e married. And for the first time, I w

rning, I ha

n't give her name. Jus

urse,

her hair pulled into a messy bun. She looked

st garden, where

rtable," she sa

iving," I

r supposed to

plan for a

. Instead, she han

t's

trembling. "From my last doctor's

ed it

ert

repeated abortions. Un

lt s

w m

pered. "Before I

ora.

who knows. The only

e envelope, h

ver planning

ing. "But he doesn't love me. He neve

d n

at you like

oked

nk he su

But he's n

want me to

deal. We switch until he get

I'll just

ion changed

s the ag

agree to l

o matter how hard you pre

d up s

st have to survive long enoug

at do y

n't a

didn't kno

that. Without

Adrian didn'

morning, a p

in. No sen

as a bab

letters across the che

it like

saw t

e, hand

m what h

. No si

t t

ared in

one

about t

the

ch

h

hours later, un

sed my

if I'd

canceled an

ething that made

ing again," he murmured

, heart

one was alre

wasn't

out before I had a

the real danger is how much of myself I'm starting to lose i