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Reading History

Chapter 6 No.6

Word Count: 4453    |    Released on: 04/12/2017

quent visits of inspection to the new estate. There, while Mrs. Gormer plunged into problems of lighting and sanitation, Lily had leisure to wander, in the bright autumn air, along t

had no share; weary of seeing other people pursue amusement and squander money, while she fel

ge Dorset. The Dorset place was in the immediate neighbourhood of the Gormers' newly-acquired estate, and in her motor-flights thither with Mrs. Gormer, Lily

e was close upon her; but the sight, instead of bringing him to a halt, as she had half-e

you if I'd dared." His face, with its tossed red hair and straggling moustache, had a driven unea

e pressed on, as if encouraged by her tone: "I wanted to apolog

it: I was very sorry for you," she said, with a tinge of di

repented the thrust. "You might well be; you don't know-yo

, without irony; "but you must see that I am not exac

nder. "Why not? Isn't it to you, of a

ssary: the situation wa

. But as Lily made a movement to pass on, he broke out with fresh vehemence: "Miss Bart, for God's sake don't t

ed friends-she had tasted the pang of loneliness; and her resentment of Bertha Dorset's cru

she said. "But you must understand that after what has h

friends-why not, when I've repented in dust and ashes? Isn't it hard that you should condemn me to suffer for

ewed impatience; but he broke in imploringly: "Don't put it in that way-when that's been the worst of my punishment. My God! what c

hat, after the use Bertha chose to make of me-after all that her beh

a wider radius. Then he began again: "Miss Bart, listen-give me a minute. If we're not to meet again, at least let me have a hearing now. You say we can't be friends

ck blush: was it possible that this was real

lp to you," she murmured, drawing back a lit

orn lines of his face relaxed, and he said, with an abrupt drop to docility: "You WOULD s

ence over him. Her fibres had been softened by suffering, and the sudden gli

elp you willingly; but you must ha

And besides-can't you see?-you're the only person"-his

nt to keep me bound fast in hell, do you? You can't want to take such a vengeance as that. You were always kind-your eyes are kind now. You say you're sorry for me. Well, it rests with you to show it; and heaven knows there's nothing to keep you back. You understand, of course-there wouldn't be a hint

his vague appeal; she could have filled up the blanks without the help of Mrs. Fisher's insinuations. Here was a man who turned to her in the extremity of his loneliness and his humiliation: if she came to him at such a moment he would be hers with all the fo

-fear of herself, and of the terrible force of the temptation. All her past weaknesses were like so many eager accompl

here's nothing in the

at's true: that you abandon me like the others.

e moved away she heard him cry out on a last note of

house, where she fancied that her hostess might be speculating, not too resignedly, on the c

oorstep stood Mrs. Gormer, with a glow of retrospective pleasure on her open countenance. At sight of Lily the glow deepened to an embarrassed red, and she said with

ng them; and Mrs. Gormer, relieved to see that she gave no sign of surprise, went on with a deprecating laugh: "Of course what really brought her was curiosity-she

or had recognized its individual members only when prompted by motives of self-interest; and the very capriciousness of her condescensions had, as Lily was aware, given them special value in the eyes of the persons she distinguished. Lily saw this now in Mrs. Gormer's unconcealable complacency, and in the happy irrelevance with which, for the next day or two, she quoted Bertha's

she was immediately conscious that Mrs. Dorset's influence was still in the air. There had been another exchange of visits, a tea at a country-club, an encounter at a hunt ball; the

impossible for her, while she had the means to pay her way for a week ahead, to lapse into a form of existence like Gerty Farish's. She had never been so near the brink of insolvency; but she could at least manage to meet her weekly hotel bill, and having settled the heaviest of her previous debts out of the money she had received from Trenor, she had a still fair margin of credit to go upon. The situation, however, was not agreeable enough to lull her to complete unconsciousness of its insecurity. Her rooms, with their cramped outlook down a sallow vi

one subject: himself and his wretchedness; and it was the need of her sympathy that had drawn him back. But he began with a pretence of questioning her about herself, and as she replied, she saw that, for the first time, a faint realization of her plight penetrated the dense surface of his self-absorption. Was it possible that her old beast of an aunt had actually cut her off? That she was living alone like this be

threshold to blurt out: "It's been such a comfort-do say you'll let me see you again-" But to this direct appeal

insistent. "I know how you might, if you would-if things were different-and it lies

othing," she exclaimed, striving, by sheer force of reiteration, to build a barrier between herself and her peril; and as he turne

els of expediency. The task was not an easy one; but neither was it easy, in her long sleepless nights, to face the thought of what George Dorset was so clearly ready to offer. Baseness for baseness, she hated the other least: there were even moments when a marriage with Rosedale seemed the only honourable solution of her difficulties. She did not indeed let her imagination

small silent house descended on her spirit with a sense of peace and familiarity. It may be doubted if such an emotion had ever before been evoked by Carry Fisher's surroundings; but, contrasted to the world in which Lily had lately lived, there was an air of repose and stability in the very placing of the

rs before dinner, to enter upon a group of her old acquaintances. But this expectation was instantly checked by the reflection that the friends who remained loyal were precisely those who would be l

oom to themselves; and something in his attitude made him seem a simple and kindly being compared to the small critical creature who endured his homage. Yes, he would be kind-Lily, from the threshold, had time to feel-kind in his gross, unscrupulous, rapacious way, the way of the predatory creature w

nabled Mrs. Fisher to lay a safe and pleasant course through a world of antagonistic forces was not infrequently exercised for the benefit of her friends. It was, in fact, characteristic of Carry that, while she activ

live to every detail of her friend's method, saw that such opportunities as had been contrived for her were to be deferred till she had, as it were, gained courage to make effectual use of them. She had a sense of acquie

Fisher looked about her with the eye of the solicitous hostess. "I hope you've managed to make yourself com

that Miss Bart sometimes wondered whether, if she could ever get time a

lous and suspicious-it's nothing to social ambition! Louisa used to lie awake at night wondering whether the women who called on us called on ME because I was with her, or on HER because she was with me; and she was always laying traps to find out what I thou

s, served rather, at crucial moments, the purpose of the juggler's chatter while he shifts the contents of his sleeves. Through the haze of her cigarette smoke she cont

eem to go straight to their hair-but yours looks as if there had never been an anxious thought under it. I never saw y

ection of the countenance under discussion. Then she said, with a slight

d." She waited a moment, and then went on: "By the way, I had a visit from Mattie the othe

ment on her hearer, but the brush in Miss Bart's lifted

hinks it natural enough that she should be singled out-I've no doubt the rabbit always thinks it is fascinating the anaconda. Well, you know I've always told you that

d a penetrating glance upon her fri

s. Fisher, rising to push

"For of course she always means something; and before I left Lon

ence of Mattie's being only a subtler form of snobbishness! Bertha can already make her believe

ir. "The world is too vile," she murmured, avert

ing; but in the rush we all live in there's no time to keep on hating any one without a cause, and if Bertha is still nasty enough to want to injure you with other people it must be because she's still afraid of you. From her standpoint there's only one reason for being afr

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