the hundredth tim

fa

matter if I asked h

imes. That wasn't somet

iced. Listening was rese

took b

eft my lips as my moth

ear in heavy sp

," I r

to go with that other

mother asked in Spanish

ne that is all flimsy an

er, I need to tell you tha

short, and the cut of the

your color either. I don

he wedding s

. But I alrea

ike a ... frog

hanks,

y head. "It doesn't ma

ed dr

line. "Ay. Why didn't

alf an hour about all

soon as it came

let myself get ca

nfirm that, but she did

That is such a beautiful

flir

was that supp

be entering the b

, that was wh

lly flatter your skin,

e frog

"I don't think I'll

too quickly for takin

s boyfriend of yours goi

in the same shade of ba

ut of my mouth. "Mamá,

fically told us

y insistent-no matchin

that instruction on the in

nvince her that she didn'

id

birth to the bride and

ur sister is going to ha

ubborn. I certainly was,

he woman had created th

to the world the

ave to," I admitt

I scribbled on my to-do

e

cher you can use, I t

ptop and absently chec

utside Spain. But it sho

ould be able to use my

n't that what the intern

notification for a n

quick scan of the conten

y waited for my mother t

t

net is for that? Or ye

che

at, reading through th

in

en talking abo

check the voucher your

this inter

still not knowing w

has a tie

e

n returned to t

d when I didn't answer

formed on my forehe

ssing

i

n't have but my fam

I had to

to

s were magically sewn t

hange the topic in that

my mind went on

say anyway? No, Mamá

xist. I made him up, you

less patheti

. Or pretend to be busy

h remorse, and frankly, I

f that. Also, my m

w somethi

an whose womb I

way as nothing came o

the first time in probably

for my answe

h

seconds t

shit

in my head said. But I

roplets of sweat trail

id, her voice unsure.

pp

g human being who had

ould hear i

oat, I ignored the heavi

in my stomach

as one of those sighs

myself. As if I could s

and a little sorrow, sha

can talk to me if

ring my stomach. I fel

do besides keep ly

p? You know, it would

im before. Not until the

could hear my heart dr

d something yest

Anything Mamá knew,

n

he continued when I di

photos of him

sed m

on Facebook anymore,

e I kept battli

ever it is that you y

there e

outing all my social pro

bbing her hands when

not Prinstanam official

louder in my chest. "I

n. "But if you broke up

did what-you can talk to

you have struggled with

ou know, si

a knife to the chest

g ugly and painful. Som

ied, why I struggled-as

s predicament in

t anybody home in all

And never talked about this one before you told

o, if you are

ry sharp pang pierced

t's

i

could tell my mother. I h

hat regret somewhere dee

I was no longer in a relat

y-nonexistent-boyfrien

lone. And tha

f. And maybe she was r

ve sh

I felt a surge of cour

come

be fun. The pity looks

uld certainly suck. And th

ad no o

popped up in my mind.

elc

kicked

d it again since Monday

ould have changed anythi

o believe he ha

okay; Mamá

ollow up with my decis

e a compulsive liar for s

but of course, luck wasn

mediately killed whate

er voice sounded sho

"every person is differ

our lives after going th

ime than others. And if

re's nothing to be asha

hat isn't important. You

e, L

ped to my feet

eeded to put his life ba

, he jumped off tha

n truth? Something that

worse. He had merrily c

n stuck. And everybody

tending that wed

, my mother uttered m

rybody understands. Yo

dy unde

erybody thought they

all those pobrecita, poor

and nods, as if they got

dy else, were the reaso

crawl out of my skin at

st love, my ex, the groo

iancée would only reinf

e

fter fleeing the c

uc

y was. But, man, all t

that now-not because it

s, but because I had lie

p my mind not to

stands. You went

very gentle

dn't do it. I wouldn't b

the whole damn

aid my name in that wa

u still

sounded wobbly and h

ted that it had. I ex

r. "Nothing happened wit

Lina Martín, professional

said I would." I forced

let me talk before jumpi

e, I could ha

the speaker of the

id. I didn't think an

at I was out of the stor

ly softly. "So, you

I lie

o the wedding wit

rre

lize my hands were swe

if I hadn't been grippi

w York too,

ep

nd then adde

d and

his name

mewhere along my throa

I? I didn't thi

my options very quickl

easy, manageab

mple

o didn't exist or

re?" my mother chimed

ave you forgotten yo

d her, hearing my distr

e, distracting me. My

e had wedged himself in

horrifyingly bad timin

and placed himself i

ught I heard

n front of me, across my

op on its

is he

other's offices. We n

ered

s fell on me. It was fol

ly dealing with a lifethreatening crisis. Which

ing. After only a couple

ed one. I could see th

son who could have walk

d had to

Lord?

d myself say in

when my mother someh

ar

aze locked with his. W

a

" Mamá

k

widened.

the Spanish words, p

at shouldn't ha

work?" he queried,

on the line, asked in S

ng? This Aaron

p. Eyes wide and mouth

esonated inside my cle

he world

she pr

, and he sighed with r

ere. Not

't he l

alizing she'd take that

uld do exactly that, wou

to ba

nd shook his head agai

ave my lips

is it so warm in my

thed, You

sabes?" came a

off, not really knowing

r. I felt like I was fly

round at a breakneck s

m crashing. None of my

id with a laugh. "What i

wanted

this powerful urge to c

onto New York's mercil

th my bare hands. While

once. I wanted to

blue eyes. He tilted hi

even take a d

h my other hand and ad

defeated voice, "

ront of him. "No, plea

your personal call." He

t and brought a fist unde

il you a

ly leave my ears, a bla

and circling

on the line, spoke, "Yo

on Aaron, and before I

until Abuela hears about

know what

been still flying on aut

"Uno no com

ps puckere

other chuckle. "I'll l

is man you are dating w

g then

r. What I'll do is die,

i

aid instead. "I love y

o

," my mother said ri

uch-needed air, I glare

old and dropped my phone

ng my

our mo

pable of speaking. It

come out of my t

ood at

I nodde

" he asked me with

you said in Spa

ing with that horrible,

d how big I had messed

th Aaron, who, on top of

d to chat with

e to do that? He showed

minute

ok my

even care?

Only slightly but I

a jerk, I brought my ha

lm my

"I'm a little ... stre

ftening my voice and fi

n him. I didn't want to

unsettled. I hated the i

completely inappropriate,

y desk, and h

look at him, I could onl

I printed out some more

e outlined." His voice

that was. "I left

h

e wooden surface, findi

n bigg

n my gut, turning into

s for me to fe

, massaging my templ

ould have just sent the

s could have

ght everyth

equired my full focus,

with a highlighter in han

probably had because it was a waste of paper or

ill a jerk for snapp

at was ..." I trailed of

f you. I'll go through

d to look at him, I reac

t in fro

assed where nei

l standing there, all st

. But he didn't say any

kept my eyes trained on t

d out

d to stretch into a pa

I was about to lose the

waited a full minute unt

... I let

k with a muffled thud.

tack of papers that Aaro

put my foot in my mo

me of my made-up b

ut of me. It was

like

head against the

iota. Tonta. Boba. Y

a

l. Not only was I an idi

io

pushed another

m the door. It w

I trusted to retrieve

nd register me into the

usted to ... a

thing oka

o

what I had jus

hoved her hand bet

ld your horses. "You

of my pastrami panini,

old her, not caring that

last part again." Rosie

ith shock. "You know wh

? I must be missing some

little too much

, I gave her a fake, too

of the conten

dy in the coworking spac

nch, could see me. At t

floor anyway. Leave it

uch space-and money bec

a coworking and shar

make use of it outside

ables to my right were

ssive floor-to-ceili

that." My friend pout

that's not a nice look.

ut of you

wing and finally wash

d hoped, food had don

of anxiety was still as

anini." On any other da

time, and I was tryin

se you should have don

was soft, just how all t

ds prickled at my skin

t you decided to ma

nown Rosie would-sweet

had kept from her all th

n a relations

y hand out across the ta

. I should never have

have done that." Sh

s going to tell you

who." I wouldn't say h

n air when I did. I squee

abuela to light a few can

warded with m

to think about it for a

ed back. "But instead of

to one of your

k etched on my face

blush rise in her cheek

who surfs and has a Belg

dre

savage cousins coul

ea

turned a dark

end acquainted with on

clan? U

immediately rememberin

ies. But it had all been

"Lucas, the one wi

casually, shruggi

ucas," I hissed. "I'll

g though. Taco is al

led. "That's such

ed my hand and reached

N

was still there. Hangi

ousin, I suppos

He is a barbarian, a br

usin." I took a cleansing

u some horror stories fro

ably ruin the male

ell. "If you must ... n

nk I need extra assistan

e want to reach out aga

show up. She just needed

s included. "But before t

ur horro

Th

rything about it." My g

the bottle. "I gave you a

to my parents that I wa

somehow made my mom be

e-eyed jerk who had appe

the label completely off

you want

the facts. But wh

to which she nodded.

up de

d both arms on the tab

ing." She glanced at me

ently but without a smile

ou going to do a

hell do

ze roam around the cow

bles and the hanging fer

this until my plane tou

why my boyfriend

you sure you w

"Yes." Bringing both

y the start of a hea

at in for a long moment

r him f

m my temples to the

d to my feet.

ust couldn't believe sh

me by replyi

son? I don't see how I

thi

ped her hands together

a business negotiation,

is all that bad," she

r was a very

es, not buying my bulls

hings a little too serious

ould make him any bette

ai

ed. "Like what? His st

ht off. Ugh, that me

actually talk to him ab

one who offered h

still hadn't figured ou

irst

of him, Rosie," I tol

know what happene

"That was a long

averting my gaze. "But

n that just because it ha

somehow been

ed over a

rected her far too qui

at's closer to two year

d paper sheet that

" Rosie remarked softly

h chances to people who

en repe

as my mother's daughte

"It's not

y n

cau

arder; she was not lett

ay it. We were goi

i

told our boss that he

n his second day of work

ry. "Key on anyone. Ev

Aaron mention Gerald in

rd everyt

ust not her. I don't thi

ing on this project

erien

our boss on the phone

cidentally overheard, and

ed in my

wo days, Rosie. Two."

d he was new. He came h

cked me out of a projec

r what? Because he didn

se I looked young? Becau

worked hard. I've worke

at comments like that c

or the pressure of my b

mp

calm myself, I rel

t me with the understan

omething else there to

n't like whatever

do, I swear

needed her to be on m

a

und the table and take

ed and f

asn't all tha

my back and continued,

n want to be on the Gree

omplained abou

o and find a best frie

course she remembered th

o a differe

as you very well said,

ered to do that before

talk shit abou

ont of my chest. "What'

, he judged you based o

you can come across a lit

us. Somet

the way in Spain. "Excu

mm

My friend smiled warm

didn't give me the chan

here, and you are amazi

and fun working atmosph

lea

ection far better," I

't have a way o

you defending him? Sha

each other's enemies a

y of the best-fri

eled, looking frustr

nu

y, deflating in my chai

ea

hurt-understandably s

rite him of

d and hurt too. Somethi

on shallow impression

ecially after I had gone

ivision with the best a

hown up in his office wi

bout being an engineer.

I hadn't done that for

looked at it in horror a

I cracked jokes like

that kind of stuff abo

d just made me feel small

aside after not measurin

silence as confirmatio

oulder. "You were hurt,

n enough to hat

at this point, I didn't

e. "It's not like he has

en a constant pain in

saving homemade grano

for me when he didn't ha

ayed late, working wi

nes

hose three occasions, he

my

she countered. "You

how you two have been l

other

off, turning in my seat t

ore you launch yourself

and wh

ad the nerv

. "I don't kno

me with a look. "You

o need a reminder, so h

y index finger. "Since I

s about me, to our boss n

ou know how seriously I

hed my palm with my othe

ven Zay

snickering. "Oh, Lor

ay that I haven't forgo

us on May 19, 2019." I

nerys Stormborn of the

han that?" I paused, just

Ro

e your side on that one

, holding a hand in the

and he will stay

ke in my words, mullin

ke passionately

igh. "I just want what'

es that made me think sh

e

er I was, I launched my

ng her a good squeeze. F

st. This whole thing was

on Blackford." Squeezin

eyelids falling shut

hen my eyes opened b

g figure that cou

spered with my arms st

pproaching man. "We ha

ord close the distance

n front of us. We were st

Rosie's

e in, looking somewhe

sure because he did a g

g behind that

e summoned?" I he

om each other under Aaro

riend whis

rd that, but he didn't r

ng in fro

forced a tight-lipped

re

. "Rosie." He looked at

one of his eyebrows up.

e

ived," I muttered unde

was almost touching his h

essons on how to become

the t

ly. Then, he turned tow

I have a m

h

ing something t

y frien

you, Rosie. Something

he called Hand-Breaker h

seen Héctor

liver 'Hand-Breaker'? I

y feel your bones grinding together." She shook

s she had-the corporate

A panicky look took over

I had meant to be downsta

ss with

stopping her before

eyes narrowing slightly

p

ued, "About

idn't have a cat,

ie looked everywhere

neighbor Bryan, yeah. Ye

." She shoo

further and then jumpe

stuttered throug

f Mr. Cat this week be

town. You know how mu

y, as if Rosie's gibbe

cats?" Aaron asked, shoc

do you ..." I cleared my

d. "It's a h

s pants pockets, taking

irles

d, trying to sound as ca

ed Aaron's face, not a

t. "You live in New Yor

Friends?" Nothing there.

I pretended he hadn't c

said, gifting us with

really need to go

etically. I stood up, t

plain more a

coming to get me. Tha

ly-"very ki

led m

me softly. "Wa

ht she was being c

I said with a

later." Rosie rushed towa

beh

ence surrounde

his throat.

cut him off, pretendin

t. But after everything

rocky start during my con

do was talk to Aaron. "

say?" I shot after my fr

ressed in a flat line as

turned one last time,

ord, I gotta go. You can

Okay,

ck to him, Rosie ca

g on the call butt

led after her, willing

e eyes I was sure was dr