e it would never end, my leg bouncing with the

ear, especially with

r belly a little rounder, her smi

e nursery, and it was sitting in my carry-on

iled, expecting her name to pop up, but it was

nticipation growing as I n

front door of our house, the

no smili

d still, with a faint,

ainers overflowed from

aced by a knot of co

out, my voice echo

the door and walked f

I' m

ame from our b

ar

at a time, my heart po

n the bed, her face pal

r stomach, and she was brea

what'

ide, my hand goin

clammy a

she whispered, her

rts so

seiz

t waste

er body feeling unnervingly ligh

blur of red lights and blaring

ained face, her knuckles white

would be okay, that the baby would be okay, though my

m, nurses and doctor

anding alone in the stark white hallway, the smell o

ke a lifetime, a doctor fina

der man with

ow," he said, his ex

her somethin

heartbeat

ver me, so powerful it al

ank

hap

omethin

ing sh

e held mine for a

we need to talk about

ping can be brought on b

ncy, there needs to be a

d to be

him, compl

en

nt

t und

a business t

me and found

myself, even though I didn' t

ded slowly, his lip

s

e mindful go

eeds

of

omforting but felt dismissive, and then he walked away, leavin

nt

tle

he talk

in my mind, a growing sens

omething, dropping a hint that

d, I loved her m

do anything to hurt her o

ee her a litt

ospital bed, an IV dr

d to her cheeks, and

her bed and just watched her, my mind

tor' s warning echoed in my head, a diss

my exhaustion warring with a deep, g

wrong, and it was more than j

r that day, with strict

lence in the car thick

pillows, and brought her a glass of wa

thanked me, her eyes flutteri

he silence of the ho

s, gathering the greasy takeo

n't cooked a single

tter thought surfaced: I was working myself to the bone to provide for our gro

ryptic warning from a doctor that made

g a bag of trash, feeling more