Aethelred Roberts has nothing except her hard-earned education that she's trying so hard to finish so she could be successful. But everything changed into a full romance saga when she met the so-called smart and handsome Caden Lewis.
PROLOGUE
Pain and disappointments. That's what I could feel. Sometimes I just wanna be lost in this painful world. Sometimes, I wanna be someone else, someone else who has a good life, who has everything, someone who doesn't have a problem.
Can I be that person?
"Please...Mrs. Dawson! I promise I'll pay you this month give me one more chance-"
"Aethelred! I've already given you enough chance! And how could you give money when you just lost your job?!" Mrs. Dawson said angrily. Tears streamed down my face. I know. I am broke. Inside and outside, I am broke. And it breaks my heart so much every time I'd think that I don't have anyone to hold on to. That this time, I'd be alone forever.
"I am sure I could find another job and I promise you're the first one I will pay once I get my salary!" I desperately said.
"Why are you choosing to be like this instead of asking for help with your boyfriend? He can help you, Aethelred-"
"Mrs. Dawson, I can solve this on my own! It's my problem and Caden has nothing to do with it!" I cut her off. Why does everyone say that? Why does everyone think that I can't do it on my own? Why does everyone expect me to beg for help with my boyfriend when I know that I can do it alone?
"That's what your pride talking, Aethelred! But pride can't give you money, remember that. I'll give you one week and if you can't still pay me, I'll report you to the police!" she spat angrily and walked out.
I swallowed hard and tiredly lean on the wall of my house's door. I feel so worn out. These past few days I can't even sleep. These past few days...my smiles for him were fake. I closed the door of my house and couldn't help but space out.
I am trying so hard to be strong because I don't want him to get worried. I thought everything is going fine. I thought...that we'll be finally happy, but I was blind to the problems that has to come. And now it's happening. It's happening yet I don't even know what to do.
Tears are still streaming down my face as I heard my phone beep for a message. I slowly get my phone and stared at the message I'd read.
Caden:
Why aren't you calling me? It's been days, Aethelred. I already gave you enough time.
I cried more as I read that message. I covered my mouth to stop my sobs from coming out. My heart is breaking so much. Just reading his message makes my heart break into little, tiny pieces. And no one could ever fix it.
Can I still do this? Can I still make things, right?
Can I still stay with him forever? Can I still hold to him when I know it's already hopeless?
Maybe we aren't just meant to be. Maybe I am not for him, and he's not for me either. If he's really for me...it won't be this hard. If he's really mine...it won't be this difficult to have him.
As I scrolled my gallery with our photos my cries filled the four corners of my house as I reminisce our days together. Caden Lewis...all my life I feel so wrong existing in this world but when you came...everything suddenly feels so right every time your warmth embraced me.
"You're not for him, Aethelred. You're like just trash-tainting my son's name if you stay with him. I know it'll be painful, but I think it's best for you to stay away from him," that's what his mother's words to me. All my life, I've been called trash. I've been called so many hurtful words, but nothing could be more painful than hearing Caden's mother ask me to stay away from his son.
"I love him, ma'am. More than my life. Yes, I am trash. Compared to him I am nothing. But because of him, I found my place in this world. So, no ma'am...I won't ever leave him," that's what I said to Caden's mother after asking me to stay away from his son.
My first choice was to stay with Caden no matter what. My choice was to be with him forever. But...can I still stay when everything is now falling apart?
Caden's family is influential. They are rich. They are a huge thing when it comes to our economy. They are a family of professionals. While I am just a mere human, living in this cruel world. My mother died when I was young. My father became an addict and killed someone while he was in the casino gambling the last money that my mother left to me. My father was locked in prison, so I was left alone, trying to be the best on my own.
Maybe that's why Caden's family won't like me. I am far from their expectations. I am far from the standards that a girl wants to be with Caden.
"I'll give you no choice, Aethelred. You'll lose your job and go back to the mud where you come from...I'll not stop until you leave my son...alone," Caden's mother threatens me.
I chose Caden. I chose him even though I am struggling to get back on my own. I lost my job. I lost everything again. I told Caden to cool off in the meantime. He was confused but he let me, even though it was against his will. But it was just my way to hide all the things I am facing right now. I don't want him to see this. I don't want him to get involved. I don't want him to fight his family just for...me.
That's why reading his message break me so much. So much, I feel like dying.
"Aethelred...the longer I see you like this...the faster I could conclude that your relationship with Caden is becoming toxic," Jane told me when I visit her apartment, she's my only friend and the only one I could trust at this moment. I was asking her to help me find a job until we touched on this topic.
"He's the only one I have, Jane-"
"Then what about you?! You'd wait to get starve and die first before you stop it with him?!" she burst out. I swallowed hard and looked away. My heart is breaking again. Every time we'll talk about this, I can't help but cry.
"Then what should I do?" my voice broke. Damn! I don't want it to happen. I want to hold on to him as long as I can...but...how long? How long could I endure everything?
"If you can't leave him, then tell him everything, Aethelred!" Jane said. I shook my head as tears pooled down my eyes.
"I can't. I'd be more guilty if I'll be the reason for his family's despisement of him. You know that I know how to live without my family, and I don't want him to experience the same thing." I cried. Jane looked at me with pity in her eyes. She went near me and hugged me so tight. I cried on her chest.
"Don't worry...I'll help you...I'll help you escape that family...I'll help you escape...Caden..." she whispered trying to soothe me in pain and sorrow.
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