x weeks as punishment for having tolerated Ha-tsumomo's boyfriend in the okiya. I don't think the maids could have been more upset with me if I
g at me, and to have the cost of an obi brooch I'd never seen or even touched added to my debt
ko confirmed it. I felt almost as though my life itself were slipping away from me when I learned that Mother had ordered the front door locked to prevent me from going out again. How would I escape from the okiya now? Only Auntie had a key, and sh
k I was supposed to be polishing, and pulling a broom along the corridor I was supposed to be sweeping. I spent a long while Monday afternoon pretending to weed the courtyard while really only squatting on the stones and brooding. Then one of the maids gave me the job of washing the
t I squeezed more water and watched it run into the corner again. And then . . . well, I can't say exactly how it happened; but I pictured myself f
elephone near Yoko rang, I almost cried out in alarm. I wasn't sure what I would do once I reache
n more awake. I lay for a long while thinking of my house and wondering what expression would form itself on my father's face when he looked up from the table to see me standing in the doorway. Probably the pockets at his eyes would droop d
wrinkled clothing. She looked strangely pitiful to me while she fumbled to unfold the sleeping robe she'd picked up from the table. Everything drooped from her, even her protruding nipples that hung like fingertips. The more I watched her, the more I came to feel that she must be struggling in that cloudy, old lady's mind of hers with thoughts of her own mother and father-who had probably sold her into slavery when she was a little girl-just as I had been struggling with thoughts of my own parents. Perhaps she had lost a sister too. I'd certainl
y memories of Gion. I already knew how I would reach the roof; as to how I would climb from there to the street. . . well, I wasn't at all sure. I would have no choice but to take my chances in the dark. Even if I did make it down without hurting myself, reaching the street would be only the beginning of my troub
but I had the impression she was growing drowsy. Originally I'd planned to wait until she fell asleep, but I had no idea of the time any longer; and besides, Hatsumomo might come home at any moment. I sat up as quietly as I could, thinking that
The longer I listened, the more his wheezing sounded like someone saying my name: "CHI-yo! CHI-yo!" I wasn't prepared to sneak out of the okiya until I'd satisfied myself Mother was asleep, so I decided to slide the door open and have a look. If she was awake, I would simply say I thought someone had called
since the summer. If Pumpkin hadn't been kneeling in the front entrance hall, I would have taken a pair of the wooden shoes used for walking along the dirt corridor. Instead I took the shoes reserved for use in
low me. But I had no time to waste being afraid, for it seemed to me that at any moment one of the maids, or even Auntie or Mother, might pop up through the trapdoor looking for me. I put the shoes onto my hands to keep from dropping them and began scooting my way along the ri
of blackness. The roof was much too high and steep for me to consider sliding down it on a gamble. I wasn't at all sure the next roof would be better; and I began to feel a bit panicky. But I continued along from ridge to ridge until I found myself, near the e
lihood someone would be waiting at the front door for the geisha to return, and would grab me by the arm as I tried to run out. And what if the front door was lo
when I dropped in, but I decided I'd better make my move before someone in my okiya discovered me gone. If I'd had any idea of the damage I was about to do to my future, I would have spun aroun
ok my wrists over it. I knew I had committed myself, for I would never manage to climb back up again; but it seemed to me that the very moment I let go, I would slide down that roof out of control. My mind was racing with these thoughts, but before I'd made the decision to let go of the ridge, it let go of me. At first I glided down more slowly tha
hen a much worse sound-the sound of footsteps co
oof just as a fly might do, and I would find it right away. Otherwise I was going to end up sprawled in that courtyard in another few seconds. I tried digging my toes into the roof, and then my elbows and knees. As a final act of desperation I did the most foolish thing of all-I slipped the shoe from my other h
ng up toward the roof in time to see me fall out of the sky right on top of her; but of course this isn't what happened. I turned as I fell, and landed on my side on the ground. I had the sense to bring an arm up to protect my head; but still I landed so hea
It's raining
became aware of two women kneeling over me. One kept saying something again and again, but I couldn't make it out. They talked betwee
, she came off t
there to use the toilet, little girl? Can you hear me? What a dangerous
you, ma'am. Lo
hear me. Say some
ything. All I could d
for me opposite the M
never
lay curled up in a ball in a state of shock. I was crying without tears and holding my arm, w
hen she pulled me out of that okiya and behind her up the street. When we reached our
nswer. "What were you thinking! Well, you've ruined everything f
ng me halfheartedly as she had before, Auntie poured a bucket of water over my robe to make-the rod sting all the more, and then struck me so hard I couldn't even draw a breath. When she was done beating me, she t
ble screams from farther up the walkway. Granny was giving
te afternoon already by the time I was brought back to the okiya with a plaster cast on my arm. I was still in terrible pain, but Mother called
h I paid for you?" s
t you're going to tell me yo
it, but I was beyond caring. It seemed to me nothing in the world would ever be right agai
n more than you're worth. Well, I had the impression you were c
'll be adding medical expenses to your debts as well. Plus you have your meals and lessons, and just this morning I heard from the mistress of the Tatsuyo, over in Miyagawa-cho, that your older sister has run away.
ondering, and now I had my answer. I want
s a geisha," she went on, "if you happened to be a success
pleasantly enough until then, but after my apology, she put her pipe on the table and stuck out
You're probably the most expensive maid in all of Gion! If I could sell off you
out of the room and put he
ing stood Hatsumomo. Mr. Bekku was waiting to finish tying her obi while Auntie, w
nothing more I can do. You'll have to finish y
the morning before and felt certain Hatsumomo was going to blame her troubles on me. I was eager to get down the stairs before she spotted me, but it was a
" Auntie said to her. "Just go into
t drew me into her room an
he said to me. "But now you've tried to run away, and done it for me! I don
followed me into the hall and said, "If you wonder what it will be like as a maid all your life, just have a talk with Auntie! Already you're like two e
" Auntie said. "Show us t
r. Whenever he spoke, all the other children paid him no more attention than if a bird had chirped or a frog had croaked, and poor Noboru often sat right down on the ground and cried. In the months after my failed escape, I came to understand just what life must hav
uld picture myself there as vividly as if I really had run away with Satsu and was back at home again. In my mind I rushed toward our tipsy house holding Satsu's hand-though I had never held her hand before- knowing that in another few moments we would be reunited with our mother and father. I never did manage to reach the house in these fantasies; perhaps I was too afraid of what I might find there, and in any
begun to give up my hopes of awakening one night to find that Satsu had sneaked into our okiya to rescue me, or that in some other way I might hear word of my family in Yoroido. Then one morning as Mother and Auntie were preparing to take Granny on a picnic, I came down the stairs to find a pa
moto
itta
Tomin
oto, Kyoto
be in the package, but seeing Mr. Tanaka's name there . . . you may find it absurd, but I honestly hoped perhaps he'd recognized his mistake in sending me to this terrible place, and had mailed me something to set me free from t
heavy fishermen's thread. Sewn to the sacking by its corners was an envelope bearing my name. Auntie cut the envelope free and then tore away the sacking to reveal a dark wooden box. I began to get excited about what I might find inside, but when Auntie took off the lid, I felt myself all at once growing heavy. For there, nest
me by the arm into the reception room. My hands were trembling in my lap as I knelt at the table, probably from the force of trying to keep all my terrible thoughts from rising to the surface of my mind. Perhaps it was really a hopeful sign that Mr. Tanaka had sent me the
ro," she said in a voice that was strangely heavy and slow. I don't
r C
ive birth to a new generation of blossoms. Flowers that grow where old on
nd, and only a few weeks afterward your honored father departed this world as well. This humble person is deeply sorry for your loss and hopes you will rest assured that the remains of both your honored parents are enshrined in the villag
ward at a teahouse, and the experience has left the deepest impression. It gives me some measure of satisfaction to know that a safe place in this world has been found for you, Chiyo, and that you will not be forced to suffer through years of uncertainty. This humble person has been aliv
the son of Mr. Sugi. Mr. Sugi fervently hopes to see his beloved son again in this lifetime, a
ely yours,
bad enough to learn that my mother had died, or that my father had died. But to learn in a single moment that both my mother and my father had died and left
y I had so few things to hope for, I suppose I would have clutched at anything. Auntie was very kind to me while I tried to fi
much pain to do it. But she refused, and told me I should be ashamed even to consider turning my back on my own ancestors. She helped me set the tablets up on a shel