The Love That Returns from Afar

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a man almost twice my age, all while endu

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him, and he turned me down. Now, just a week later, he's

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he left for the

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riend just to get me

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wered

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as just

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Kieran Harris began

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ever he pleased with his camera slung over his shoulder. He'd traveled

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him from a distance. I even thought about asking him to mentor me, but I held back.

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route I could think of – whenever I had t

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of our early encounters consisted

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e I finally complimented him in just the right wa

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particularly quiet, his gaze

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lines of his face, casting him in a melancholic glow, a

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rawn to him, to fall dee

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sion, hoping to walk the same roads he had, see the same

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alent, but I w

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as a student of his, but he did start talking t

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d meant a

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graphy abruptly to pursue a bu

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a sh

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id when he he

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a long time, and Dad ram

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my way and, with h

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al. She'll go further tha

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art pounding, and the smile tugging

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ally thought I mi

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not

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breaking slightly.

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o keep my emo

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it's been me who's a

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bout him

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ng for him, had he chosen to

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dad came around the corner

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, you s

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siness; no outsid

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hing for some flicker of

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wanted him to

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just wanted him to acknowledge what I was f

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. He left with his new girlf

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flushed with ange

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ts out of your head. I'm

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end myself, nor did

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d for his belt,

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door interrupted him, sounding like s

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I sprinted to the do

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wasn't

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hed over me in waves,

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nging clients, coming by to invite hi

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d I couldn't help but wonder

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pe, desperately searching for anything that

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my dad gave me

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inking about the famil

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had reputati

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y trampled on the ground

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ep, poring over every moment with him, lookin

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e out of bed. I threw on hea

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, loneliness felt

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o run into Kieran a

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between his lips, his face cold

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ate. Go

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eth and tried t

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't know you.

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this hour? He's definitely asking

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to walk

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way. We were close enough that I could

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almost never touch

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ating away at

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s eyes narrowed in the grayish haze, radi

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leaned close, his

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should handle a kid

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while to snap back and regain

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ly are you doing? S

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ly, a rare hint of

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hat's out there. The world i

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n was all sharp edges, one icy

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ght he was

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reserved, easygoing attitude, but tonight, he'd broken t

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esitation, I coul

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care a

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thought I saw a flicke

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I'm an older family

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y head like he was cons

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nd, barely able to k

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romantic nonsense, maybe yo

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to clin

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ing – seemed t

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out over the street, and le

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bar were dim and errat

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he time I stumbled toward the exit, I was unsteady,

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ct, a hand gripped my s

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n unable to make out the details, but I instincti

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t a strained sigh

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't m

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oyfriend, jus

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is chin up and giving

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just o

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ed at

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or so long. Just

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after that

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as convinced it had

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up sprawled across a ho

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e night together when

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re aw

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era

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as

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ately, but froz

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as a stranger, a young m

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r me, my fingers

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t, was it.

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g myself to fin

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me a bottl

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Threw up a few times. Here –

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he hotel, I was

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night felt like a

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that desperat

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ha

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you h

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y following me, rushing forward to stea

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ly pull

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faces around

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don't follo

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need for discretion, noddin

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but just before I got into the car,

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st features, a cle

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uilt, as if I'd somehow taken adv

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realized I'd lost

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ust sitting on the edge of the s

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assed before a shadow fell a

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afternoon sun. The light caught his high cheekbones and the fain

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nable to say anything. It felt as if, for a brief m

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t down to check my forehead,

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t's

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feelin

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ice almost brought

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. I'm

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ing to measure

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elf. Don't stay up late, a

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ttal, trying to hold back ev

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ext to me, ignori

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ith your parents an

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with you anymore. We

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ath hi

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That I was being ridiculous and yo

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business deals to

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etending not to notice

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, a sound so soft it was almos

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ad in; it's to

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more than I'd expected. I wanted to reach

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t of last nigh

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ment, I found mysel

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won't be diff

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. Harris" in years. It

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ess – it had to mea

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to for so long. I wouldn't continue the secret chase for something

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go. And I was lett

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ght, his expression unread

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re picking up his pace and d

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to lose its color. Everything

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tried to escape to my room

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you come hom

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uesti

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le, fighting t

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friends and lost

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to say more but just patted

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he facade, acting as i

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cleared his throat, putting on his au

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come with me to a gathering. I've got a

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reach for the food

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time to show a

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couldn't really turn

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ilent disappointment

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e fantasy; they wanted me to li

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hering to show an

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rig

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ade it impossible for me to keep up the polite, demure act

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up with, Tristan Griffiths, turned out

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tchmaker behind thi

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everyone, I whipped out my pho

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e pins piercing my skin, each

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the call

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urte

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you? I need to se

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e before a soft, gentl

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appened. Kieran's in the bathroom; I ca

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ugh my limbs, cold and painful. I leaned ba

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se, I finally ma

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noth

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off my phone, and

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dence or something he'd p

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it matte

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all poi

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of the restaurant and let myself drift along wit

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only to find myself lo

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t seemed to see right through me, and h

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y somethi

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ask

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was his father m

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d s

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ightly. If he speaks highly of you, there

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illar, trying to mask my bi

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ow what Kieran

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to handle a skittish animal. I probably looked like

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s said you

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and stron

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with the effort. Between bursts o

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t do you

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er of something uncert

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my laughter f

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w you for myself, not thr

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O

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of hair as I leaned in closer

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me if what you f

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e I could hea