I helped Emily g

d a dark, purplish mark on the soft skin

it stood out aga

sked, my voice soft

and gently tou

pulling the colla

t' s n

st bumped int

n' t meet

en so clu

brain, y

e explanation di

t look li

ike... some

else co

efused to

ted into the fals

t on the couch downst

uring pregnancy" i

reased sensitivity and forum posts from other expect

planations, trying

changes making blood

s pos

to be p

hings because of the stre

early hours of the morning,

wo days straight, between

covers, trying no

oundly, a peaceful e

untroubled, made the turmoil ins

p so easily when m

d, rolling over in her sleep an

d into the croo

mforting gesture, one

me, it felt

f warmth and security, sent a

, rigid, my

ve that everything was fine, but a co

eplaying the d

ntr

tlen

he say t

th such a knowing, alm

told him

lain that I

was imp

been together

n her chest, and jumped to the wrong

made my st

ged for somethi

ache, a desperate need to understand what wa

dn' t

t of bed, my joints pr

splash some water on my fa

the sink, somethi

a small, gray pile of ash, with the disti

fr

y bones, far worse than th

' t s

ver

Emily despi

t made her ph

my dad smoke on the

son for cigarette ash to be

ind refusing to proc

, the mark on her c

separate, un

of a puzzle I did

lse had b

been in my hous

uild a life for us, someone wh

, knocking the air from my lungs and leav