pte
1
g, and my partner happen
2
I pretended to be terrified, div
3
d, pushin
4
just watching horror fil
5
s arm again. "Come on, we both
6
nt heartthrob and just play alon
7
, but he didn't pull away this time. Instead
8
d," he murmured, "are
9
1
h and me, not even our closest
1
would guess that I had
1
ed him from my apartment, clapping from my couch as his name flashed on screen. I felt every bit
1
up, I'd imagined we'd be spending more time together. Bu
1
unning a tired hand through his h
1
out of me. Just...
1
ne who threw himself entirely into his roles. This was just
1
d forgi
1
cretly meet up with that
1
into his role, or was
2
, I felt a wave of anger and insecurity take over. The gap between his success and my career
2
about was betray
2
t told me over the phone. "Fo
2
thing this indu
2
in our downtown apartment whe
2
very nerve on alert, and le
2
k at
2
rything
2
ting at hers if you're so tire
2
haustion plain, but he still w
3
k before he g
3
try touching
3
os
3
hing in his eyes as he tr
3
st talking about the role. You know how much I g
3
elieve him –
3
rading jabs and resentments until
3
d the door, I called
3
And just so you know,
3
ld retain was being th
4
s if gathering himself, bu
4
a friend's
4
enjoying life anonymously was nearly impossible,
4
w off steam, maybe even sh
4
fellow actor there, someone
4
it off undeniably made the plot and
4
nario: I was a psychotic k
4
real-life script, each of us exposing
4
e else had left, but we staye
4
ly good," he'd said,
5
d that psycho a litt
5
nfo. "Let's team up for the next
5
, he looked up, surprised. "Tu
5
s
5
ame saved under
5
ed him "B
5
ly. We moved from chatting about roles and sc
5
kly gre
5
no secrets left in showbi
5
ing more than friendship, and I wasn'
6
workload, and since our time together was limited, I
6
I didn't want to risk impacting his career,
6
re like h
6
an his g
6
suggested going public a few times, but I al
6
ake up for it, grounding me with lit
6
minimalist style, he redid his bedroom in Snoopy's classi
6
events, he quietly arranged for me to get one anyway, carefully
6
oments like these, tho
6
constant flow than a dramatic stor
7
drive, and spent months moping at home.
7
s in this industry u
7
turn, and you're crumbling over a guy. Aren't you af
7
to start with, and once you'
7
be a shadow
7
lightning bolt in the
7
then help me up! I'm going to
7
o one can ever
7
reer, and eventually, thi
7
les and gigs that came my way
8
kly dismiss
8
ver we crossed paths, he treated me like a str
8
8
ew gig on a dating show to boost some buzz around the last sho
8
ate: the other actor had dropped out, and the
8
c moments" we'd planned with the last co-st
8
a corner and called my agent. "D
8
ner now. What are
8
can stand up to al
8
his is jackpot-level news. Just him showing up ne
9
tal
9
istant
9
out, I felt tota
9
over me, and Braeden's v
9
up your deep, dark history of
9
and my heartbeat spiked, le
9
pinning me lightly against the wall, his
9
ip; his fingers, calloused from training, gently teased a
9
urmured, "I th
9
sing to be intimidated. "Braeden, is twisting t
1
up this back-and-f
1
nk you now for th
1
payback
1
ar should, chatting and networking. Meanwhile, Braeden sat back at the head o
1
n my busy flattery and hi
1
e not satisfied with, just let us kno
1
rector
1
gave a b
1
," the director went on
1
r to work with? Her standing migh
1
mid-conversation, straining t
1
all
1
at, crossing his legs and
1
. Why don't you a
1
the director woul
1
ourse, h
1
" he cal
1
e showing Mr. Marsh some
1
lose, I tilted my head just enough for Braeden to see my fru
1
g forward to learn
1
with a look of disdai
1
keep things
1
. w
1
n some hidden tension, because he qu
1
Mr. Marsh. I'll k
1
ly softening into something brighter, al
1
l. I'm pretty sure she's the only one
1
ough flirtation and ambigu
1
. M
1
exagger
1
but then turned back
1
you two alr
1
cour
1
replied
1
N
1
at a
1
t the sa
1
rs were compl
1
osphere
1
oking at us both wit
1
1
tarted, a mino
1
script and tried to pair up
1
iou
1
cided to capitalize on it, adding a game segme
1
ng contest, with me and the
1
arted, I shot Brae
1
s ever, ar
1
ed an eyebro
1
r forte, go on
1
ired me up to
1
ooked decent enough, so wh
1
need the biggest
1
tand on principle, even if
1
rl went all in, sleeves rolled up
1
ng huge bites without
1
piece, I went all out,
1
letting her
1
nd flashed a triumpha
1
exclusive time with the
1
ook at Braeden and then at me,
1
d the game f
1
rs, with fewer pieces too, but thanks to t
1
trick ba
1
o "recover," then offered my
1
nailed it.
1
sharpened, watc
1
okie who was clearly feeling uncomfortable and
1
won't be d
1
s clearly the typical boy-band type – dr
1
s sweet and genu
1
do m
1
giving me
1
I was helping him by choosing him, so his grat
1
wasn't one t
1
per something to the director, and within minute
1
in an intense con
1
r it wasn't
1
r Braeden, no one dared
1
e walked straight to
1
so so
1
everyone
1
exchanged a k
1
eams were gett
1
elon scene
1
ing segment to matc
1
down, using his height to his
1
nged with a
1
ally didn't w
1
nd I found myself scooting an inch a
1
tor loving Braeden's close-ups, I felt the constant pressure to keep my faci
1
s removing my makeup
1
y do you keep
1
ying games together, he would fixate
1
p it. Bear
1
od beh
1
o my neck in that familiar
1
nding, to make sure it was closed an
1
y, e
1
o go b
2
own r
2
g me to my room, but now the crew was
2
tart wondering if somet
2
man and woman alone in a ro
2
or, I caugh
2
e. I'll stay a
2
inded
2
n, we b
2
instant, and stormed out, the transfo
2
after him. "The best exes act
2
int
2
ede
2
then left e
2
in
2
de
2
igh
2
hings but didn't want
2
would fawn over him ju
2
in bed when there was a polite knock at the doo
2
found Cayden s
2
even more innocent, his large, clear e
2
ks. I was too shy to bring them out during fil
2
e, they tas
2
everal vacuum-sealed packs of jerky, pretzels, and spiced nut
2
efreshingly st
2
from Yupl
2
taking
2
, looking
2
e both Yupl
2
this, drop the 'Ms. Stewart
2
me that on
2
sa
2
actually my manager's idea – said I
2
er first name feels, I don't
2
at a loss
2
d and patted
2
rry. The 'boy-next-door' i
2
glimpse of someone peering around the corner.
2
door, I shook my
2
ly sneaking arou
2
2
en for who knows how long, I
2
Braeden and I first moved in together. He'd been so awkwa
2
et he'd stubbornly insisted he was c
2
er than his self-doub
2
hen, just as things were heating up, he'd stopped. Hove
2
w why, but I suddenl
2
was alrea
2
peech
2
crying? Was his rea
2
ing over the horizon, feeling disor
2
up, I headed out for a mo
2
retching, a familiar voice b
2
d, jogging up beside m
2
idn't sleep
2
aid "either"
2
licated history. Insomnia often gr
2
metimes even lash out, though he'd never hu
2
yself, I fo
2
point you, but
2
jog, his messy hair b
2
ine, you win.
2
later, our runnin
2
rookie Cayden
2
outhful complexion glowing and
2
pressi
2
p st
2
luck your
2
mir
2
jealous of my
2
ed his arm around my elb
2
to a halt, eyes fixed on
2
pulled away and
2
ere something I c
2
eemed to gather his co
2
ankle. Mind helping
2
s guy could lie wit
2
ould refus
2
distant now that ev
2
ting, I quickly offered my support, worrie
2
limp looked convincing enough. If I weren't walking right next
2
m, his phone buzzed with a call from th
2
ed to delay filming so you
2
g my eyes so hard th
2
ld really pu
2
raeden flopped onto the bed an
2
o take
2
le tirade, giving him a piece o
2
gaze, his tone suddenl
2
pt well in ages. Just.
2
self to outright deny him, but I l
2
om the bed and movin
2
bed, I'll take the c
2
w that he was, I felt torn and unable to cope. It felt like pa
2
we come
2
let it ge
2
d start crying, I kept my head
2
y bumped into someone, catching the
2
's concerned face, his large, s
2
you... did som
3
ked s
3
, he frowned and pushed past me, sto
3
N
3
ick
3
bed hi
3
oing rigid and his ears flushing pin
3
aeden, you know? About how tragic it is that someo
3
is industry is a mess, but if you stay
3
miling shyly, looking al
3
ge to tease him,
3
tes after I retu
3
rom Braeden
3
ople who throw th
3
y knew wha
3
t too close to Cayden, or
3
would probably throw anyone else
3
how to give him t
3
ll become what w
3
n y