A Psychotic Love

Caroline Smith

I tapped my foot on the ground under the desk as my mind continued to race. What else could I do? If I didn't focus on the tapping of my foot or the sounds of commotion in the office, the image of him and her would slip into my head.

My now ex-boyfriend, Carlos, was unfaithful to me after 2 years. Walking in to see my assistant, Evelyn, and the man I figured I would one day settle down with, on top of each other in bed, breaking my heart. It wasn't how I expected us to end.

I wanted to wait for him until we married. It's not like I'm some traditionalist or stuck on some rules of religious ways, I'm far from that. I'd just been a virgin for so long, so why not wait? I was so sure he had been the one. But someone who loves you truly and deeply doesn't cheat on you.

Turning away from the computer screen, I looked out the floor-to-ceiling windows at the views of New York. I have always loved this city I've called home and admired its beauty.

Sighing and looking back to the screen, I continued to my emails, but all I could do was type gibberish in frustration and then click backspace fifty times. I let the rage finally consume me.

"Two years, t w o f u c k i n g y e a r s" What a cocky bastard to think he could just fuck her and get away with it.

It might not seem like a lot of time, but two years of my love life wasted. The love I had for him faded and turned into hatred the second I opened the door and saw him a few nights prior. Evelyn, the assistant mentioned, has called in sick since.

"Caroline" echoed in the back of my mind as I slowly returned to my senses.

"Caroline" I looked up at him; my father towered over me, causing me to make full eye contact shit.

"Tony, good morning. Why are you here?" I quickly got into the habit of sitting straight, setting my tone to formal.

"How am I supposed to one day pass this company to you if your ADHD basically runs it for you? Get your shit together. We have a meeting with some friend's investors" His tone was harsh, and he seemed irritated as he sighed in aggravation.

"I don't care what kind of week you've had or what's going on in your personal life. All I care about is you in that meeting selling yourself."

Tony Smith, my father, wasn't someone I was too fond of. He was my father, not my Dad. In my mind, I simply didn't have a Dad or Mom, well, the kind who were warm, loving, or just cared for their children in general. I had a mother and a father who were just cold and cared about business.

Since graduating college, I've been here, being trained to someday take over Smith Publishing Company. Not to be overconfident, but I was fantastic at my job. I'd been told over and over how I'm determined, impressive, and incredibly smart. But not by my parents or by investors. My parents never gave me the recognition. They did not really care for their children because the issue was they had two girls.

I always wondered what life would be like if they had a son instead of just two daughters, but deep down, I knew it would be worse.

Growing up it was just me and Belle, my baby sister. We raised each other. Belle was more outgoing and free but I was always more guarded, I had to be. Being scolded by my parents and unloved my entire life was damaging.

Caroline and Belle were graceful, and elegant and most definitely did not lack beauty. Her brown dough eyes could lock anyone in, along with her soft brown hair. Her figure was perfect, but her parents caused her to have more anxiety over eating growing up.

My parents didn't want us to be 'ugly fat disappointments'. But in their eyes, that's what we were. Even after getting into Columbia all on my own, busting my ass for years. The recognition from Olivia and Tony was never given.

I wanted to know what it was like to be truly and deeply loved. I thought I loved Carlos, but then it hit me that maybe my mind was fooling me into thinking that the manipulation was love.

He signaled at me again once more to get up. It's not my fault I was late; my assistant has been absent recently. I quickly gathered my files, stood up from the desk, pushed the lacy office chair back into the desk, and scurried out of my office. I glanced at my assistant's desk to see an expected absence. "I wouldn't show up either."

I could sense the fear around me as I walked through the floor, and my employees stood as I followed behind Tony. Stopping at the glass door of a conference room filled with people waiting as I opened the door "Sorry for my lateness."

"It's alright, Caroline; no worries," Kate, my co-worker, said. I liked her. She was kind but also fierce and well-driven. I walked over and took a seat between Kate and the head of the table where Tony sat.

"Okay, so we will start off with ideas on renovations from Kimberly."

--------------

After the two-hour meeting, I went to my office to finally check my phone. I saw that it had exploded with texts from Marta and Joy, my roommates and best friends.

I met Marta freshman year at Columbia and have known Joy since high school at Exeter together.

We are going out tonight. It's a Friday, and we are not taking no for an answer - Marta

I read the text and groaned. I wasn't a club kind of girl, and not much of a big drinker either. Growing up with my father getting so drunk and protecting Belle made me hate alcohol sometimes or consume too much of it

Of course, I did party in college, but that was only if I wasn't studying. I worked my ass off to prove myself to undeserving parents.

I scrolled through the messages accepting my fate of what was to come.

Sorry, Caroline but we have to get this silly little boy off your mind and get you back in the game - Joy

Trust me, this is out of love for you - Marta

And Marta needs some action for herself - Joy

Says you! - Marta

Seriously, who let these girls be on their phones?

Shouldn't you be working right now - Caroline

I'm a multi-tasker - Joy

I'm a procrastinator - Marta

Turning off my phone, I looked back to my computer. As I realized how much of a procrastinator I was starting to become myself.

Leaving my desk I collected the sticky notes I'd written for Evelyn a list of things she missed while she was out. But I figured she'd never return.

I held off going to HR for so long due to not wanting to be petty. But the thought of Evelyn tampering with my passcodes and work kept me up at night. I mean, who knows what this chick would do if I officially fired her?

I went to HR, and Clyde looked up at me, frightened. "Morning, Clyde." Seriously, this dude looked as if he could liquify.

"Morning, Miss Smith. How may we help you?" I bit back with pride, but I needed an assistant.

"I would like to request a new assistant, and I will be resetting all my passwords tonight." he seemed confused.

"Evelyn is a secure choice for an assistant. I don't see the need to fire her; she gets her work done and does her job well-"

"And is absent for three days after her boss walks in on her in bed with her boyfriend. Such a lovely lady. It's good to see your blushing has gone down, Clyde, because I don't think you're Evelyn's type. She's more into taking what's not hers." I smiled at him as his jaw dropped.

"Nobody said anything about firing; you can switch her to Hunter." I leaned down and whispered, "He's hell to have as a boss, but I think it's a better punishment than being fired." I stepped back and cleared my throat. "We clear Clyde?"

"Crystal Miss Smith"

"Good, that's good. I have to go wrap up a few things and then head home for the day," I said as I peeked at my watch at 3:45 p.m.

"Enjoy your weekend." I turned to go back to my office.