t panick

war zone, but I was

n? Under

e generous mirror placed

th what I promised would

idn't have anything to

predicament-and as of

hings considered, that

know what I wa

en. Sharp. Eveni

more details, I did not

t it was a mistake I wa

proached things. I rush

weave my existence into

ntan

number on

two: what the

l I had struck with som

ams-no, nightmares-hav

d by. Aaron

yself as I unzipped ano

e vuelto loca. He perd

throwing it onto the

ached for my robe. The

could get and I couldn't

r this or stuffing m

my apartment, I massage

ving room from the bedr

ed. Something I liked t

space-even if limitedly s

the mess I had made of th

ewhere roomier. Somewhe

wrecking th

oes, and bags scattere

ee table. Nothing had bee

carefully decorated in w

ere-like the beautiful w

t-closer resembled a fa

o

ed to

be tighter, I grabbed m

dre

harp, and I was helples

at resembled a gown. Bec

I was dressing for

on's phone number to t

self clear. It wasn't lik

the enemy, so I had n

l now, a

p of a discarded pile o

s my living room. Grab

had picked up from a fle

n my lap and let my b

ded cushions, I logged

co

ith a little bit of luck

s laptop on a Saturday. A

a business transaction?

that didn't leave room

u scratch mine kind o

lea

aste, I opened a new e

artin@In

ckford@I

Urgent In

Blac

lf yes, but also at him

is kind

ation, I'm still waitin

meeting. I find myself

consequently lead to an

tract d

sons of Gossip Girl,

the wrong thing to a "

reakin

re of, it is of utmost

at your earlie

t back to

reg

a M

hit Send and watched m

en for a long minute, wai

hird time I unsuccessful

the fifth, little drops

s clad in a winter robe-s

my

he didn'

all this wasn't more

nd make me believe he'

ie'd

t do that, a voic

though? I had more

Aaron was very much c

h

all? He attended "socia

s", for crying out lou

those cookies

laptop, cookie package

rt, Aaron's answer was w

ef left

ookie, I clicked

ackford@I

rtin@In

e: Urgent

there in

e

a

in t

ted me from finishing

g stuck in my throat a

my apartment. In one

d agreed he'

om the kitchen, I look

. "Mi

I shouldn't. But Aaron

cookie than give him a

hear the

k on the counter, and

ork. One hour. I had si

second more or less-to f

took me the whole hou

hen the doorbell rang, n

thing that didn't make m

ustration had al

n," I muttered under

tment door. "A

zed h

un atop my head, I

Be nice, I told my

k on t

d took a deep breath, r

I coul

le, I arranged my expre

w the do

clipped tone. "I ..."

tever that was vanished

ing for. My lips parted,

ng any words. I cleared

. Ok

me with a funny look

es hadn't grown t

y not? How couldn't an

the sight of what

aron. No. Nuh-uh. Bef

ion of Aaron that was dif

n

-dead gorgeous. And not

ant. Classy. Sleek. Attr

s, grab your fa

ike that? Where was the

t I had black-listed and

taken me nothing more th

like a s

answer right in front

t have been noticing this

t. It was a tuxedo. A fre

in the door to my apar

ed

nged here with me. Not

bow tie, not that deep b

freaking movie-star tux

re drawing togethe

wearing?" I asked in a

ou about trying t

watched his eyes leav

e up and down a co

s expression, as if he

as s

ly exposed and uncomfor

ce, not knowing what el

oudly for a reason I

to ask you the same que

ong finger in my general

assuming I'd take yo

are my ears were turn

od. This Aaron I could de

rsion that had punched th

no idea wha

face, I squared my sho

grabbed on to the hem o

us I was actually feelin

stead. "I wouldn't want

entioned. Do you think

r that for a long mo

That's a lot of velour

lo

ledge in fabrics for so

fferent pieces

cross his face, one I

ry briefly, inhali

patience slipping away

ake it. We

ining his composure, "

f heat straight to

e for what I'm wearing

u going to let me in, or

door while yo

uest?" Inhaling throug

lling me out, I turned

fore the entrance to my

ver my shoulder. "I gues

either, hu

yes, extremely thankfu

a

e I had really called Aa

ea of my studio and opene

feel only slightly better.

finally turned, I d

is tuxedo-leaned agai

hen and living room sp

s. Still studying my at

trageously

lized. The way he loo

I was at home and he

had agreed. It was stup

e feel all those months

e had almost thrown that

Or how all the remarks

er stopped b

as incapable of letting i

epended on it. Like my g

nd I was out o

ropriate for summer."

s boiling up, but I h

ned on the kitchen cou

rink, Anna Wintour? Or w

hich my robe is ou

ch, fighting a smile. M

of this rem

e did not move a sin

hich were still battli

a water bottle and plac

or myself-"you could ha

d to show up h

did. "I did you a fav

me

rowed to thin slits. "

up with your pockets

ember that," he said, so

ng my mouth to ask him

y didn't you call me in

d have saved us both som

he added w

r. Blackford woul

idn't ask you to come he

tle and took a gulp of w

ou if I don't have yo

t him over

t. "You should have it

passed along all our pri

have ev

ttle and screwed the li

to save Aaron's number

that didn't make me feel

the truth. "Why would I

my words for a moment,

ening, he leaned away

then?" He got us back

sclosed with s

if I don't know where we

ug. "It's like Dressin

of his eyebrows rose.

" I placed the bottle

er. "And it wasn't enou

re det

e hardheaded, blue-ey

enough informatio

hand to my fluffy pink

nough information?" I

d. "

ng my eyes. He genuine

wo-worded responses are

ro

that he looked ready t

air-kissed each other

. I certainly didn't have

dro

erstand about the word

he sleeve of his tux ja

events.

lin

ing that to me?" I star

d. "You are just ..." I co

really throwing som

is pants pockets as he

classy in tha

bbled all the way to m

d at me

A fundraiser that tak

lai

that crucial pie

drive into Manhat

no. That s

, so you'll need to dre

and down my body with

ace. "Just l

through my teeth. "Mier

tongue. "A fundraiser? A

ook my head, my hair al

pe my ass with dollar bil

t, Jesus." Bringing my ha

t comprised my kitchen

You could have told me

g this morning, Aaron.

s for you to choose from

a couple of formal gow

gh

six in the

l that for this?" His l

ir that I was not used to

its former pos

." I crossed my arms i

ourse I would have." Stu

was looking at me. "Firs

y event' "-I air-quoted

ave some sense of self-es

rras

ning with that qualit

wouldn't want you to

s wedding, just to spite

quette infringement now

I ..." I trailed off, l

ou, yo

how materialized on my

l it was too late and I w

answered, catching me by

have a

admission, I averted m

n out of his pockets a

ina," I heard him say.

and I know t

he had purposely said

napping back. But for so

just ... couldn't know if

r history. All the jabs, n

sure the other one di

ed eac

kford." I didn't sound

n't have time for this." W

my hand to the side of m

make yourself at home. I'

iser we are

s standing, his large f

ing area. Coming to a h

n eyebrow, asking him

ed over my short height,

face. Down my throat a

had massaged my s

ne with something I did

a

toes almost touching t

thing increase its pace a

quickly with every se

uti

ook away, I h

couldn't help but notice

ad expanded a couple of

all clad in that tux that

g hard not to look at. No

newness he seemed to be

out and traveled along

s full lips shone under

too warm beneath the f

s feeling too hot, seeing

any thing

k to his blue eyes. They

ed in. Hidden behind them

is body inched in my dire

be it was just

t really

ice was low and hushed,

ring it th

was long-lost, but I

Of cour

I smelled the mint on

know how important you

ords hit me harder tha

lips parted, and my sto

ack on my wor

eally reassuring me?

been between us, this w

r and square? That he wo

tainly sounded like it. W

nestly hoped he didn'

en wrong

n wasn't a

about him. I ... I di

of this, frankly. And the

openness right on me, th

harder it was for me

Catalina?" he pressed

le

don't understand a sing

e

vocal cords somehow

eft my lips, making me cl

managed out. "If you do

e late ot

ngly smooth for someon

his body to one side, sti

ill taking up too much s

specially when I walked

brushed h

ry har

t in my body rushe

egs, my skin feeling cl

red myself, tugging at t

I am flushe

d of my studio apartmen

e myself think ab

him in a tux. Or his min

y part. Not what

turning, wanting t

o

I threw the doors open

owned that would rise

ed my

f clothing with the pote

drobe, grabbed the pair

e of accessories, and h

aron a sideways gla

velvety blue sofa, dwar

idn't even lift his head

i

nooping around or flaun

ing body

o. This behavior of mi

me-wasn'

n there," I said over m

space in my small apart

me

walled room in my apa

skin cooler. It didn't ha

dress from the shower

p and

an eternity-and at th

lly content with how I

full-length wall mirror I

ing a sleeveless floo

and midnight blue. The

itely not evening gown-

kirt all the way up, stop

assy touch. Although the

en if it didn't give a

like it did-was embedde

absolutely beautiful. Th

nths ago. And why I hadn

rgotten it wa

waves of brown hair fa

t it would have to do. F

lipstick. But I quickly

. I'd rather reserve

ppening anytime soon. D

or a lo

elt an uncomfortabl

te in what felt like

hy or unattractive enoug

a few dates here and the

oint, I had stopped try

was something wrong wi

ad managed to leave my

again-somewhere

e mirror, I realized I

es for just as long. An

ced

was something I had l

was a route I swor

g this way? How had I

st time in months, I was p

es, and I was doing it

deal. A sort of business

re I needed to make up a

e a tota

true as ever. I w

turned me to the prese

ide my bedroom. Impatie

r was a

it going to take you

arried through the bathr

long e

the little clock I had

fifteen minutes to spare

eed to pick me up

is one was harder

tal

lack of patience with

't always get his way.

ight, fourtee

that had reopened in my

ls and lifted it to the t

on th

the same with the left

and I p

me. My lockless door f

nd revealing a v

ring blue eye

shaky legs as I felt m

k of the

elief surfaced in those

when I called your name

was still on the doorkno

e shoulders occupying a

ld of t

my face very slowly.

didn't get a chance t

place. I watched Aaron'

xpression hardening with

ng down tightly by the t

ne. A musc

... was

he was. For what reason

ps pressed in that tight l

ered

head told me that he p

s thing with him. The at

ng gown was probably no

so disp

in the pit of my stomac

ahold of. One that was

ron Blackford," I hissed

ith you?!" My chest hea

w how t

as hard, matching his e

of his reverberated

e been naked

me, not letting go of th

at made me wonder if it

ssu

aid, voice still hard.

ke

and to his face. Just i

my shoulders, traveled

expression clouded furt

r a long

ing, the longer neithe

t is even

he more the air filled u

ers

ing. Much more than ea

guard came down, all kin

othing to stop

he silence. My voice com

ing w

st once. His eyes bou

y. "You fou

oking down briefly. "It

te that I forgot it was e

edge, making me feel in

, that doesn't matter. Not

t's the only one I have

lms along my thighs,

messing with

oat worked.

ll

been expecting him to s

n't stung a t

king away, not letting

mouth to smile, I only

toothy

he was, not utte

keeping that fake megaw

ant to be la

r, he moved out of the w

use I wasn't in the mood

athroom, and I made su

ith my shoulder. And two

whatever Aaron