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That night at the graduation farewell dinner, he had his new girlfriend, the campus beauty, in his arms while everyone around was teasing him to introduce me, his childhood sweetheart, to someone. He glanced over at me sitting in the corner and said to his group of friends, "This silly big girl has a face that looks like someone owes her money. Who would want her?" I shrank back into the shadows, afraid that others would see the tears I was suppressing. An ugly girl doesn't have the right to cry; that was the first lesson I learned when I became his childhood sweetheart.
Chapter 1
Chapter 1
[1]
On the farewell dinner of the graduation, he had his arm around his new girlfriend, who was named Everleigh Ford. And she was a campus beauty. Everyone around us was egging him on to set me up with someone since I was his childhood sweetheart.
[2]
He glanced at me sitting in the corner and told his friends, "She's a lummox with a frowning face. Does anyone like her?"
[3]
I hid myself in the shadows, afraid that anyone might see the tears I was struggling to hold back.
[4]
Crying isn't for girls like me. This was the first lesson I learned when we became childhood sweethearts.
[5]
1
[6]
I met Gavin Marsh when I was just nine years old.
[7]
My parents had moved to this city for work, and our families became neighbors.
[8]
When my mom introduced me to him, I timidly stood behind my mother, looking at the handsome boy in front of me who was a bit too arrogant.
[9]
I wanted to get closer to him, yet instinctively felt a sense of danger.
[10]
In the end, I nervously extended my hand, offering him a peach-flavored lollipop I had been saving.
[11]
He swatted it away and shouted to his mom,
[12]
"I don't want to play with this lummox!"
[13]
That was the first nickname he gave me, and for the next ten years, I rarely heard him call me by my real name.
[14]
He never addressed me properly, always giving me teasing nicknames. And then only after I am about to lose my temper completely, he called my name. He also ordered me to do various things for him.
[15]
And every time, I fell for it.
[16]
I inherited my dad's height, so when other girls were still petite little sparrows, I was already the awkwardly conspicuous owl among them.
[17]
And because I had to transfer schools with my parents, I ended up staying in the same grade for another year.
[18]
Girls mature earlier than boys, so among the kids, I would always be the one who stands out the most.
[19]
But my height didn't serve as a shield.
[20]
A quiet, timid girl who stood out so much was naturally an easy target.
[21]
Yet when I was cornered by a group of boys and girls in the school bathroom and they drenched me with a can of cola, Gavin burst in.
[22]
I had never seen him like that before; he was like a fierce protector, hitting everyone, even the girls.
[23]
On the way home, I followed him silently, tears streaming down my face, my wet hair sticking to my scalp, sticky and disgusting.
[24]
Gavin stopped, turned around, and looked up at me.
[25]
"Stop crying. Crying isn't for girls like you, don't you know?" He said.
[26]
I covered my mouth.
[27]
Perhaps it was because of his life-saving act, I developed a deep attachment to Gavin, similar to a baby bird's attachment to its mother.
[28]
Before I even understood what liking someone was, I had already become blinded by his presence.
[29]
Over the years, he dated girls, and I made restaurant reservations for him; he took girls skiing, and I booked the venues; even he went to a hotel with Everleigh, and I paid the deposit.
[30]
When introducing me to others, he would always throw an arm around my shoulder and say,
[31]
"This is my buddy of over ten years, Eliza."
[32]
He had long since grown taller than me, by a head.
[33]
Even with my height, I had to look up to see his jawline and those sharp, handsome features.
[34]
But at those times, all I could do was straighten my back and smile in agreement , then said,
[35]
"Yes, I've known him for over ten years."
[36]
And I've liked him for those ten years. Those following words I could only say to myself.
[37]
2
[38]
Gavin and I both stayed in the local area for college.
[39]
On the day of registration, I helped him settle into his dormitory and only then returned to my dormitory to start tidying up my own things.
[40]
Someone pushed the door open, and when I looked up, it was Everleigh, his girlfriend.
[41]
Gavin had never mentioned that his girlfriend was attending the same university as us; he rarely talked about her at all.
[42]
I thought she would be like his previous girlfriends, who would eventually be replaced by the next one.
[43]
I hadn't expected them to attend the same university. Did this mean he was serious about her?
[44]
Before I could think further, Everleigh's phone rang. She answered with a sweet expression, and her was voice playful and soft.
[45]
I realized it was Gavin on the other end.
[46]
Feeling like I had stumbled upon a secret, I hurriedly gathered my clothes and pretended to go do laundry, pushing the door open to leave.
[47]
As I closed the door, I heard Gavin's voice through the phone, deep and captivating.
[48]
He said,
[49]
"How about I take you out for dinner?"
[50]
He chuckled softly after saying that.
[51]
I stood stunned outside the door.
[52]
I had never heard him speak to his girlfriend in that tone before.
[53]
His past girlfriends either took care of his moods like I did or liked getting angry too much, eventually leading to a breakup.
[54]
At that moment, I realized with painful clarity that he was serious with campus beauty.
[55]
"He's serious, Eliza,"
[56]
I told myself.
[57]
Suddenly, there was a spasm in my chest, like being struck by electricity, and a cramping pain filled my chest.
[58]
I crouched down, burying my head in my knees.
[59]
Over the years, I had considered giving up on him.
[60]
Before he became the heartbreaker he is now, there was a summer when he first liked a girl, secretly.
[61]
He would quietly place her favorite drink in her drawer and bring her breakfast, wrapping it in clothes to keep it warm.
[62]
These were all things I used to do for him.
[63]
For the first time, I told myself to let him go.
[64]
But I couldn't.
[65]
Ever since he pulled me out of the bathroom when I was nine, watching over him and caring for him seemed to become instinctual to me.
[66]
He was like the medicine that I had relied on for over a decade, and the withdrawal were too painful, and I couldn't quit.
[67]
Yet, the girl he first liked, named Samantha Wheeler, ultimately rejected him.
[68]
I still remembered that day. Samantha walked in briskly, placed the things Gavin had given her back on her desk, and said, "Being overly kind without a reason can make you lose your sense of self.
[69]
Take care
[70]
of yourself."
[71]
As she said this, she looked at me.
[72]
3
[73]
When I returned to the dormitory, Everleigh was putting on makeup.
[74]
She saw me in the mirror and smiled to me.
[75]
I felt a bit nervous and nodded back.
[76]
In the past, Gavin's girlfriends had only two attitudes towards me, either ignoring or being hostile.
[77]
It was the first time I encountered such friendliness, and I wasn't quite used to it.
[78]
But at least I didn't have to hide away like a snail to minimize my presence anymore.
[79]
I hoped we could get along normally in the future, I thought.
[80]
Everleigh had already begun to tidy up her hair. I caught a glimpse of her gathering her hair and tying it into a bun.
[81]
The more I looked, the more something seemed off.
[82]
She reminded me of someone.
[83]
Who was it?
[84]
Then it hit me. She looked just like Samantha back in the day with her hair up.
[85]
I suddenly wanted to laugh.
[86]
So, it wasn't just me who had been yearning in vain for over a decade.
[87]
4
[88]
Gavin, campus beauty, and I were assigned to the same class, Fashion Design Class 01.
[89]
A senior from the student council saw my previous work and hoped I could design an outfit for the host of the welcome party.
[90]
In class, while I was drafting, campus beauty came over.
[91]
She glanced at my design and sweetly said,
[92]
"What a beautiful dress, did you design it yourself?"
[93]
I didn't say anything, just nodded in response.
[94]
Everleigh touched the fabric and suddenly smiled at me, saying, "Eliza, could you make a dress for me too?
[95]
I am worried about not being able to find a suitable outfit for the welcome party.
[96]
It doesn't have to be too complicated. You're so talented,
[97]
I'm sure you can whip it up quickly!"
[98]
Gavin heard her voice and looked over here.
[99]
Seeing this, campus beauty went over to him and took hold of his arm and playfully said,
[100]
"Gavin, you want to see me in a dress, too, right?"
[101]
Though she was speaking to him, her eyes darted towards me.
[102]
Gavin shifted his gaze back to his drawing and casually said to me,
[103]
"Help her out when you have time."
[104]
I clenched the fabric, forcing myself to straighten my back, and said, "Sorry, I'm busy making this dress for the senior.
[105]
I really don't have time."
[106]
Gavin looked at me in surprise.
[107]
This must have been a new feeling for him.
[108]
Based on past experiences, this was such a small matter he wouldn't even think twice about.
[109]
Just like when he casually asked me to book hotels and venues for him and his girlfriends.
[110]
He would mention it offhandedly, and I would go through the trouble, but he never asked about the process.
[111]
But for the first time, on such a small matter, I didn't comply.
[112]
5
[113]
The welcome party still hit a snag.
[114]
Just before it started, the dress I designed for the senior went missing.
[115]
I had clearly brought it to the backstage and stored it in the wardrobe.
[116]
The wardrobe was communal and had no lock.
[117]
But who would take a party dress?
[118]
I got my answer when campus beauty sang the opening song.
[119]
The dress I had spent three sleepless nights making was on her.
[120]
The pearl mermaid gown accentuated her figure, and the spotlight on stage made her look like a fairytale princess singing on stage.
[121]
I could already hear boys whistling from the audience.
[122]
The senior approached me in a fury. And just as I was about to explain, campus beauty came off stage and rushed over, grabbing my hand, saying, "Eliza, thank you for making the dress.
[123]
It's so beautiful, and the success of my performance is all thanks to you."
[124]
The senior looked at her, then at me, expecting an explanation.
[125]
I lowered my head and said, "It wasn't me.
[126]
I didn't design a dress for her.
[127]
This dress was made for you."
[128]
Everleigh immediately let go of my hand, and said, "Eliza, what are you talking about?
[129]
You promised to make this dress
[130]
for me."
[131]
Her friend chimed in,
[132]
"Yeah, we all heard it in class."
[133]
Gavin happened to walk into the backstage, probably to pick up campus beauty and take her to the audience stand.
[134]
She took his arm and asked,
[135]
"You heard Eliza agree to design a dress for me in class, right?"
[136]
Gavin saw the senior's displeased face and immediately understood what was happening.
[137]
I bit my lip, hoping he would say something for me, just one sentence, just the truth.
[138]
He lowered his head and said,
[139]
"I don't know."
[140]
I released my teeth from biting my lip.
[141]
Of course.
[142]
He knew very well that campus beauty was deliberately undermining me.
[143]
Being a female buddy by his boyfriend's side for over ten years was something no girlfriend could tolerate.
[144]
Even if anyone could see he had no feelings for me.
[145]
But he liked her, so he tolerated her deliberately undermining me.
[146]
Tolerating her meant sacrificing me.
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