Experience a month in the life of the devil, and see that it is not all brimstone and roses. Note: this book is absolutely not fit for people who hold their religious beliefs close, and can't take a good laugh at things.
Dear diary.
It was quite the day again. It started off nicely, with the lawns all clean, the clientèle mostly happy and even the workers did not seem to have much of a problem with everything. Of course, there were the usual petty things, but nothing to get worked up about. Well, not until the afternoon anyway. That is when the stuff that you don't want to tread on really hit the ventilation systems. Urgh. Ventilation systems. Don't want to hear about those in a LONG time!
It started with someone coming in, complaining about sore eyes. Sore eyes what? The guy muttered something about smoke, but was mostly incoherent, so I told him to see a medic, get his eyes checked and don't bug me as there was more stuff on my desk to handle. You'd think that people around here would be able to take care of themselves, wouldn't you?
Anyway, about an hour later a few more people came in who had asked to see me. Maurice showed them in. Man, did they look sad!! So what could I do. I asked them what their problem was, hoping it was not another set of sore eyes. But that was not the case. Unfortunately.
They said they were the day-shift operators of the smoke machine in the Christian section. It took a while, with all their complaining and cursing, before I found out that the ventilating machine is malfunctioning.
So I asked them why they did not fix it. Well, they did. Or rather: they had tried. And it had not really yielded the results they had aimed for. The idiots broke it even further. Well, that at least gave me a clue why that other guy had shown up with smoked up sore eyes. Thanks a lot, folks.
So I had to call up a repair crew for the venting system of the Christian section. They could have done that themselves, but they waved their contract to me. There was some glitch in it, that they were not responsible for stuff like that, and so they expected me to do all that. Dammit.
After that these folks left and refused to go back to work until the problem was fixed. Right, I can understand that. Hanging out in a room that is filled with smoke is not something a person would opt for when they are in control of their full mental capabilities. But hey, it takes all kinds to make the world go round, as they say there. And they're right. We have a space for everyone here. (Sounds like a motto, maybe we should have banners like that. Must talk to Maurice about that.)
So I made my way down to the Christian section. It had been a while since I went there, so basically that was a good thing happening with a bad thing. Too bad the day-shift operators neglected to inform me that the elevator had broken down as well, so I had to go down all these stairs! Do you know how deep down that pit is? Blimey, I should have been smarter when I dug out that hole. I am sure there are tricks we can do with mirrors and such. Better planning next time.
But all well and good, I get to the bottom there, locate the smoke machine engine room and decide to switch off that thing completely until the air conditioning system is up and running again. Okay, that would keep the operators away, no more complaining from them and all things are cherry. Hah. Forget about that.
There I was, coughing from the smoke, and hauling myself up the stairs again. I almost made it to the exit, when Humphrey, one of the managers of the Christian section, came chasing after me. You never had dealings with him, and believe me: you do not want dealings with him.
He went off at me, demanding an explanation for the sudden absence of smoke. I explained to him that the operators could not work the machine because of the ventilation and so on. He understood that, but he wanted to know when the bloody thing was getting fixed.
"We have a reputation to uphold, you know, " he said to me, "and we don't want to cut back on services. Our local clients expect smoke among other things, and smoke then is what they will have."
So I asked him what he was going to do about that. Hire a bunch of smokers and stuff their faces with cigarettes?
And honest, as real as I am writing this, the bugger's face lit up and thanked me for the idea. Wow. I had not expected to get rid of him that easily. And of course I didn't.
When I finally made it to the top of the stairs, my phone rang and it was the same guy again, Humphrey. Could I please provide a truckload of cigarettes, and would it be okay for the smokers to use the room where usually the smoke system operators sit, because otherwise the cigarettes would be reduced to ashes before they had a real good puff. (Haha, that's funny.)
So I called Maurice to first check the operator's contracts. I don't want my ass chewed over the fact that there are smokers in the operator room, causing a bad health environment. But according to Maurice there was no clause in the contract about that, so I gave the manager the okay for the smokes. You have to take a chance at times. But I did tell Maurice to modify the contract for eventualities like that, so we are safe for future events from now on.
On the way back I saw a few folks heading towards the pit. I asked them where they were going and learnt that they were actually the repair crew. They were going to have a look at the thing, to see what needed fixing. I told them about the elevator and that they had to fix that also. But they said that they were not the elevator repair people and I had to call another division for that.
Somewhere something has gone terribly wrong here, diary. I am seriously considering to raise a new Hell and see how I can avoid all these things next time. Shiver me timbers, or what is it that pirates say.
On the way back to the house I met a bunch of souls that were not all too steady on their feet. After my asking them what was wrong with them, they explained that there was nothing wrong. They were Pagan souls that had been out and about for Samhain. Oh, right. Halloween. So what has taken you so long to come back here, I asked them.
They had a bit of difficulty finding the right words when they started talking, and they also had problems remembering that everyone talking at once makes for hard understanding. Finally they managed to inform me that they had popped over to a pub where the living had set up food and drink for the ancestors, and the drink had been mead. Mead that had been flowing liberally too.
And that was the reason they were not all that stable on their feet, and it had also very much affected their sense of direction. I hope they are not making a habit out of that, because then THEIR mead will give ME a headache! I told them that they were way off course also, since they usually have no business in or near the Christian section. They immediately had funny ideas of playing ghost there, but I told them that they were missing the point, as there were no living souls there that would be scared of them.
The drunk Pagans were a bit disappointed about that, but that did not last long. Lacking someone near, I took them out of the Christian section myself, guided them through a shortcut through the African section (which I hope they don't remember later) and then delivered them in their own area again. Good thing too, most others there were already looking for these guys, so that was a deed well done.
When I got back to the house, Maurice handed me a note that had come in from Pete. You guessed it, it was about the smoke. Pete kindly requested that I take care of the smoke problem they had experienced for some hours in Heaven. Their clients should not have to deal with things like that, as they had lived decent lives and therefore were selected for a pleasant afterlife
"If we want smoke, we'll organise a barbecue, " he wrote. Yeah, he does have a good sense of humour, the old chap. Well, sod them anyway, I have other things on my hands than that. But at least the repair crew was working on the ventilation system. Now I just hope that the smokers don't blow it (haha, that's funny), I can do without these notes. Pete's a really nice guy but when he gets miffed about something, he really becomes a pain in the rear end.
I do have to remember to fill out and send the order for new oil and coal for the old "eastern block" section, they let me know that their supplies are running low. There's a genuine problem with the mindset of these guys, they don't seem able to place that order themselves. All has to be done in their bureaucratic ways, every level doing its own thing and nobody ever dares to venture into something new. Bloody Bolsheviks with their forms and stamps. Oil. Coal. And there was something else. Maurice will know.
The elevator repair group called me just now and told me that they will go and have a look at the elevator in the Christian section somewhere next week. They have a lot of their people out on trainings. There are some new automatic escalators, and some clever sausage managed to make them responsible for maintenance on those things too. Way to go, I should find the guy who pulled that off and give him a bonus. And make him an assistant or something.
I do hope that Humphrey, the manager there, is going to lay low for a while. Must remember to send him a note that the repair team will be with him as soon as they can.
There was an interesting tidbit in the mail today. A big brochure from a company that has a really new approach to the core business: a high-tech setup for Hell. Sounds interesting. The pictures are very appealing also, lots of gleaming chrome, interesting electrical appliances and stuff like that. I am sure that especially the Americans here will appreciate stuff like that. I must ask Maurice to give these guys a call and see if they have something more that I can have a look at. Maurice will handle the technical stuff, I don't want to get caught up in that as well. And he likes all that stuff, so good for him.
Right. I should be getting myself cleaned up now. A visit to that smoky pit makes for a messy appearance, and I am up for a poker game with Pete, Gabe and Baal this evening. Long time ago that we had such a relaxed night, we should do that more. Pete said he'd supply the drinks and knowing him he'll be bringing the really good stuff. Hah, the pope would cry his eyes out if he knew about that!
Oh, shit, still need to get that container of cigarettes out, before Humphrey comes after me again... Hope I won't show up late for the poker game.
When Paul Eric Carmichael, an older British astrophysicist, meets Sandy, a young girl from the United States, his life goes overboard in more than one way. As he tries to make sense of it all, he learns things about aliens and their mysterious devices. In his work he faces challenges as well, because what are those strange flying objects that seem to be heading towards our solar system?
This is the story of the Mimosa, a black sailing ship (with red sails) that travels through space, and boldly appears where no space-faring, black sailing ship has appeared before, regardless of the colour of its sails.
The appearance of The Black Flyer, a television super hero, shakes up the city of Green Haven. A group of role playing gamers wonders why the police and the army are apparently helpless against this super hero who doesn't act like the TV original and decide to take him on themselves.
Kallie, a mute who had been ignored by her husband for five years since their wedding, also suffered the loss of her pregnancy due to her cruel mother-in-law. After the divorce, she learned that her ex-husband had quickly gotten engaged to the woman he truly loved. Holding her slightly rounded belly, she realized that he had never really cared for her. Determined, she left him behind, treating him as a stranger. Yet, after she left, he scoured the globe in search of her. When their paths crossed once more, Kallie had already found new happiness. For the first time, he pleaded humbly, "Please don't leave me..." But Kallie's response was firm and dismissive, cutting through any lingering ties. "Get lost!"
Two years ago, Ricky found himself coerced into marrying Emma to protect the woman he cherished. From Ricky's perspective, Emma was despicable, resorting to underhanded schemes to ensure their marriage. He maintained a distant and cold attitude toward her, reserving his warmth for another. Yet, Emma remained wholeheartedly dedicated to Ricky for more than ten years. As she grew weary and considered relinquishing her efforts, Ricky was seized by a sudden fear. Only when Emma's life teetered on the edge, pregnant with Ricky's child, did he recognize-the love of his life had always been Emma.
Loraine was a dutiful wife to Marco since they got married three years ago. However, he treated her like trash. Nothing she did softened his heart. One day, Loraine got fed up with it all. She asked him for a divorce and left him to enjoy with his mistress. The elites looked at her like she was deranged. "Are you out of your mind? Why are you so willing to divorce him?" "It's because I need to return home to get a billion-dollar fortune. Besides, I don't love him anymore," Loraine replied with a smile. They all laughed at her. Some believed that the divorce affected her mentally. It wasn't until the next day that they realized she wasn't fibbing. A woman was suddenly declared the world's youngest female billionaire. It turned out to be Loraine! Marco was shocked to the bone. When he met his ex-wife again, she was a changed person. A group of handsome young men surrounded her. She was smiling at them all. The sight made Marco's heart ache severely. Putting his pride aside, he tried to win her back. "Hello, love. I see that you are a billionaire now. You shouldn't be with suckers who just want your money. How about you come back to me? I'm a billionaire too. Together, we can build a strong empire. What do you say?" Loraine squinted at her ex-husband with her lips curled in disgust.
The Lloyds' family had only one son, Xavier. He was a billionaire businessman. He was dubbed the "contemporary Midas." They call it the Xavier touch since every firm he owns succeeds. All of his business rivals would do anything, if not everything, to see him lose his touch. His father demanded that she marry soon, or he would find him a wife. But he had no desire to marry. Eunice Dawson, an illegitimate kid, has been living with her father and his family since her mother died. She stated that she intended to lead a normal life. However, things are growing more difficult. Her stepmother and half-sister are not fond of her. Her boyfriend, whom she thought loved her, abandoned her in favor of Irene, her step-sister. Her father was never angry with Irene, instead telling her to just let things go. that her lover was more interested in Irene than in her. She felt lonely and heartbroken. What is Xavier's reason for not desiring a wife? What would happen if Eunice ran away from her father's home?
"The entire wealthy circle in Seattle knew how much Stella Carlson loved Aaron Malone. People watched the childhood sweethearts grow from inexperience to maturity, finally getting married in a grand wedding ceremony. On the day of the wedding, despite the alliance between the Carlson and Malone families, the groom ran away. Stella knew that Aaron had rushed to L.A. to take care of his ex-girlfriend, who had attempted suicide. Unwilling to become the laughingstock of all Seattle, she gritted her teeth and dialed the number of her adversary, her tone almost commanding, "Ethan, come and marry me now. This is your only chance for revenge." On the other end, Ethan Powers raised an eyebrow as he gripped his phone, staring at the floor littered with cigarette butts. "Did the groom run away?" he asked. "My darling."
Ava Adler was a nerdy omega. People bullied her because they thought she was ugly and unattractive. But Ava secretly loved the bad boy, Ian Dawson. He was the future Alpha of the Mystic Shadow Pack. However, he never gave a damn about rules and laws, as he only liked to play around with girls. Ava was unaware of Ian's arrogance until her fate intertwined with his. He neglected her and hurt her deeply. What would happen when Ava turned out to be a beautiful girl who could win over any boy, and Ian looked back and regretted his decisions? What if she had a secret identity that she had yet to discover? What if the tables turned and Ian begged her not to leave him?