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浪漫主义

浪漫主义

Author: Zhihu Select
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Chapter 1

Word Count: 3057    |    Released on: 06/11/2024

pte

1

ve in love a

2

w Connor, that was

3

s pride with my lowliness, as fervent and

4

s utterly exhausted

5

lse when my lif

6

S

7

e I

8

, he stirred

9

wing I was greedy, selfish, and prone

1

lways, he ke

1

ssages from Connor, but th

1

1

capacity for endurance and

1

I tried to dissolve my negative emotions on

1

t coy, hoping he'd com

1

mbarrassment and said, "I really

1

to console girls

1

want to be

1

straightforward guy not to know how to

2

would love me

2

me overlook the obvi

2

il

2

a sharp pain in my lower abdomen jolted me from

2

rual

2

vers in the sweltering heat, eyes tightly shut, hopi

2

eason, and this time the cramps

2

careful not to wake my roommate, an

2

ld be f

2

sured

3

ith the medication. Instead,

3

est not to take painkillers on an empty stomach and

3

ching in the bathro

3

e light just as

3

y my appearance that

3

your lips

3

er and stayed with me unti

3

next day, for a mom

3

time, still wanting t

3

ke to be disturbed, so I didn't dare cal

4

comfortable and wanted

4

unset when he f

4

o

4

going

4

G

4

e hos

4

, there weren't too ma

4

I knew that distance made any expressio

4

ependent woman, I sh

4

he

5

comfort me or

5

ed in teaching

5

olled up through our chat history, tr

5

the distance, or now, it was always me tireless

5

always so i

5

larly wronged; I just

5

lings

5

5

even though we've been broken up for a

5

was full of

6

e college, both facing th

6

and Harry Potter, b

6

e just after verify

6

he Little Prince, and my pro

6

idences didn'

6

had seen

6

aring up at the slightest hint, yet we loved challenging our taste buds. We both adored pastries and tomato scrambled eggs, wh

6

t known each

6

a bit s

6

call me f

7

s

7

ted for

7

plied,

7

t someone so sim

7

ere

7

sion to

7

s pu

7

uh

7

e the

7

for singing on the

8

memb

8

rrying guitars and other equipment singing on the p

8

ngs while wandering th

8

t never ap

8

o

8

come and

8

, there weren'

8

the center of the field, holding a guit

8

gentle, like

8

olgirl-style outfit, shivering i

9

close, sitting cross

9

ice me, slightly

9

ght, I couldn

9

erson, probably his frien

9

ee y

9

and guitar to his frien

9

he

9

ite hoodi

9

me, wearing a whit

9

framing round, droopy puppy eyes filled with laughter; his sl

1

the kind of

1

lawn, with him beside me, i

1

eld you fro

1

with a

1

really t

1

observe this boy who shared

1

ted his profile, his prominent nose cutting through the light and shado

1

ense my gaze,

1

y head, trying to h

1

nd finished singing

1

ing sitti

1

is friend handed him

1

of songs do

1

ng to rap and instrumental music la

1

elplessly,

1

u'

1

it hard

1

hair resting on his glasses frame, his focus visible through the l

1

scene, I fel

1

d play the

1

entioning it in pa

1

cal instruments and wasn'

1

elessly pestered him, saying I liked t

1

, without

1

1

or last fall, a mont

1

mpus, lifting fallen leaves and u

1

sked me about the re

1

break up. She always suspected that I had acted on impulse

1

d we b

1

uite articul

1

because of th

1

n and wait hours just for a cup of my favorite milk tea, eve

1

remembered

1

nd Valentine's Day, he would

1

ergy, but that didn't stop me from receiving mango-flav

1

emembered to

1

ort myself

1

g nor making a scene. I was never used to cryi

1

message, still in

1

ct: "I'm aller

1

e apol

1

sor

1

y process, and once it was o

1

d as insignificant as

1

followed, silence

1

os, sharing them, and writing all sorts of n

1

social media, my first reaction w

1

not a specific moment, my

1

him, and he didn't r

1

e. Without hesitation, she assumed it wa

1

it that I realized we hadn't

1

ow could it have

1

if he didn't reply to my mes

1

ess until the middle of the night, and eventually,

1

n't

1

fort me

1

ng one of our video calls, tears

1

s his r

1

he was

1

didn't know how

1

o many demands that

1

worn down, my heart

1

, I suggested

1

s bre

1

se

1

le w

1

ing was incredibly straightforward and ea

1

me I was inde

1

e heart-wrenching pa

1

st... ve

1

agr

1

was what he

1

the breakup and suggested treating me to a la

1

front and a beauty besi

1

icious food that we seldom eat

1

reall

1

tantly after a

1

ncern and sympathy, like

1

sor

1

zed insti

1

s ov

1

tween Connor and me were over,

1

n early win

1

er the covers to grab my vibrating

1

o see me, traversing a dista

1

1

ad opened on campus, and Jerred

1

, tears and snot streaming down his face, goin

1

e doing thi

1

ned to

1

back to our dorms fo

1

unned, unable to thi

1

body, spending most o

1

badminto

1

we play

1

ugge

1

ur

1

prised he remem

1

imate the time and book a c

2

e exercise within half

2

e court from two

2

ed with

2

rfe

2

enior, much taller than me, making it

2

say, but many guys are se

2

ll, making him the p

2

ements, and his round eyes under his

2

he wasn't the

2

ty minutes, he w

2

ir

2

leaned on the ne

2

sheepishly

2

o take

2

sa

2

his eyes lit up, and he

2

s stomach slightly bulging,

2

tted his belly and made

2

happens when

2

xpla

2

eaving my mark on almost eve

2

nu cafe. I'm really curious about it and

2

closer to me; otherwise, he wouldn'

2

shifted to an u

2

e low and slow, "Have you be

2

en in lo

2

following the prin

2

question b

2

abou

2

Wel

2

ally,

2

line relati

2

lin

2

uite su

2

ea

2

meeting, we lost contact. Even whe

2

sn't satisfi

2

lained

2

, his voice clear, filled

2

k why you

2

ed cau

2

y the question, so

2

ll explai

2

oved on; perhaps time has qu

2

r again, I felt

2

see me last November,

2

were seeing

2

ut was now un

2

entle, but so

2

he seemed too gentl

2

ving our

2

how he shared an umbrella with me in the drizzling rai

2

was what initia

2

d in manner, gentl

2

s this very gentlenes

2

ning about an ex is somewhat impolite,

2

as a

2

ard

2

nclu

2

us, ignored my anxiety and lack of security, an

2

ce only exacerb

2

despair and depth until all

2

forced me into a

2

mber, I instinctively

2

. He didn't explicitly

2

Walk with me o

2

and before I realized it,

2

to say something, but

2

returned to the past, but I

2

y walked me to

2

ooking back, but he suddenl

2

back in

2

e you th

2

thought this time, like bef

2

inue to be

2

s if it we

2

ended by h

2

riend, familiar but distan

2

estrained, trying not

2

s if he wanted t

2

ht say somethi

2

rst, "I'm

2

just walked most of the way around the

2

onships, from freshman year to senior year,

2

rse, was on the s

2

d quietly breathed

2

"At least I don't

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