che, tears, phases, love... It wasn't even possible. What do you take with you and what do you leave behind? What is more

aughter at certain times, and other times I could not help the tears that fell into the box

t was going with me, but the room was still stuffed to t

e all his parts anymore didn't mean that he would be thrown away. He was the first part of my life, and I guess I saved him to remember that. He was the part of my life of which I had the least memories if any, but there was

That had been a shock to me. I had never seen a dead person until the open casket at my grandmother's funeral. She didn't look like she was sleeping at all. Her lips were pressed to tight and she would never ha

o take me on the adventure of my life. I only packed the last one he gave me into the box I was taking with me. He gave me the very last package I would ever open only four months ago. It was the day after I came out of the closet. He ha

or

they understood just how much I really needed to be in my room right now, soak

already an echo through the house that I was not used to. Like it was already empty, a

was taking with me. He might have been safer in storage, but we had seen so much together. A weird part of me reall

e was some sort of bad news and honestly I wanted to prolong it for as long as I could. It was not like I was scared. It was just that I wasn't

le wrap standing along the walls. Even the chairs were covered in what seemed

as pulled up in a ponytail. She only wore it like that when she was on her way to bed, but never during

ext to her and observed which a living room where once

s to keep you warm. We can't arrive at your aunt's with the entire house," mom said. Her voice sou

ed because she told me again. On the other hand I kn

me come and pack the kitchen please? I rea

ast few days. It was however a helpless feat to hide it from me. I could hear her at nights when she was in her bed. The sobs she tried to muffle into her pillow after midnigh

It wasn't like I could say no. At best w

rs, only to stop right in front of the fireplace where the bronze urn proud

turning around to find my mother facin

ith us," she said trying to summon a wry

lding up in my chest. It took all my might not to b

ran her hand over its smooth surface with a smile. Almost as

her voice bitter and loving all at the same time. It was an

ears burning behind my eyes. I promised myself that I would not

ack the kitchen since he is stil

for her to say something back. To tell me not to be disrespectful like she had so many times in the past. Instead she just stood there. Star

e, but she still wasn't saying a word. She was just gazing at me as if she wanted m

ight through mine. I was almost certain that the hazel of my eyes wer

rashing down as she wiped her hand over her hair. She was defeated, not

back up the stairs to my room. I could feel the t

l not

l not

l not

words going through my head,

the closet I could feel the tears wetting my cheeks, flowing a

ould go into storage I barely heard her come into my room. The hug was unexpected a

nto my ear. "I know it's hard on

my body that ripped through the

d damn vegetables every night. So why did it have to happen to me? Bad things didn't happen to good people. As long as you were good everything would go well. That's what I believed. Do unto others as you would have them do unto you. I never did an