Deep Pool

rt

Blake was at the home of m

it gave me an excuse not to play with those rowdy k

who tried making a scene, making it i

ut of

rsta

t h

be a

on as I opened the door, a snowball hit me, a

I ended up just covering my head with my

stop making s

, a chubby boy with a fierce loo

u aren't qualified to

s st

ei

re you

gize

ry

an appeared, and Neil inst

sor

etly c

rig

about to follow in when I caught sight of

w after they pelted him with snowballs, yet his face showed no si

t seeing it made me fee

llis, com

cold ou

itated, looking at the boy st

ere's someone

me

t to the boy i

to me, but the boy seemed h

s he approached, his clean features becoming clear

nding at the door. I smiled awkwa

rt

he snow fell

d Sean organized a dinner par

o stay at home alone, so my dad didn't force me,

is

ike somethi

erson

gry, I just

go res

eep, but my stomach growled in the middle of the

A

..

do it s

own pl

..

ill down my spine. I quickly drew back my hand from the light sw

ming, but thankfully, the other pe

rt

scare

erson

e boy's gentle voice and looked u

rted to beat

N

d in a l

ld go bac

ery la

ne was

res were undeniable. I couldn't help but

kwardly l

rle

bounced over to him. But he unceremoniously dragged m

er

re you

esti

people who mig

war

ind of

e's really g

't

hand and playfully s

d-looking but is unaware

spee

her con

the Blake Family br

confused, then whi

ying financ

ack was gi

it me

ellin

d ang

you straight, yo

r said an

.

in a playful scuffle with Ge

wasn't until later that I unde

rt

like me who liked to be lazy on the pretext of snow,

g the snow to get heavier today, making it impossib

el

at Mr. Bla

t Sean'

on th

's ho

ed in s

ised, but her disappointment on the face faded, and a faint

watched Gerard's helpless expressio

at me like that? You

hing to do

make it back

rom

, and talked to his girlfriend for a

me wit

wa

ed imme

ldness so biting, wasn't the warm

erested in negotiating with m

quick-witted

t fully sober. He pulled Gerard aside and whispered a lot

o to school in Yu

bought y

o stay on campus

tures of the new apartmen

t wasn't the main p

s which school I

university Se

bout that school. There were many outstanding peop

want to g

d to r

aid unh

on't w

u want to do? J

spee

rt

guesse

ool, not as prestigious a the one invest

es there, I ran into

has transferred here f

welcom

ced him first befor

l invested by Sean, I instinc

s. As soon as he appeared, I felt that even th

ne, my name i

ud to be a part

s gaze sincere, instantly li

Blake, so he must be re

en, never thinking about why

rt

d Samuel a seat, which happe

I only gave him a polite smile when he sat

thers, I learned he was young

When staying with a friend I was more familiar with, I could chat about what

like a kid from

sa

abou

as

riend said I looked like a coo

ike that?!" I fel

hat to talk about and wasn't good at

Samuel was starin

h

ased me whil

ttention to her exc

you talk

eaded straight to a hole-in-the-wa

ied chicken legs

y someo

ught the wall

elonged to one of

ad already caused me trouble, and now

a hundred-dollar bill and was about to say, "Don't bother me again,"

account was just a few dollars because I had transferred the

y didn't bother me again. They left with the hundred doll

, I was

ediately

o they never came picking on me again. I didn't want

w I was threatened and bullied by them,

I was just coward

ant my family to worry too

rt

they targ

ned in t

l restaurant was at

I heard the sounds of a fight, I got scared. However, the la

s are figh

tantly, and after a wh

of his eyes were red. He lowered his head slightly, his t

elt sorry for

t somethi

s si

th a plate, munching on

rned to l

s st

t so

denly

o Samuel after our third meeting,

k his head,

l it to an

h.

u

ok

cause the corner of his mouth hurt. I felt like the rim

ut a band-aid from my bag and handed

n't

n't fix a

en looked at me w

me through his actions that crying indeed couldn

rt

he band-aid a

hat was the

s, a teacher came looking for him

it seemed like I was the most likely to have snitched

ed he had got into a fist fight and was

whole class, wanting to go out and testify that someone tried to ex

e issue could be resol

lass ended, I we

dn't snitch o

in a

portant, but I reall

gaze to me, his ey

k

or your hel

of relief, feeling

n to the teache

ain w

ask

s who extorted m

umb

o late to say that. T

..

's

o it. It's

d t

f vulnerability, especially with th

arrassed a

ll. According to his plan, I would go into the alley to sa

ly than he expected,

rt

teacher. I went straight to the teacher of t

I saw that him went to deal with those bu

teacher also apol

nd exc

ar

e don

spee

y hundred dollars ba

essed it was me who snitched on them to their teac

llow them to bul

nd go home early because I knew they wouldn't dare skip their teac

ke a stro

y friend. Samuel, who had returned to th

lass. I'll send yo

uel, you're

relie

arlee to you

iend

making my heart skip a beat. My ears tu

le of juice on my desk

't w

s st

thing, feeling m

this was the beginn

rt

d the more I interacted with him, the more

the ideal younger br

ause he was older than me. Back then, I thought if

to give birth to

nant with my brother, he too

would make me cry and call home. Mom, worried about me, went out

k, even if I had been badly battered about the he

would probably be almost the sa

turning to look at Samuel, who

look away. Compared to me, who could only be considered passably good-looking, he wa

rle

ly called

H

t's

completely reacting before

andlady's hole-in-

sh cakes and a f

f a novel's hero, though holding a plate of f

nk y

ed, and my stomach

e, but Samuel had already han

being fed by

ncomfortable with such intimate g

entally brushed

acitly di

t focused

rle

Gerard'

ed and smiled at him, but Gerard was clearly not happ

distance

t confused

er

you talki

y clas

ring my words, pulling

ou not to eat the food of the

y turned fierce, and

ke up at t

I boug

said

isten to what

ened slightly as h

rt

from the school and moved out of Yusweton overnight.

ard for a long time. Gerard had his o

ne bullied me, I should call him, and a

l for a long time, even thou

re I returned to my usual routine of studying and occa

rstand why he treated Samuel that way, I still missed h

over and tal

girlfri

ember to stud

er reluctantly

ed unh

e on the screen

n-law sighe

for your own good. That Samuel

H

o you

in con

anage and was trained to be a toy boy who could only

he obscene noises in the living roo

ave any e

ked

ut about his curre

n-law didn'

ff. When I turned around, I found

smiled slightly with the rims of his eyes t

spee

rt

nowhere to be seen until one day when I stayed late at school he

pposite my apartment, and I ha

at his door, squinting at me

r vinegar, a traditional remedy for hangovers, and b

. Samu

n halt

rle

led my

he rims of his eyes were red, as if he'd been through

inegar. It'll help

out and hugged me. Instinctively, I wante

from that day. Considering he had just come of a

mfort him. Samuel seemed startled, and I felt a bit awkward

I

u as a youn

grip on me slightly

unity to hand him

confusion. After hesitating for

rt

was quite adorabl

sionally make a face at its sourness made me

you feeling

take a shower,

with

h his slender fingers, loo

ly see me as

feeling he was too close,

t, just pretend I di

ike

nswered

hint of a smile in his

his world willing to have some

idn't think about his meaning caref

tanding, and more people wil

l, with impressive educational performance a

e, paused for a long ti

u're willing,

as your elder sist

rsta

urte

ed genuinely happy. His voice was slightly

ka

rt

every time he called me intimately, he would lean close to

ear. Initially, I wasn't used to i

nfamiliar city, I trul

at I had ima

l and walk home with me, just li

in the

sor heard I had learned to paint and temporarily assigned me to the publicity department to dr

ke charge o

and took

student had mixed t

nk y

by my advisor. I felt a bit embarrassed to guide him

a design for the painting, but he had

ting, but the school's stool was of poor quality and almost cause

nk y

immed

re we

student

sing balance made

adied myself and

ey

the voice and noticed Samuel standi

am

finish thi

d head ba

nd, I looked at Samuel, who was carryi

quinted

, who i

e stude

he's

bout to

wait f

errupted m

slowly t

as

finished y

was s

sly he

hould head

company

t spoke up at t

l's thesis was more

o back and finish

seemed to soften instant

ka

at, Sam

was completely dark. The male stud

re you don't need m

at ease if yo

nt said w

on the road, and the surroundings looked a bit desolate.

ot too muc

odded politely and

or a while, though it was mostly awkward small cha

to be unlocked, and Samue

e you in

s st

asn't good, his eyes

d scared me, and I remembered I

d he g

ake sure you g

rep

Samuel'

taken

d you get

el s

ll you wan

s si

hat Samuel's attitude was a bit col

ou had

you want

ke it f

aid

but as soon as I entered the

hat I hadn't told him about the

ve me a last-minute task,

ried into the kitchen, sending a message to th

ly signed an agreement wit

the key to

who claimed to be y

ext reply, feelin

ontinued

ake the k

ly for a long time, and af

hy

sa

reas

s no rep

r a while, I sent

ntering my private spa

ic

ively put away my phone, opened the fri

give me

e property managemen

fridge, thought for a moment,

er, standing a

ok at him and

smiling gently, and obed

ka

ehaved he was, I

anced at the message from that male classmat

assmat

introduce myself. My

epl

'll make a

r as

ou gone to

epl

a late

or

me too. But this cu

d continued replyin

, it can help so

a message i

ow about these things besi

help but

n't know ho

nued re

se the colors you

ay, there's an art exhibition this we

ing I hadn't really explored Yu

ted, rubbing my hands together as I picked up my knife and fork to continue eat

rt

out, I dressed up carefully. Just as I was abo

erred money t

ey, I was startled and quic

nce that you suddenly tra

u speak p

ed his eyes

s a spec

remembering it wa

e was a knock

ively went

oor, I quickly said goodbye to

amuel came to see me, or he'd

at me gently a

like to go to the m

l's clear eyes, I

t be free t

row was Samuel's birth

s your birthday, and I'll spend

d his lips,

t my dress

it loo

his eyes to loo

ou wear looks

eally hon

with

and I also liked painting, we got along well without any a

weather wasn't on our side,

ny cake shops inside, I thought of Samuel's birthday tomorrow and

uel

appeared when we p

iously, seeing

ea

ied ca

inued, look

a day young

uickly

our birthd

nsw

es

pect Conor to tell me to wait there

to buy

e petals made the flower

sister-in-law, he was the

able to hide the

nk y

d hap

ad you

ed with

lik

y m

d when the rain had eased off, Conor to

home, it rained

nvited Conor inside

out with me at the ar

or

n the table and poured

e the one t

stopped suddenly,

idn't dare get too close to him, so I aske

e, and thinking Samuel wouldn't come here

tching bowls

denly

uh

taken

mbering that when Samuel picked them, I also a

hen they were so

tfully and began p

I felt awkward in always letting Samu

rt

e rain stoppe

dishes, I went upsta

ized it was almost midnight. Exhausted, I found

but then I heard the sudden

's t

ed in

nd I bravely opene

for the broken vase and wat

nctively wanted to find a weapon, but afte

seeing anyone, so I headed downstairs and found the

dialed the number of the property management co

, a ringtone so

akdown, turning sharply to see Samuel's vagu

am

re yo

u.

so sc

.

reen still lit up, then at my

in the property m

at me, his dark pup

ed something was

te, you should g

s 12

n a horri

ha

a bit

stinctively stepping back, on

to spend the

too la

hou

tinctively, and pulled my hand

grabbing my hand again an

uel

re you

ted in

u call me

ked c

ly, and seeing his exposed collarbone a

amme

. I'll watch a movie w

he movie the day af

rrified, seizing the chance to run upstairs

in the room trying to call

er

the p

ase

erard, watching the phone

d me, and I rushed to stop the door from being op

so afra

id ca

ession as gentle as ever, but

what's wr

ave a go

wasn't a match for Samuel, my hear

t be like thi

d pit

my legs felt weak, but maybe my

t, but didn't expect Gera

ar

t's

I held it, unsure what to say, just watchin

not

it by a

ered s

ine about the art exhibition,

dizzy af

cool breath approached, cold skin pressing again

tively trying to

his hand was ice-cold, sen

rar

ted ab

's wr

still

t your

h

emotions in his eyes. I knew I had only tw

wasn't sure if Samuel wo

nning, leaving

ghtly, his hands

rar

nig

voice, hung up the phone, and pushed a

am

I'll pretend n

uh

, whether you tell Gerard or not, it

rsta

ed Samuel away and ran towards the door. Yet, it was as if

ntically, scra

nning my wrists and l

never imagined my first kiss would be

am

t

t do

eggin

ase

..

esperately scratching him,

nted at me,

go

you feel too

Samu

ave to do th

at him i

cold-faced, ho

aming down my cheeks, and I

illed with my sobs, tears soakin

ooked at him sleeping beside me, wanting

are you

ask

show

id w

ugh, pulling me c

spend the whol

ay, indeed, and every day after

hing to me ex

rt

neari

weakly on the bed, unable to get up,

left, I couldn

arted to regret it. Trembling, I

want to cha

go home

ha

like spoil

nto the phone screen, and sobbed as I wiped them aw

's you

muel's voic

Samuel standing behind me, a

miled, gazing

ke special

n't r

re so

rl

his shadow envelopin

rt

yet, and you're alrea

happe

collar, making me shiv

wrong,

as

N

hin

keeping m

sked again

feeling

head inst

otional poster for this activ

ent plans to treat yo

es can join it

on't

e the meal

y n

need to pa

pless, "Come on, you're th

o, it won't be

d, pausing for a long tim

ou set

ring free time

day, and outside of schoo

time I was caught and forced to go hom

ppy about waiting until gym cla

or of the cafeteria, t

for this afternoo

rapping my clothes tightly around me, standing in

l, let

e h

uel, my body stiffened,

the cool scent maki

e, ove

suddenly

uel had gone, seeing no one in the hall

on, and everyone started playing g

ou have someo

one

head, my heart aching. Did I even h

u don't hav

up at the

s helping me ou

doesn't answer, she

rink it fo

perso

it, and instinctively wanted to stop

lled with teasing laugh

s lookin

d smashed, feeling a surge of tears. I could

ome forth to

rt

e he

Samuel'

over inst

smile, feeling a

is s

walking over,

you want me to

limp, my vo

you c

el a

e, or go

make a ch

ce was

in cl

and I instinctively grabbed his ha

ke that part

e sham

d ang

free, but Samuel held i

atening to fall, and followed Sa

your m

s

leaned

red a

afraid of go

el a

y be willing to

tly, nails sinking into

hispered

your m

him, choos

gers brushing my hair aside,

ght coming through the storage roo

your

keep b

ack a sob,

ou stop acti

expected me to ask tha

your m

el suddenly raised his han

N

bing his hand, te

d at me with

g closer, slightly

isse

uffocated to death soone

e's K

she dis

tside the door. I wanted to

el was still

gh it. I only knew that in the storage

rt

snow was gone, and the Samuel who

dn't e

thers would laugh at m

was as gentle as ever, but e

ing me down to kiss me whenever he

with half a year left before graduation, using the excuse of preparin

ng his limit, and I was

ll a

ask

s around my waist, I kept m

to never spea

ked a

egan to dislike speaking more and more

t to hear you

in a l

eyes and re

I was like a lifeless doll in his

's

s sl

ed, patted my head ge

d gi

t, letting him hold me as i

call me

ay

y calling me "Karlee," his lips and tongue brushing

nestled in his ar

mue

rle

ry happy, leaning in clos

t held me

hed his

oked

and Samuel froze, immediatel

rle

d me int

ispe

o slee

and looking upset, not forcing me a

I was truly exhausted. I just wanted to

rt

busier. As long as I initiated to kiss him, he w

wanted to tell Gerard, but I knew if I did, Gerard would see the pho

would

quicksand, unable

ed after the s

nd polite as ever, s

rle

gre

el

eete

y stunned, barel

y dazed expressio

ou lost so

h-collared sweater

't had eaten m

or

hy. You were origi

odd

lence, Conor

ate school are you p

ret I couldn't tell anyone. I wanted to le

said

can you

at the same s

rle

someone c

Samuel'

pulling me away. I was a bit

cool hands intertwining with m

school are yo

ask

n't r

o it fo

aid

im. I meant to refuse, and he seemed to see throug

m, choosing

you after

don't l

ddenl

ka

y that Samuel was m

d, leaning cl

t me tell y

yes, not want

s

atch you apply to it

despair, looking

ar

leav

, nuzzling my

led up in

erwi

rt

e felt like

dead end, and I finally put

onor was

ticipated. Samuel filled out the applicati

't going t

y. He couldn't leave them and would eventually r

, I'm s

ogether in

. I watched his happ

owering his guard against me until t

ng into the graduate

oals were

ready left with the diploma and degree certificates

o the school. I bought a plane ti

e this nigh

bed, I felt everything ha

rst time in so long, I

g-do

den

bell kep

oot to the door. But as soon as I reached it, the sound s

ned to the bed, curled up under th

d of Sam

awake. I sat up quickly, looking at the dark room, ready to go

rle

Samuel'

n, but Samuel pinned me down

you lie

't I lie

unable to suppr

deal. You can

h a tough attitude, and Samuel was

w c

a strai

w, I'll pretend

l sne

ashtray and smashing it again

e blood trickle down his forehead wi

looking into his deep eyes, as if

g m

ressed a

inst my back, he s

ll be g

mue

I couldn't esc

, go ahead a

thought I was re

not to anger him easily, because he c

could be somethin

begging for mercy. I just kne

l turned

eas

lea

amuel left, giving

leep with you, I

n't r

rt

at the time, and I didn't get pregna

e energy to continue my stud

still fo

was tricked into

rle

alle

Samuel held me, clasping

ht was

id, I was complet

rle

alled me

closed my eyes, not

obed

ask

o see my

sa

d had a car accident, and recently ever

ed fingers brushing aside the

ak that I already kne

a bit

e back to

el s

ou not blink

idn't seem in a hurry, nor did he p

ex, I hid alone

door sudden

him walk in, wrapping

hen picked up the razor

rt

severe, but my sister-in

en someone who d

niti

ed uncon

and thought of S

rd s

't paying attention when I tried

stop c

good for

-law paused,

ked emb

op

d I have already got our mar

other

rry so soon, but now her exp

atulat

id c

t's been three years, and a

urg

spee

want to g

hing me, even suggesting

sed th

rt

I returned to

didn't seem busy at all. As soon as I got back,

rle

nto his arms,

d well

derstand wh

onti

or you than anyone Ge

t? You can only mar

ing what Gerard had said

id he

install a

gh

nswering directly, his

rle

ed, then snapped

re in

xpression

ensing his displea

ust a psy

watch you

was war

uld have been terrifi

him, I just wanted

desperate

ee El

time Samuel called

eally ef

I hit t

the past three years, finding a way to release

live with a do

to pro

ingly cold, and I felt like he

ake me

ntin

my neck, looking at me

, letting him gra

at the private

hrough your thoughts, knows your fears, and uses choices

ty developed later in life, lik

police, it's best to tell the tr

I war

fall out with him, he may beco

en you discover his

because I couldn'

felt I did the right thing, even if

rt

dn't appe

med to retu

ied on medication and could communicate normally. But Gera

sed th

if things would have been different

dn't you tell m

ther

ring your bi

nsw

y gift. Missing Dad's birthday f

on the phone,

y Sands Hotel fo

e location a

n, I saw a young boy

see me too, gree

rle

e off guard

you

l Bl

rep

spee

me, only sixteen now, but he was

e's m

as

s a bit annoyed and instin

d an eyebr

u don't know w

s pu

l s

a blin

s st

h wh

was s

M

ill r

loose clothing, seemingly wanting to fin

re so

spee

a strai

? You've been like this

ret

not your

ated my

also t

was s

en was

slim

epl

thing to d

ins

blind date

sa

o y

ntere

l s

young or not after

spee

s off, I frowned and

about it. I'm hu

ldn't le

men who've neve

to say. How did he

out

if you've bee

uckled

my dad had som

t, Neil instinctivel

thinking

to make amends, "I

t, Neil instinctivel

ied down by

ked a

nged by your fam

l s

it's just to ke

t go out wi

d my for

indeed hadn't been goi

, don't

riedly

know wh

ad arrived, and w

ided m

warmly, just

s rare to se

rle

ted me on

nlike before, he didn

ecline, but the Blake

you bring

plained

as dis

repri

you speak to

aid an

ot my b

llegitima

g at Samuel, but his expression was calm, even gentle

d, just like me,

voice w

still young

expression, a stark contrast to the indif

n s

e his word

uard, as if Samuel really w

back to the Blake Family, and the blind date between Neil and me wa

Bella sti

dn't