TH'S

n't tell you is what happens after- when you wake up, gasping, in a b

loneliness, the cold finality of it all. And yet, somehow, I'm here.

ance. Maybe I can fix things. Maybe I can

was

ed to stay a

r

something heavy in my throat. I stopped going near the senior block -

me, point at me, and say mean thin

lone. I didn't want to see th

had my sketchbook, pretending to draw, but I was

footsteps.

ena. And

, hoping they would j

pped right in

d with a fake

d up. "

wicked way and h

"how nice and friendly w

d at th

s a p

and E

ng. He had his

the same way he u

harp pain

ped my sketch

et, but I didn't want to

one of her friends sa

rod liked her," anoth

started

wly. My whole b

na," I said, trying to sound strong. "But i

ed her e

ink you're

use I don't play wi

flipped her hair and said, "Keep dreaming,

again as they

art beating fast, my

dn't

front o

ing inside

rst time, I wa

s an

it hurts

lanation can erase that image from my mind-the way her mouth was on his. I w

I'm the f

ions it forces me to ask. How long has this been going on? Has he been playin

me like he's sorry, like he wants to explain-but what's left t

ye

k. K

art j

come from

Again- sharp

sway gently, whispering secrets I don't want to

r

fogs the glass. "Please," he says, bare

ind screams no, but something- somethin

es open with a

ot to wake the future. For a moment, we just stare at each other, s

xplain,"

I reply, my voice h

t what y

ou were kissing Elena. Wha

at last, crossing my arms. Not to seem str

filled with guilt and somethi

for this to h

ally happened? Why did I see you kissing he

d ran his hand through his

"Either you tell me the truth, or

his shoulde

," he said quiet

heart dr

us-months ago, I think. I

e walked in and caught me off guard. She came close, said so

ashed. She took a picture while

th wen

me," he said softly. "She threatened t

, my voice rising. "Just because she

fists tightening. "She said she'd dea

do? If my father find

s, like he was trying t

nking about," he said. "It's cra

?" I

eath. "What if I pre

at him.

. Make her think she's winning. Maybe she'll stay qu

? After all she's don

etend. It's manipulation, I know.

from him, my

walk around school with her? Let her smile in m

ly. "Just until we find another way

"I- I didn't mean for it to happen

reply, the do

ree

zab

what her eyes are seeing. Her gaze darts from Erod to me

he storm bef

I start, but

lf. Only this time, I don'