The engineer private nurse

i- Angel Rafflesia

Raffa's POV

"Raffa, hey! I need your attention. Are you okay?" Doc Cian asked worriedly. Tears rolled down my face looking at him.

His eyebrows met more when he saw me. "Why is there a problem?" He asked and put his arm around me. I shook my head even though I knew there was a real problem.

I had many questions and problems in those moments.

Why did he do that? What happened to him? Why do I have to take care of him?

"Doc..." I said full of doubt. I really wanted to withdraw my signature and reject him, but when I saw how happy he was when I agreed to be a private nurse, I still wanted to continue.

"What happened to you? Are you worried that my friend might do something to you? That's good, he won't do anything bad to you. He won't hurt you." He said convincingly to me.

That's not it, Doc. I hurt him and I can't show him yet.

I couldn't tell Doc Cian that because I was afraid of what he would say to me. Maybe later he will hate me because I hurt his friend.

"Don't you want to be Harris's personal nurse, Raffa?" He asked sadly, as if he could guess what I was thinking. I looked at him and saw sadness and disappointment on his face.

Raffa, please let it go. How much Doc Cian helped you. Even there you can recover.

I took a deep breath and faced him. "No Doc. I will be your friend's personal nurse." I swallowed hard and said to him. I saw the joy on his face when I said that. I can no longer refuse, Doc Cian is very happy with my consent.

He held my hand. "Thank you very much, Raffa. Thank you very much," he said sincerely, which is why I really couldn't say no.

But.. I still can't bear to see Harris. I can't yet.

I avoided going to the room Doc Cian told me earlier where Harris was. I'm not ready to see him yet. Not now.

I'm here at the nurse's station and I'm sitting. We don't have many patients and I'm assigned here now. I am the one who answers people who ask where their admitted relatives are and what else. I'm only here for a while because my area is E.R.

I turned to the man who was walking slowly and seemed to be talking on the cellphone. He was too tall that's why he caught my attention. I was nervous to see who he was.

He was wearing a polo shirt and behind him was hanging a container with a blue print. Even when he was walking, I could see his whole body. His face matured, his body got bigger, whiter and handsomer.

I was full of wonder. I thought Harris hadn't woken up yet? Why is he here and he seems to be doing so well? My confusion disappeared when the person I was looking at started to speak.

"Mommy, Calli is here. I can go to the site, I'll call you later," I heard Harren say-- he is Harris' twin. I recognized him because his two deep dimples appeared with every word he said. That's where they differ. Harren has two dimples, Harris doesn't have any but he has a very nice smile.

When I saw Harren I turned around. I'm afraid that he might see me, that he might be angry with me because I hurt his twin too much. I grabbed my chest. I feel a very strong heartbeat.

I've only seen Harren, this is how it affects me. Maybe because they look alike. I was nervous and my hands were sweating.

I heard the closing of the hospital's automatic door, he was already out, so I faced him again. A nurse was needed in the E.R. so I went there. I chose not to think about Harris while I was at work. I can't lose my concentration while helping people in need.

My work day is over. I worked overtime so my duty ended at ten o'clock. I took my backpack and rented a tricycle.

I rode a tricycle to go home. I even asked the tricycle driver that we stop at the fastfood chain because I'm going to buy my son's breakfast for tomorrow, I'll just heat it up.

Maybe Emi is asleep. He didn't catch me coming home again. After all, I'd rather he not wait for me and go to bed early.

The road is quiet, the only noise on the road is the sound of the tricycle I ride. I welcome the cold air.

"Brother, here's the payment." I caught up with the tricycle driver when we got home.

"Thank you," He said before starting the tricycle again.

I looked around the house before I entered. It's small but it fits mom, brother and Emi. I can't believe that fate will bring us here in Pampanga, where my ex-boyfriend's family lives.

I went to elementary school in Ilo-Ilo because that's where our hometown is. Because we couldn't pay the rent, we were evicted. We landed in Manila and lived before, at my aunt's house. I graduated from high school there and two years in college, I also met him in Manila. But fate tested us again so my aunt once again kicked us out due to the amount of debt we owed her. Until we found a home here in Pampanga.

The lights are off. People must be sleeping. I opened the door slowly, thank you and brother Aven didn't lock it because it would be embarrassing if I woke up.

I went to my room with Emi, I opened it slowly so as not to make any noise. I saw him, his whole body covered with a blanket. Not sleeping because the shoulders are moving.

My child is crying again.

"Emi, mom is here." I said weakly. His shoulders stopped moving and he sat on the bed. He hasn't faced me yet because he has secretly wiped away his tears which I have already seen.

"Mama," he said quietly and hugged me tightly. I feel the longing in that hug.

"Why are you still awake?" I asked him. He left my embrace and bowed.

"Maybe uncle Aven scolded you again, right? The TV is off but you're awake." I heard her sobbing. I shook my head and felt annoyed as I slowly confirmed that my suspicions were correct because of what he was doing.

I lifted his head with my two hands. He was sniffling, his nose was red, and his eyes were puffy. He did cry.

I watched his face. Harris and I are a mixed version of Emi, the shape of the face and eyes are mine. He got the nose and lips as well as how to smile from Harris. She was very beautiful, but always sad.

I looked straight into his eyes. "Emi, everything that uncle Aven said is not true. You have never been a torment to us. He was just hot-headed and he didn't mean to tell you that, okay?" I explained to him. A tear fell from his eyes at what I said.

"Is it always unintentional even though I hear it over and over again, mama?" He asked innocently and sobbing. I immediately felt sad because I felt how painful it was for him

"What did he say to you again?"

That was the reason he was crying. Why do you take your anger out on him, brother Aven? Emi was too young to hear such hurtful words.

"Mama, he said because t-if I wasn't in the world, you would be rich and wouldn't be in trouble. Then he hit my hand when I was about to turn on the TV. He said he was a wasteful man. I am." He said it was difficult. Something pierced my heart when I heard that.

"That's not true. Let me go, I'll talk to your uncle Aven tomorrow." I caressed her long hair.

"Mama, I'm scared. Uncle Aven is always mad at me even though I don't do anything bad," she said crying. I wiped her tears.

"Don't be afraid, mom is here."

He looked up at me. "I only feel safe every night, because you're here every night mom." Tears formed in the corners of my eyes when I heard that from him. This has been happening to him for a long time but he just said it now.

I really miss Emi. I did not fulfill my duty to him as a mother properly. It hurts to see my son cry like this.

"Mama, when can I spend a long time with you?"

I thought again about being a personal nurse to my son's father. It was even more difficult to withdraw my consent because of what my son said. When I accept that, I will have more time to be with Emi.

"Don't worry, Heaven Emiliana. You will be with mom for a longer time. Promise,"