ike an episode of The Good Life, and we both had a lot of work to do and were forced to fight with the property management company who accused us of ruining the look of the place. We managed to

't need it. You try the front door handle and seem shocked and appalled that it's not unlocked for you or some masked bandit to walk right into your house. You ring the doorbell. It never starts out polite, it's always rude, insulting. The number of times you ring the doorbell, the length of time your finger lingers there, like the doorbell is a machine gun. Your wife never answers right away. Neither do your children; I wonder if they don't even wake up now because they're so used to it, or if she's there with them, all huddled in one room while the kids cry, telling each other to ignore the scary noises at the door. Either way, no one comes. And then you knock on the door. You like to knock, and you spend many nights doing it, letting out your anger and tension. You go around the entire house, banging and punching every window you can reach. You taunt your wife in a singsong voice, "I know you're there," as if she's pretending she's not. I don't think she's pretending, I think she's making it very clear. I wonder if she's asleep or wide awake and praying for you to go away. I think it's the latter. And then you start yelling. I know she hates yelling because, more than anything, it's embarrassing to her, maybe because her voice is so distinctive-though no one can imagine there could be another couple on the street behaving like that. I don't know why you haven't figured this out yet, and you don't start yelling right away. She stands her ground-this is the first time I've ever seen that happen. You do something new. You get back in the car and start honking. I see Dr. Jameson's flashlight moving from the bedroom to a downstairs living room, and I hope he doesn't go outside to try to calm you down. You're definitely going to do something drastic. Dr. Jameson's front door opens, and I put my hands to my face, wondering if I should run out and stop him, but I don't want to get involved. I'll just watch, and if things get violent, then I'll step in, even though I have no idea what to do. Dr. Jameson doesn't show up. The dog comes running around the house at full s